IA's road to becoming a CAB Debt adviser.

immoral_angeluk

Thanks guys. Talking to Ste as I type.

barnaby-bear

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

and you know... I don't even know what I want anymore? I suppose it would help to list some stuff really to try and focus my mind..

If I were totally selfish and this was an ideal world I would want..

To be happy.
To have friends.
To not have money worries.
To be successful in my CAB stuff and it lead to a great career.
To appreciate my time with Ste and the girls rather than every day blurring into the next and me wondering where the days have gone and what the hell I've done with them.

That's not too bad a list is it really? I often catch myself feeling guilty and selfish... but looking at that list it doesn't seem like that much. But then again...

*apologies as this seems to have turned into a massive rant!*

Thing is none of those are independent - if your worried about money you cant just enjoy life, without the rubbish jobs you can't do the CAB training.... and so on....
You have taken on an awful lot but don't forget a lot of it is time-limited and you are alredy 1/6th or whatever of the way through. You also don't have the choice of the perfect scenario - you weren't happy before struggling and seemed a bit frustrated, question is - is this better or not - is it heading in the right direction - is any of it helping you work out what you want? If you ditch some of it fair enough but at least you'll have done it having explored the option.

The friends thing is tricky - I can only say that I found the mid-20s when it was tough, it's easy to meet people at college when people are young and single and putting themselves out there. mid-20s people start settling down, moving to places they can afford, starting families etc... you've done the kids thing earlier than a lot so that's always going to curtail your activities. A lot of us use the internet because the regular scoial network community structures have died off. Also changing direction or getting different goals does mean you move away or on from people you leave behind and finding new group is odd and difficult.

I think Ste has been a bit of a star - does he share your vision - does he have any ideas what should give - maybe he has some answers (there aren't any right ones per se only you two know what will work long term).

You've got lots of options better than having none, you've given yourself choices and that's lovely to see. I think you've also broken the cycle (you know what I mean) and turned the negatives into choices.

hypno06

haha!! this reads just like my diary did earlier in the week! My result was that I am chucking in college - I am behind on my assignments and the only way of catching up was to work through the night meaning that my job would suffer and as it is that job which pays the bills and keeps the roof over our head and the DCAs from our door, it was silly to try and pack in the college stuff just because "it would be a shame not to continue"......

Similarly, I gave up my weekend bar job a few weeks ago, because working 7 days a week on a permanent basis was not good for me - I have been doing it for such a long time, that initially I worried we could not manage without the money, but making decisions like this means you change other things to adjust.

I won't deny that it feels as though I "should" be able to cope with it all, but the fact is I can't - something has to give, and then the rest has to be reassessed accordingly.

(sorry, don't mean this post to be about "me"!)

If that means you give up something, eg Argos or AS, then you just re-assess everything else you do to accommodate it - if that means less money coming in from *somewhere* then so be it - you will manage. No point in having a bit extra money if you are too unhappy to be able to enjoy it.

etc etc etc - you know the score

Gemmzie

Keep posting guys, I think you are persuading me to quit my job too :rotfl:

Jo4

IA hope your alright and I hope you get things sorted out.

emily_jackson

Hope you're okay Sarah. I know you've got a lot of responsibilties but don't forget to have some time to yourself every so often, even if it's just going to the hairdresser's or having a nice bubble bath. There's no point having a hectic life if you're not happy

System

Hey Sar, sorry things appear to be getting away from you. Time to consolidate, stocktake and reconcile all that is going on. We all and probably you as well forget how young you are and just how much you wiill have grown up in such a short space of time. Maybe it is a natural adjustment you are going through. Dont ignore your instincts, dont ignore them, you will have to roll with them whatever they will be. Take care Len x

(Land_of)_Maz

Hey Sar, just wanted to say that you are not alone in feeling like the juggling cannot go on forever...

I'm sure you can and will cope with the challenges you have set yourself but maybe you need to re-evaluate and decide what can be pared down a bit.

Dare i say it, you have been spending on Wii's and stuff so this AS money has not been survival money but luxuries money, so maybe you can consider doing only one party a week now...? What with only one evening out of the house for that, and only 1 party to prep for, i daresay that alone would make a difference....

Remember to count your blessings, (i know you have already) you have a lovely bloke, lovely kids, a lovely home, tiny wee debts, a band, a future in a field you will excel in, and loads and loads of lovely friends.

Oooooh, and as you are a runner now, so i bet you have great buns!!

immoral_angeluk

Pics from our trip to see the ducks yesterday on our local canal.

(Land_of)_Maz

Lovely pics hun, and i can assure you that not all families do stuff like that together, so i would say you get extra mummy/daddy points for that!