Ok to leave daughters overnight?

suzysue_2

fannyadams. You cannot leave your children alone, not ever at the ages they are now!

As mrcow said, what if something was to happen to you and the authorities found your little children alone in the house?

You have put them at risk, it would not go down well.

melancholly

it's bizarre - at 16/17 i was babysitting to get some extra money. before i could drive i either got a taxi paid for me or driven home by the parents (usually friends of friends so no-one completely random). i'd sometimes be there from 6pm til 3am and it was *so* much easier later when the kids had gone to bed (getting them to actually go to bed was often the most difficult thing - and having to listen to grade 1 clarinet practice while one girl was awake is some odd form of torture!). some of these kids were 4/5/6. the odd thing is that i completely agree with the nerves over leaving children in the care of a 16 year old overnight - and yet if you shift the hours i was babysitting forward 3 hours then it's entirely the same thing! you have to love double standards like that!

i guess all these discussions entirely depend on the children involved - so it's tough to give really unilateral advice as a stranger! bestpud - you know your children better than anyone else so if you think it will work, then you're in the best place to judge!

DaisyFlower

I'll admit to being an over protective parent but as your daughter is 16 next month I think for one night a week it's fine. Look at it this way, next month she can get married with your permission and have her own children so puts things into perspective.

You obviously trust her so go with your judgement. Just make sure she has a route out in case of a fire and that she has numbers etc to call in an emergency.

To the poster that goes jogging, I cannot believe you would leave two small children home alone whilst you do your own thing. It may only be sometimes and for a short period of time but anything could happen - either to them or you. I wont even pop next door to collect a parcel without taking my little man with me and would never leave him alone until he was old enough and wise enough to deal with any problems etc.

silvercar

If your 16 year old and 6 year old are happy to do so, then I don't think there is a problem.

I have left my 17 year old twice, I wouldn't leave my 14 year old with him overnight, but I think the larger age gap and the fact that the 6 year old sleeps makes it better.

As to the Mum who leaves her young kids to go running, I could never do that and I think in this country you would be classed as negligent and criticised. In France and Germany, it would be seen as completely normal. Mothers of young children often pop out to the shops or to pick up siblings from school without a second thought.

bestpud

Thank you everyone for your comments.

mrsbez - I only have four more modules to do (I was half way through my final year when I deferred) so it would make little sense to study elsewhere now. Also, I have to finish by June 2009 as far as I am aware, to get funding.

haylibo - I am not too worried about the school making a fuss as I would not go ahead unless I was satisfied I would be ok legally.

melancholly - yes that is the daft thing as I was babysitting at this age and younger, and until the early hours too. DD1 also babysits until 2-3 am for a lady down the road. She puts those two girls to bed but would obviously not have that responsibility with dd2. I also left home and was independent at 16, but then I would not want dd to do that!


I am glad I started this thread as it's been very useful. I was concerned I was not being objective enough. As in I wondered if I was thinking it was ok because I wanted it to be, iyswim? I'm glad most of you don't think I'm off my trolley for even thinking it!

We will obviously think some more about it and look into alternatives, but I am going to ask dd1 what she thinks about it before I go any further.

:beer:

abbecer

My sons are five and three and are both sensible for their age but I would never leave them alone in the house. I could never forgive myself if something happened to them.

Rebecca x

haylibo

haylibo - I am not too worried about the school making a fuss as I would not go ahead unless I was satisfied I would be ok legally

No, I got that from your posts bestpud, you're obviously giving it a lot of thought both ways. I wouldn't necessarily think that the legality of it would deter the school from contacting social services about the matter or for SS to simply ignore it should it come to their attention though.

I'm not saying it will at all but do be aware that the authorities can be a lot more investigative than you would expect should they be called. I'm probably a mile off beam and it's nothing to worry about but couldn't not say...
BW
Hayles

bestpud

haylibo wrote: »

haylibo - I am not too worried about the school making a fuss as I would not go ahead unless I was satisfied I would be ok legally

No, I got that from your posts bestpud, you're obviously giving it a lot of thought both ways. I wouldn't necessarily think that the legality of it would deter the school from contacting social services about the matter or for SS to simply ignore it should it come to their attention though.

I'm not saying it will at all but do be aware that the authorities can be a lot more investigative than you would expect should they be called. I'm probably a mile off beam and it's nothing to worry about but couldn't not say...
BW
Hayles

Yes, I do know what you mean.

But really, I feel they'd have no grounds whatsoever in this case.

I know we hear some horror stories about SS but, generally speaking, they have too heavy a workload to take a well adjusted, healthy, and obviously happy child into care, I'd have thought.

However, if they so wished, they can investigate away - we have nothing to hide.

The school's reaction is another point to ponder though.

I imagine any problems that did arise would have more to do with dd telling it to someone in a particularly bad way though, as they do!! :rotfl:

Ellie2758

No, I wouldnt leave a 15 year old alone overnight, even without the 6 year old in tow. It's just not worth it. What if word gets around school that she is on her own at home and some kids decide it would be fun to prank call her or worse?

bestpud

Ellie2758 wrote: »

No, I wouldnt leave a 15 year old alone overnight, even without the 6 year old in tow. It's just not worth it. What if word gets around school that she is on her own at home and some kids decide it would be fun to prank call her or worse?

DD1 leaves school next month, when she also turns 16. It would be after that by the time everything was sorted.

If she was to have problems, she would phone one of the three relatives, or her dad, who would be just a couple of minutes away (literally).