Tired of being afraid

rosyc_2

tine wrote: »

Well sometimes we need perfect strangers to show us we're not alone and that things we never dreamed off doing can be acchieved!
Ok so you're single... Well use it as an oppertunerty to take jobs you might not be able to when you are settled with a partner - like jobs that require lots of travel! I've made plenty of mistakes a long the road but the 3 months abroad was what I needed to kick start everything. I ended up chatting to a chap in the bar of the hotel I was stuck in one night, he sent me a mail the other day out of the blue having just found my e-mail on a pieces of paper! That's 3 years ago! Just asking how I was what I was doing these days etc - like a blast from the past. But you do meet all kinds of people out there that you'd walk past in the street normally.
And if you want to get nostalgic then sign up to facebook and try to look up old friends you went to school with etc It's amazing to catch up with people from decades ago - some have married, some have divorced, some have kids, some are single living with 20 cats :eek:

Your task for today is to find something FUN - something that makes you laugh

Thankyou, I have thought about changing jobs but want to wait until I have myself sorted out financially before I take any risks. The problem at the moment is just that it seems never ending and that by the time I have some money saved I will have missed out on everything people of my age have done. Everyone and everything seems to be passing me by due to the mess I have got myself into and not being a very outgoing person, I know the financial things will be sorted eventually but feel I'll be too old by then. I should be comfortable by now. Definitely do not want to be single with 20 cats, that is my biggest dread!

rosyc_2

SuzySu wrote: »

Morning Rosy.....I hope that you feel that the world is just a little bit better this morning.

Can't remember who mentioned St John's Wort earlier in the thread, but I would like to second that idea. St John's Wort is herbal, non-addictive and extremely powerful. I have been taking it for PMT for about 4 months now and the difference it has made is amazing. Don't get me wrong, I still feel 'out of sorts' occasionally, but don't get the mood swings I used to.

I would definitely recommend you do a little research and see what you think.

Speak soon.

I have thought about that, I just worry about taking any sort of tablets as don't want to be too reliant on anything, but my mood swings are terrible at the moment, so I will do some research. Thankyou.

rosyc_2

count_rostov wrote: »

Morning - just wanted to say a very big congratulations on shifting so much debt by yourself. If you keep going at this rate you only have a year to go which is fantastic!
xx
PS - love always seems to creep up when you least expect it

I hope so in both cases!

chevalier

Ref the debts
have a look at www.whatsthecost.com and look at the snowball calculator. Plug in your debts as they are now and your repayments and get a debt free date, then do the same thing again, but without the money from your second job. What difference does it make to the debt free date (DFD)? The reason I ask is that if you are working two jobs, then that in and of itself won't give you much time or energy for going out and meeting people no matter what the social setting. So maybe it might be worth knocking it on the head to give yourself a breather.

Secondly ref the possible depression
First of all being in debt is depressing. Being tired all the time is depressing to. But that doesn't necessarily mean you are clinically depressed. But if your low mood has been with you for a long time, then it may be time to talk to your gp or another one in the practice if you don't get on well with the current one.

I am on medication from depression. I am sort of in a holding position now. I think it is time to come off them, but I have a major move coming in 3 weeks, so don't want to risk it till after that. They were a major help to me when I was first diagnosed, and I am much better now.

If your debt free date is relatively near, then you can start planning what to do with the excess you will have when debt free. That way you won't just spend it on 'stuff' you may not need, but buy because you can. I know of some people who decided to split their new excess money into several pots, something like
40% saving for emergencies 40% holiday fund 20% new clothes and fun stuff fund. And set up standing orders to different accounts so they never saw the money.

best of luck
chev

rosyc_2

Hi Chevalier, thanks for your reply, the reason I have a second job is that I am self employed so although relatively well paid, it can be intermittent so sometimes I would not have enough to live on each month, so would have to go further into debt just to pay bills, also I feel I got myself into this so I must get myself out again, plus the people I work with are nice, and I would find it very difficult to sit at home worrying, when I can go out and earn some extra money, plus my second job is fairly flexible so I can do days, evenings or weekends and fit it around my own job. I just feel that the longer I can keep up my second job, the quicker I will get myself secure. It also stops me from sitting at home feeling lonely, but you are right it also stops me from doing other things, whick I know I need to do something about, I do sometimes feel I am sabotaging myself as I do find it quite difficult sometimes to talk to new people, although I have become better at that as I've got older, and having 2 jobs is my excuse/reason for not having to put myself in those situations.

Tustastic

Hi Rosy, just wanted to say hello and welcome to DFW. You have done wonderfully already on the debt busting, so give yourself a big pat on the back. You've had good advice and support already here - how about posting a Statement of Affairs (SOA) to see if the experts can help you reduce your expenses a bit? You can use this link; http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html
The advice about going to www.whatsthecost.com is great too.
HTH

rosyc_2

SOA

Rent: £400
Phone: £30
Loan:

mancbird

Hi Rosy,

Hope you're feeling better today

You said you didn't want to be reliant on tablets or speak to your doctor and I know what you mean about that. Have you ever tried Rescue Remedy? You can get it in a little bottle and you just put a couple of drops on your tongue or a bottle of water or you can buy it in a little spray. I use it whenever I'm feeling a bit 'low' or 'unsettled' and it really helps Might be worth a try...

Good luck with getting everything sorted out, you've definitely come to the right place with this forum!

rosyc_2

Will try again!

Income: can vary between £800 and £2000

Loan: £185 (54 payments to go)
Loan: £200 (9 payments to go)
Credit card: £65 (owe £2800) 0% till April 2009
Rent: £400
Savings: £70 (i do this as I can't guarantee my income so I have this put aside to dip into as needed)
Phone:£30
Internet: £15

I owe around £15,000, and have £12000 in savings, so technically £3000, I know people do not advise to keep any savings while you have debts but I would not get sick pay from either job so I need to keep that in case I cannot work, I would have no other income, I know that I would have more income as would not be paying as much interest, but need to know I could look after myself in an emergency, plus if my car dies I could not face taking out yet another loan.

Bismarck

Understand the need for some hard cash...especially if you can't pay off the loans with it anyway. Are they earning a good return though?