IA's road to becoming a CAB Debt adviser.

immoral_angeluk

Maz3374 wrote: »

Lovely pics hun, and i can assure you that not all families do stuff like that together, so i would say you get extra mummy/daddy points for that!

We don't normally but we made an extra effort yesterday.

(Land_of)_Maz

That's good, and the kinda thing you need to do sometimes.

I know i don't really know you but i hate seeing you so blue.... you're such an inspiration to people but i think that in itself becomes a responsibility too.... as if you need the extra load!

If there are some things going on which are over and above the things you share on here, then it will definately do some good to talk. Happy to lend an ear if need be hun...

Sorry, seem to be posting across 2 threads here!!

Saw that the running is going well, do you find that helps to give you time alone with your own headspace....?

Triker

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I like being busy don't get me wrong... it's just finding the balance. Have been questioning myself about everything recently and doing a lot of thinking. Probably not good for me as thinking too much as it is. Just trying to clarify in my head where I'm going and what I really want. Everything in my life seems to be moving so fast I'm constantly playing catch up at the moment. I have days where all I want to do is be on my own. I mean literally on my own..
Most days I'm fine and happy with everything, and then some days I'm just like 'Why?' and I have to keep reminding myself that this stress is only temporary and will lead to better things.

Welcome to the world of the working wife and mother.....crapola isn't it.;)

My thoughts are pair it down to what works for you.

Speaking as someone who 'did it all' too, I urge you to find a balance.

I did 6 years at uni (you can imagine the debt) with 2 little children, then have been working for that better life ever since.

Guess what, I'm not sure where the better life is, think it passed me by when I was chasing my tail years ago, missing out on my children growing up, being too tired, preoccupied, busy and stressed with everything that would make our life better!!

Oh and not to mention the £48,000 worths of debt I'm in. From paying for the education, childcare, ready meals, petrol, house that was intended as a legacy for my kids that I can't afford......all for that elusive 'better life'.

Try to focus on what you want in your future for yourself, Steve and the children.

Good luck hun. xxxx

immoral_angeluk

Maz3374 wrote: »

That's good, and the kinda thing you need to do sometimes.

I know i don't really know you but i hate seeing you so blue.... you're such an inspiration to people but i think that in itself becomes a responsibility too.... as if you need the extra load!

If anything I think that's why I haven't posted much in the past few days. I know there's quite a few people who read my diary regularly and take things from it... and I don't want to have an negative impact on others.

If there are some things going on which are over and above the things you share on here, then it will definately do some good to talk. Happy to lend an ear if need be hun...

Thanks hun. That means a lot. I don't really have any girlie mates in the non mse world that I can talk to. I do have someone I talk to but I always worry about him getting sick of me moaning.

Saw that the running is going well, do you find that helps to give you time alone with your own headspace....?

Well I go running with my mate (Also the one I talk to) so don't really get much 'my headspace' time. But I like going running with him anyway. Sounds daft but it's nice to have someone other than Ste that I do things with.

Oh god I sound like a sadcase don't I? What the hell has happened to me?

slug2000

Hi IA,

I don't think I've ever posted on your thread, but am an avid reader.

First off - don't feel bad for feeling bad (IYSWIM!) - yes, you are an inspiration to many many people on here (me included!), but you're also a human person with real feelings and are allowed for things to get a bit on top of you sometimes - especially you - it exhausts me reading about what you've got going on in your life!
Yes, of course there are sacrifices to make in life to get to the place you want to be ... but perhaps you should think about stripping those finances down a little bit so that you're not pulling yourself in quite so many directions? The CAB stuff and OU course are clearly making you happy - which is great, and gives you that direction in your life (and not many people have that, believe me!) ... and then there's Argos, AS, Ste and the kids ... now, from reading your diary, you sound like an excellent mum - and you are setting such a great example to your two, clearly very happy, gorgeous girls - so don't worry about them. My mum went to uni when I was quite small, and yes we missed her sometimes and it was sometimes frustrating when she was writing essays and we wanted some "mummy" time. But, now I'm a grown up (kind of!) I can see how important that was for her and she is absolutely my hero now - she's doing what she wants to do and is so happy in her life. I'm not suggesting it's going to take you quite so long as it took her (about 20 years!) but one day you will look back on this time and think "man, that was a hard few years, but look at me now with my amazing, fulfilling job at the CAB, my two (or more?!) wonderful children who I couldn't be more proud of, and this amazing man who has stuck by me through good and bad.

Wow, this turned into a bit of a ramble! What I'm trying to say is don't beat yourself up for feeling bad, and try to hold on to the reasons why you're doing all of this. You're about as far away from being a bad person as I can ever imagine ... I've never met you but I think you're pretty darned incredible, and having a bit of a down time only goes to show that you are not superwoman - and you really don't have to be!

Take care x

slug2000

I clearly mean stripping your sacrifices down ... not stripping your finances down! doh!

Ellidee

:grouphug: :kisses3: :grouphug: Sar XX El-4-L

(Land_of)_Maz

Everybody goes thru phases of feeling like this and it's good to have someone to talk to outwith your partner....

although, how the hell you can talk and run up the chase is beyond me!!!!! I can barely speak when running!!!!!! lol

Concentrate on the postives, and decide what's going to have to give... i suspect a little less AS or no argos is in order... you're beating yourself up physically, mentally and emotionally at the moment. Time to take action.

you know the extra money is nice, but it's not making you happy, so time to cut something out.

And whatever other issues are bothering you may well be resolved just by you being around more, being less stressed etc.

And if not, then you will at least have time to tackle the issue, rather than sweeping it under the carpet each day in a bid to get everything else done.

Ellidee

:T Great post Slug :T

slug2000

why thank you! I don't post very often, though seem to spend my life on this forum ... and I try to make sure when I do post, it's something worthwhile ... not always the case though!