Workplace bullying - any advice?

Suzkin

I must have missed reading the post from the Troll. So thanks everyone for arranging to remove his post.

Update: the company has suggested their male HR officer meets with myself and my boss BUT due to the nature of my 'complaint', I have asked for a female HR officer instead. This means that the only time the meeting can take place now, is in the first week of June :-( Apparently, my boss is finding a suitable venue for the meeting.

HR suggested I meet with them AND my boss. However, part of my complaint is due to my boss as well (His attitude as evidenced by some of his comments to me, lack of support, and general lack of taking this whole thing seriously). Would it be 'fair' / appropriate to include my boss in this meeting? Or should I be asking to have a meeting with HIS line manager and HR, or just HR?

The last time HR talked to me over the phone, she said that this 'male' HR officer would listen to 'YOUR (i.e. my) ISSUES' sensitively.....However, given the bullying I have received, a female HR person would be more appropriate, and I have NO ISSUES in that I am making a GRIEVANCE to them WITH COMPLAINTS.

I feel I would like to talk with HR only - but am not sure whether this would be allowed. I am disgusted by my bosses lack of care - I thought all employers had a duty of care for their employees?

floss2

Why not go for both - meet with HR alone, then meet with HR & the boss? The latter meeting will be most important, and think about whether you want to be accompanied - by ANYONE, not just fellow employee or union.

The using of the word "issues" will be conciliatory-speak, designed to defuse rather than inflame a situation. They have to appear to be impartial and detached from the situation.

Floss x

Suzkin

Thanks Floss, When I receive the letter from HR about the meeting, I shall ask to see HR first, and THEN meet with HR & the boss.

Suzkin

Darth_Trader wrote: »

Lady Stardust - I know what you mean. I really wish I had just left my company years ago, the stress was unbearable and took my blood pressure to 185/110 until I started doing more to relax!

Suzkin - my advice is to explore taking your case to law. If a union won't represent you, then definitely keep trying ACAS, and Citizens' Advice. Do a search for 'no win no fee' employment lawyers so they can consider the chance of you winning at tribunal. There are loads of them on the internet, so best to see what CAB say - they might know who are the reputable ones. I've just done a quick search, and found this link, which might be useful.

Thanks very much Darth Trader for the link - hopefully, they will get back to me. All of this should have been dealt with AGES ago though, and I probably have no rights now: My letter to HR/my boss was at the start of Jan 08, and since then I haven't been back (a few times in March, when I kept going off sick, and I even mentioned the reason why on my self-cert. form that it was the way I was being treated - and yet no-one took any notice of this). I feel annoyed that the original advice from HR back in December (a few days after the last incident) was NOT to follow the grievance route (as it would be such a lot of work for them), but to just write them a letter. Of course, I took their advice. It's as if the unprofessionalsim is rife throughout the whole company.

floss2

Suzkin wrote: »

..... It's as if the unprofessionalsim is rife throughout the whole company.

Possibly, but it may just be that you were badly advised by that person, which may explain the sudden wish to deal with it in person by HR - they may have realised that you were badly advised.

Suzkin

I am really glad that the NEW HR Manager is taking the first steps towards appropriate action (after saying that she lost my original letter..- did they think I was going to fall into a big whole and simply disappear and make everything alright for them??!). However, all I've received in that workplace is poor treatment: no acknowledgement from the old HR Manager regarding my letter, not only HR Manager herself advising me to not follow the G.Procedure BUT....supervisors / other staff calling me names and getting away with it, no job description, no return-to-work interviews after sickness, sudden change of duties ('demotion') by the supervisor who called me names (and he got away with it), boss never giving me my P45 when I had resigned in May 2007 (therefore I couldn't fully complete the signing on process and never received any benefits/NI payments etc.), 'bully supervisor' reading confidential information, and also reading out aloud - just out of his curiosity - staff names, ages and the length of time they have worked for the company, I have seen at least three completed staff self-certification forms left casually at my desk (in amongst the scrap paper) - and have needed to hand them in etc etc. it just goes on.

However, as you say (and thatks for your calming influence floss2!), that at last, the message seems to be sinking in with them..

Wicked_witch

I am sure they did hope you would just fall into a hole! Lucky you are a bit stronger than that!

I think now they have started a proper complaint procedure the best thing to do is go along with it... diarise (sp) anything provable that you haven't already and ask for regular updates- specify how regular- so that they can't keep using the 'waiting for feedback' excuse- or rather, they can but you will have evidence of how long getting the info is taking. Obviously, the longer anyone takes to comply with the investigation, the more guilty they will look. Don't want to keep referring to my situation, but my husband's complaint (which is also a work related complaint from me as I work as his LSA) is being held up in just this way and we have tons of emails saying 'no feedback yet' which makes the department heads look as guilty as they are.

Good luck and stay in touch!

ceejayblue

Its awhile since I posted about my experience of work place bullying and since then I've had a holiday in Spain for a week of R&R and although I had a couple of iffy moments it was a great week.

Came back last Saturday night with the full intention of going back to work today. Woke up early after a bad night's sleep with that familiar feeling of dread and promptly threw up. I had already sort of decided that I wouldn't go back this week at one point because I just couldn't face the problems but I had decided on Sunday that I would at least try and make the effort. After being ill I rang my GP and got an early appointment. He took one look at me and said I looked as if I was depressed and I really do need to get a new job as it is obvious that the job is making me ill. He has prescribed antidepressants and said I should keep taking the high blood pressure tablets too. I'm now signed off for another two weeks.

When I came out I rang my boss, I actually got to speak to her this time! Gist of the conversation was:

"Hello Julie C"
"Hi Julie its Chris, I've just been to see my GP and he's signed me off for another two weeks."
"Oh, but you were well enough to go on holiday last week?"
"Yes, but I did have a couple of days that I was a bit unwell" (Have to admit I rather exaggerated that but I could get the drift of her question!).
"OK,"
"I'm sorry that I won't be in."
"Fine, Bye"

She was very curt and was obviously hinting at the fact that I went away when I was off sick but the fact is my original certificate said I could go back to work after the 17 May and as that was the day I was flying to Spain I had included in my letter that I sent with the certificate that I would be back after my holiday.

I have now sent another letter with the latest certificate making it clear that I understood what she was getting at and that my GP had said I needed to remove myself from the stress and that going on holiday was fine and no problem for me flying. I also stressed that the fact that last week was booked as annual leave and was not covered by a sick certificate meant that me being away should not have been as issue as I would've been on leave anyway.

She has now made me more determined to leave. I decided to speak to our HR Business Partner and rang the office. Guess who picked up her phone? Yes my boss! Now I know she would've seen my phone number show up on the display and I know it was unprofessional but I hung up on her. I couldn't face speaking to her again and getting the sharp edge of her tongue. I am sure she has slagged me off to all and sundry, saying I'm skiving and how bad a job I'd done before I went off and I'm making notes of everything that she says when I do speak to her and have made notes of things that she has said and done before. I am definitely going to take advice from ACAS now as I've just about had it. I just hope that having been off sick for several weeks with stress, anxiety and now depression won't affect my chances of getting another job.

Chris

littlemissteapot_2

I was bullied for a year and a half by my ex manager. I was on sick for a year put in a grievance which is supposed to take 10 working days to conclude. A year later had no word so sought legal advice left on the grounds of unfair dismissal & have escalated it to employment tribunal have just heard today that it has been accepted at employment tribunal & will now go to next stage, it's really hard to find the courage to take it that far. These people shouldn't get away with this. Mine i'm sure your mental health has taken such a battering! It's not fair. If you want any more advice or just to chat please PM me, Thinking of you LMTP x

ceejayblue

this morning whilst drafting an email to our HR Manager I received a letter from the HR Adviser saying that he and my boss want to visit me at home because of the fact that I've been off work for a considerable period and want to have a sickness review with me. My boss must have gone into HR the minute she put the phone down on me!

They've told me I can have a work colleague or Trade Union rep present but as I'm not in a union and I don't think its worth getting someone from work to attend I was going to have my neighbour (ex TU Rep!!) or my husband present but I know from having dealt with these sort of things for HR previously that they don't like relatives getting involved.

I'm now feeling more stressed than ever and feeling like they are pushing me to come back when I'm not ready. I dread to think what is going to be said. They say they want to discuss the nature and extent of my illness, whether it is work-related (Duh! Of course it is!!) and what they can do to help me recover and get back to work (should've thought of that weeks ago when they first knew of the problem), what treatment/medication I'm on and its effectiveness or likely success towards recovery, when do I think I will be fit to return to work plus any other issues I wish to discuss.

I am not sure about my boss being there at all as she is part of the problem - well the main part actually but if I say I don't want her there will that antagonise things? If they won't let my husband or friend be with me then I'll have to ask someone from the office but haven't a clue who. There are loads of people who have crossed swords with her in the past who I am sure would love to help but again if I choose one of them will it make matters worse? I really don't know.