IA's road to becoming a CAB Debt adviser.

juno

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

a week or 2... I forget. lol

We've got til the 30th, so that's a while

Jo4

juno wrote: »

We've got til the 30th, so that's a while

Happy days then for you both if yous have 2 weeks, I thought by post 1030 that yous had a week from today!!

immoral_angeluk

Morning all. I was supposed to do a party last night but I got someone to cover. Haven't been sleeping properly and just needed a night off. I know I only had 2 parties but I woke up sat morning and I didn't have the energy. I said to myself that I was going to have an early night last night but I ended up playing super mario galaxy on the wii until 1am :doh:. Don't do myself any favours do I? I won't mention about the bottle of tesco value baileys I had either.. but I did sleep fairly solidly.
Also guess who's got conjunctivitis now.... :rolleyes: Ash. Have been giving her drops and praying that it clears up by tomorrow as I've already missed a week of CAB and really don't want to miss anymore
Have band practice later and want to go running again now that I've recovered.. :rotfl: but will check in later on. Need to do CAB/OU stuff tonight as well!!
Definately need to have that chat with Ste about how much I'm taking on I think...

Burlesque_Babe

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

Definately need to have that chat with Ste about how much I'm taking on I think...

Yes. Definitely. You can't carry on like this, you'll burn yourself out.

immoral_angeluk

:hello: Just nipping in to say a quick hi. Just finished the OU topic and ready to start working on my TMA once I've formulated a plan.. lol. Need to do some CAB stuff tonight though ready for tomorrow otherwise I would make a start on my essay planning. The course has been really interesting so far. Stretching my brain a bit. Not sure if that's a good thing at the moment because as it stands I'm tired and can't think straight... lol. Funnily enough I seemed to do ok with my work so far tonight though.. I think it's just normal mundane things I'm struggling with :rotfl:
Just seem to have so much going on at the minute I really need to sort out some kind of routine as I'm flitting from one thing to the next and being swamped. Feel like I'm hardly having 5 mins to sit and have time to myself as I feel like there's always something I should be doing. I know this is only temporary while I'm doing my training, the OU course etc.. just need to get myself sorted with a system to cope with it all.

It has been a bit weird recently as I've been so busy. Ste and I hardly seem to be speaking anymore, and one day seems to be rolling into the next. I look up and another day has gone by. I like being busy don't get me wrong... it's just finding the balance. Have been questioning myself about everything recently and doing a lot of thinking. Probably not good for me as thinking too much as it is. Just trying to clarify in my head where I'm going and what I really want. Everything in my life seems to be moving so fast I'm constantly playing catch up at the moment. I have days where all I want to do is be on my own. I mean literally on my own.. just jump in the car and go somewhere quiet. No CAB, no OU, no AS, no Argos, no kids, no Ste, no nothing just totally on my own. I guess it's to be expected. My life has gone from being the same thing day in day out to being this blur of almost chaos that, although is headed in the direction I want to go, just seems to be hauling me along at lightspeed with my clinging onto the bumper.
Most days I'm fine and happy with everything, and then some days I'm just like 'Why?' and I have to keep reminding myself that this stress is only temporary and will lead to better things. The AS seems to be going at lightspeed and taking up a lot of my time, so I'm thinking of backing off a bit from it. I've been doing 2 parties a week recently and I'm knackered what with everything else I'm trying to do as well. Don't get me wrong I love it and it's great fun, but I've found myself thinking 'Oh god I've got to do this order, call this client, prep for this party etc etc etc' well all in all the AS was just a means to earn a bit of extra cash and make up the hours for the tax credits so we could afford for me to do the CAB. The CAB is what I really want to do and the reason I'm doing everything else, so I need to stay focused on that which isn't easy when there's so much going on. I enjoy Argos as it's extra cash and I literally go in do my job and come home, no thinking involved.
The weirdest thing is that even though I'm meeting all kinds of new people doing AS parties etc, I still feel really lonely sometimes. I don't have any friends that I can just nip round with wine for a movie and a chat etc and even if I did I would feel guilty A) because there's other things I should be doing and I wouldn't be spending time with Ste who's been an angel supporting me and putting up with everything.
I seem to be constantly stuck in this trap of I want x, y and z but can't have it because of a, b and c.

and you know... I don't even know what I want anymore? I suppose it would help to list some stuff really to try and focus my mind..

If I were totally selfish and this was an ideal world I would want..

To be happy.
To have friends.
To not have money worries.
To be successful in my CAB stuff and it lead to a great career.
To appreciate my time with Ste and the girls rather than every day blurring into the next and me wondering where the days have gone and what the hell I've done with them.

That's not too bad a list is it really? I often catch myself feeling guilty and selfish... but looking at that list it doesn't seem like that much. But then again...

*apologies as this seems to have turned into a massive rant!*

Mudbath

Hugs to you IA - I know just how you mean about sometimes just wanting to be on your own. You know it's all a means to an end but sometimes you're still left asking yourself why! Many a time i'm driving somewhere, meeting myself coming back and I just have a good old scream. It's best to do this when stopped at traffic lights as it provides entertainment for whoever is in the queue in front of you! Your list isn't selfish, it's just the normal kind of stuff we'd all like to acheive. Oh my god, this has turned into a lecture now and I only wanted to hiya and well done for doing so well. Lol! Hope you have a good and slower week xx

Gemmzie

Sar, I know I don't have kids or a marriage but I certainly know about the difficulties of balancing studying, working which you do for the stable money not the love (Argos), the volunteer job you love but it doesn't pay the bills (CAB) and the job which is more fun but sporadic (AS).

I would definitely consider; a schedule (it seems anally retentive but it'll help you de-stress so much), organise a date night with Ste (doesn't have to be fancy, just a meal and a film and a night on the sofa) and a quick priority scan.
How much longer can you do all five (CAB, home, OU, AS, Argos) realistically - and how can you plan ahead to see which one has some give?

beanielou

Huggles Sar.
Sleep well.

Snaggles

Phew.....aaaaannd......relaaaaxxxxxxx.........

Firstly (((hugs))) because as you probably guessed, I've also been through (am going through?) a period where I'm questioning lots of things and trying to work out what I want and where my priorities lie, so I do understand a bit of what you are feeling.

I think a list is a great idea, as is putting everything down in writing as you have just done. Sometimes, things are so much clearer just for saying (or typing) them out loud.

Looking at your list of ambitions, some of them will take quite a while to achieve, and I think you maybe need to put a timescale on them - so maybe you can wait 5 years for the 'great career and loads of money', but you need to sort out 'time with Ste and the girls' more urgently (your family are the rock you stand on when you are reaching for the sky....cheesy but true).

Having short and long term goals might help you work out a way forward that will improve things significantly enough NOW, but with more room for improvement in the future.

Have you paid for your Ann Summers starter pack yet (the stuff you pay from your first however many orders)? If so - have you thought about resuming your original job hunt, and look for something with set hours, that takes up less of your time and energy? If the job really is just 'a means to an end', it is taking up a LOT of 'you' that you could be devoting to the other things you want in life.

Going to stop rambling now hope it wasn't too waffly.

Ellidee

:kisses3: :grouphug: :kisses3: Sar- You are meeting yourself coming back at the mo but at least you recognise it has all been a bit too much all at once.You are doing so well trying to deal with everything and stay focussed. Can you discuss it with Ste and tell him how you feel ? And remember EVERYTHING passes - good and bad. Hang on in there babe. Love ya XXX