Ok to leave daughters overnight?

MKwife

I think it all depends on the 15 year old. I used to look after my young brother when I was 14 and his small friend all thoughout the holidays, I used to look after 3 young children all weekend (and overnight) at this age too. But then I was very responsible at that age and my parent were never too far away if I did need help.

I think you (op) will know the answer to your question in your heart of hearts. Only you know if you feel that she is responsible enough.

Phatmouse

Soubrette wrote: »

My daughter is 15 in May and I fully intend to let her stay the odd night on her own at 16 if she is comfortable with the idea. I firmly believe that part of my job as a parent is to produce confident adults who can assess and cope with risk in their lives.

I actually believe that 'never' leaving them on their own is as neglectful as leaving them on their own too young or leaving them scared or ill prepared.

I personally would not put her in charge of her 14 year old sister overnight though, until she felt fully confident with coping with it on her own though.

In my experience bestpud, people who reflect on these decisions and listen to all advice are likely to make the right decision that suits them

Sou

I wanted to express the same sentiment but couldn't be arsed, so well said!

ebaybaby

I wouldnt leave the 16yr old overnight looking after a sibling either.
Is your job that important to you?
Im not having a go but I dont even think this question should ever have even been asked.

ScoobieGirl

bestpud wrote: »

Is it the risk of fire or something like that which is the biggest problem, do you think?

I would say so. Although such a small risk of it happening, consequences are unthinkable. Talk through an escape plan etc and I think that would be fine.

Intruders a completely different problem. But only you can judge how likely that is. For a lot of people I can't imagine that would even be a concern. If it is a possibility I wouldn't leave them.

The only other thing is would your daughter pop our to the shops or something and leave the younger one alone? May be worth stressing this point to her

skippy21

I feel really sorry for young peple now who are not allowed to develop their own confidence or independance. At 12 I was travelling by bus into a major city centre to school (as were many of my peers), at 14 I was babysitting kids from 2 - 12, although they were neighbours, and my mum was nearby.

At (only just) 17 I left home to goto university - I really can't believe the problem folk have on here with letting go of the apron strings. Do you really believe the world is a worse place than it was - or are we just catching more of the bad people? Is it possible the media just provide a focus on certain issues?

To the OP - You know your 15/16 yr old, provided you run through the scenarios of "what would you do if..." - then I can't see the problem.

Good luck, I'm sure you won't need it.

ebaybaby

skippy21 wrote: »

At (only just) 17 I left home to goto university - I really can't believe the problem folk have on here with letting go of the apron strings. Do you really believe the world is a worse place than it was - or are we just catching more of the bad people? Is it possible the media just provide a focus on certain issues?

Do you read the papers? Do you watch the news? Gone are the days when we leave our back doors open, or the baby asleep in the pram on the step.

The world is a worse place, whether we like it or not we have to "wrap" our kids up this day and age. The McCanns found that out.

sarymclary

My eldest is 16, and I won't even leave him alone overnight with his 14y/o brother for one night next weekend when I go to my goddaughter's birthday party. My BF is going to come to stay overnight, and I'll do a 300 mile round trip in 24hours to do it. I'm taking my 2 youngest sons 10 & 7 with me. My 16 y/old is sensible, mature, level headed, capable and self-assured, in fact I'd recommend him for an evening's babysitting to anyone. I let him babysit all 3 of my boys for a couple or so hours at a time and I go out locally with my BF, but I put my 2 youngest in bed first.

My 10 y/old was sick in the night last week at 4.30am, and it's the first time he's woken me in years, but there's no way my 16 year old could have consoled him. My 7 y/old was sick the week before starting at midnight, and through the night, and even I struggled to console him when he was convinced at one point he was turning into bolognese (don't ask, he has a vivid imagination and he'd eaten easter egg)!!!:EasterBun

Here's the thing, you can't predict when anyone will be ill, can you? Personally, unless I had an older child, of adult age at home, I would not leave them in sole charge overnight for security and medical reasons. Parents react on gut reactions, especially in medical emergencies, and I'd never forgive myself if they got sick in the night with meningitis, or a high temperature that led to convulsions, etc. You just never know. I've been careful for all these years so far, so a couple or so more won't do me any harm I guess.

I know how hard it is to work out childcare adequately, which is why I've hardly gone out for the past 16 years!! I hope you manage to sort something out that works for you all.

As for the person who goes running at night while her kids are home alone: break a leg!

haylibo

Bestpud, you could always give it a try out before hand and see how it feels.

Know what you mean about how DD6 describes the whole situation - that's what I was trying to get to originally I think. You can imagine the possibilities can't you, 'my sister had to leave school to look after me because my mummy stays out all night' lol.

I can think of plenty of girls that I knew at 16 who were more than capable of doing the job and plenty who weren't and I think you know yourself whether your DD is one of them.

BW
Hayles

pickle

I wouldn't feel safe leaving a sixteen year old in charge. They tend to lead lives which are unknown to their parents, no matter how good you think they are. I remember a girl at school whose sister was left at home at 16 years of age and a man broke into the house to burgle the place and the sister was left terrified. Would your 16 year old be able to do the school drop-off and pick up for you? I would think that was a safer bet if possible.

bandraoi

pickle wrote: »

I wouldn't feel safe leaving a sixteen year old in charge. They tend to lead lives which are unknown to their parents, no matter how good you think they are. I remember a girl at school whose sister was left at home at 16 years of age and a man broke into the house to burgle the place and the sister was left terrified. Would your 16 year old be able to do the school drop-off and pick up for you? I would think that was a safer bet if possible.

An adult would be terrified too, and a 16 year old can do as much or as little in that situation as an adult can do.

The fact that she was 16 has nothing to do with it.