Tired of being afraid

taplady

Hi rosyC !

you've done brilliantly at reducing your debt so well done!:T The advice about seeing your Doctor about depression is good.(((hugs))) from me xxxxx

rosyc_2

Deep_In_Debt wrote: »

rosyc, sorry if this has been repeated but I thought I was heading for a breakdown when my ex left, although I was left with massive debts I decided that I there was a life out there and I have my health and I'm older than you! I've opened up a lot on here and told people a lot of personal stuff. Sometimes it's good just to have a good rant and let it all out. Believe me though, being single is the best thing I've done in a long time. I've had a lot of time to reflect and think about things and take care of myself. I have stress, mainly my debts but they can and will be sorted, my mental and physical health is more important and so are my brilliant mates. Honestly, being single is not a bad thing. Enjoy it while you have the chance.

I think you are right, I suppose I would rather be with no one than the wrong person, but it would be nice to have the opportunity to choose! The problem with my debts is that they have always been there and although I can see them going down, when they are gone I will still have to try to save enough for a house by myself, which is how I've managed to get myself so distressed I think, it just seems like a never ending battle, I literally cannot see a way to get myself any security.

smashedbooboo

Well honey, If your still up and awake. Join in and have a chat with us. Its what i started the thread for. But if it keeps you company as well then thats good enough for me. Remember we are there if you need us x x x

Stephen_Leak

Rosyc,

Your thread title reminds me of a quote from "Who Moved My Cheese", the famous book on coping with change, "What would you do, if you weren't afraid?".

rosyc_2

taplady wrote: »

Hi rosyC !

you've done brilliantly at reducing your debt so well done!:T The advice about seeing your Doctor about depression is good.(((hugs))) from me xxxxx

I have thought about going to the doctor, but I have just got used to dealing with everything by myself, and I just feel silly for making a fuss, my doctor isn't a very sympathetic person and I always think there are others much worse off than me, and my problems which feel huge to me would not seem anything to complain about to other people. Also I worry if I was given any tablets or anything to help me cope I might not be able to manage without them. As you can see I worry about just about everything. I am not close to my family and could not go to them with this.

meyore

rosyc wrote: »

I have thought about going to the doctor, but I have just got used to dealing with everything by myself, and I just feel silly for making a fuss, my doctor isn't a very sympathetic person and I always think there are others much worse off than me, and my problems which feel huge to me would not seem anything to complain about to other people. Also I worry if I was given any tablets or anything to help me cope I might not be able to manage without them. As you can see I worry about just about everything. I am not close to my family and could not go to them with this.

You sound so much like me in your thought patterns, its uncanny. Your doctor should be supportive and if they aren't then could you see another doctor? I've been through a few until I found one that understands. I refused to take anti depressants because of various reasons (ie. I'm afraid of being unable to cope without them, might just mask the problem) but in some cases I'm sure they're useful. A good doctor will work with you to find whats right for you.
Xx

MrsTinks

Rosyc - welcome to the gang
They're all very nice people here and you will probably find others here feeling like you do.
It's not all that long since I was as despondant as you probably feel now - I was single, had been for a while, only relationships I'd had were brief after my break up with my first fiace who dumped me months before our wedding. He got the house - I was in too much shock to fight him - and I got a bunch of debt. I dropped into deep depression at one point, never went to the docs because I didn't want to talk to anyone about it and I fought my way back out. The day I realised that it was entirely possible for me to manage on my own without a partner I opened up to a lot of new possibilties I took a 3 month stint working abroad after finding a temporary foster home for my cats, I came back and got promoted, I registered on a dating site for a giggle with a veryold friend I hadn't seen in year and who'd just gotten divorced... and 3 years later I am now a week from my wedding
I'm still in debt (well never said it was perfect! ), I own half the mortgage, I have a car I love and recently got a new job...
This isn't a "be jealous of me" post - but a "I've been there, it sucks, but straighten your back and get out there and things will happen all by them selves!"
I've sat in a large rented house with only my cats and cried for weeks on end - and in a way I needed to do it because I learnt a lot about myself.
But get out there! Meet people!
Have you thought about joining the local St Johns? It's great for meeting new people. Or if you like animals what about going to your local rescue and seeing if they need dog walkers - being around animals is in my view very calming.
Do you have any hobbies you enjoy that you might be able to turn into something social?

boredofbeingathome

Hey Rosie, welcome to the board.

First of all, well done for dealing with your debts. lots of folk will want to know how you did this...tips always welcome.

Secondly lots of boards for different kinds of chat, which i am sure you know.

There are lots of ways of dealing with feeling down, and i often find talking things through and herbal remedies the best. There are lots of reflective/philosophical threads on Old style as well.

Join in, make yourself at home and very nice to see you..virtually as it were.

Bob xx

Nessa56

Hi rosyc

I think you have done brilliantly in reducing your debt.

and I think someone as determined and as strong as you are will manage to get there own house eventually, it may be a little later than you would wish but I think you will do it.

And what an achievement that will be, you go girl.

v
x
:grouphug: :grouphug:

boredofbeingathome

tine wrote: »

Rosyc - welcome to the gang
They're all very nice people here and you will probably find others here feeling like you do.
It's not all that long since I was as despondant as you probably feel now - I was single, had been for a while, only relationships I'd had were brief after my break up with my first fiace who dumped me months before our wedding. He got the house - I was in too much shock to fight him - and I got a bunch of debt. I dropped into deep depression at one point, never went to the docs because I didn't want to talk to anyone about it and I fought my way back out. The day I realised that it was entirely possible for me to manage on my own without a partner I opened up to a lot of new possibilties I took a 3 month stint working abroad after finding a temporary foster home for my cats, I came back and got promoted, I registered on a dating site for a giggle with a veryold friend I hadn't seen in year and who'd just gotten divorced... and 3 years later I am now a week from my wedding
I'm still in debt (well never said it was perfect! ), I own half the mortgage, I have a car I love and recently got a new job...
This isn't a "be jealous of me" post - but a "I've been there, it sucks, but straighten your back and get out there and things will happen all by them selves!"
I've sat in a large rented house with only my cats and cried for weeks on end - and in a way I needed to do it because I learnt a lot about myself.
But get out there! Meet people!
Have you thought about joining the local St Johns? It's great for meeting new people. Or if you like animals what about going to your local rescue and seeing if they need dog walkers - being around animals is in my view very calming.
Do you have any hobbies you enjoy that you might be able to turn into something social?

Tine, how lovely...congratulations on impending nuptials:T Even more impressive that you find the time to police us unruly lot:cool: :rotfl:
Bob xx