Chance of being pregnant - do I go ahead with it? How do benefits work

daphne_descends

Why don't you get a job now so you can receive maternty pay?

Sarahsaver

There is as has been said before a REMOTE chance!
I have been trying to conceive since last Feb (2007) and am only just now 15 weeks pg after a miscarriage last year.
If you want children then plan for it because you may, as I did, get time to get your finances in order first;)

TAG

bloomin_freezing wrote: »

Number 2) Your user name suggest you are a mother already, if you are so flippant to say you'll abort this pregnancy (MAP is an abortion of pregnancy, even though its not an 'Abortion') .

This is a pretty harsh statement. It's not an abortion of pregnancy. It works by either stopping ovulation or altering the lining of the womb to stop a fertilized egg implanting. If your already pregnant it won't work anyway.

lottee

sarahl1983 wrote: »

Concerning work i think it's best if you don't for the first 3 years if you can then go back part time cos there is free childcare 5 morning/afternoons each week.

Hmm, I would be interested to know why you think it is 'best' not to work for the first 3 years? I have worked (like a lot of other mothers) since DS was 3 mths old, he is now a well adjusted, polite (albeit the devil in disguise at times!) 5 year old. Not only did I return to work due to financial reasons - but for my own sanity!

Re the free childcare, are you referring to the few hours govt funded playschool sessions? Most people would be fairly pushed to find employment to fit around the 9 - 12 or 1 -3 sessions my DS attended. (ie, including time for pick-up & drop-off, you'd need working hours of 9:30ish - 11:30ish)

bestpud

Hmmm, that's a tough question to ask on an internet forum. And one which, ultimately, only you and your OH can answer.

My feeling is you have doubts and hoped a pregnancy would answer that for you. As in you thought an 'accidental' pregnancy may suddenly dissolve all the worries you had about having a child?

But, in reality, you're now still undecided, but frightened too?

Your entitlement depends on so many factors and things change anyway - we are talking nine months ahead here.

I'm assuming your OH works and as such, the figures you have quoted are on top of his income? If he is on a low income, you will get tax credits etc and help if you go back to work.

If you already have a child, as your user name suggests, you will have less outlay for the second. Plus, they don't have to be expensive anyway.

What does your OH want to do?

doodlehumlucysmum

Hi all,

Thanks for all your replies and not being judgemental - i understand that this may be offensive to some people who don't agree with the M.A.P or those who would like to have the chance of being pregnant.

As some people have mentioned just because i would be ovulating doesn't necessarily mean that anything would have happend i guess that there is always that chance and just wanted to be on the safe side.

I was speaking to my partner about this last night (we've been together 5 years if any one was wondering) and he said the same as me. Basically emotionally and family wise we do want a little one (or a few more) but are both a bit scared that we would be good parents and worried about finance. IT really is a life changing experience! Thanks to the people who pointed out that i will need to look further into what would be a realistic income.

After lots of thinking and a few tears I decided to take the morning after pill. As i left is a while the pharmacist told me that there would be only a 35-40% chance of it working. I do feel guitly but I do feel a bit better for trying to be sensible. I do hope that iit doesnt. if it does then i think i will be upset but atleast then i can spend more time paying of debts and consider/prepare other baby things to sort out.

I largely crave a family - my family consists of my sister a neice and nephew may partner and the dog (my partners mum and sister live in wales) so not the hugest family in thw world. I cant wait for the days when i can a bit more of a family to spend days with and do the family thing with.

BTW, I was on the pill untill October and lucy (in my name) is my dog

thanks again, I wonder how i'll be feeling in 4 weeks time....

Carmina_Piranha_3

i thought lucy was your dog and was surprised at people not reading your post.

was having unprotected sex around your ovulation time unplanned? i think some posts have been unnecessarily harsh when it may have simply been a split condom for example, rather than you deliberately trying to get pregnant.

i have taken the morning after pill and it made my hormones go a bit wonky, so don't be surprised if you get tearful or moody. warn your OH to be on hand with chocolate and cuddles i realise that some people think the MAP is similar to an abortion but i just didn't see it that way.

as for future planning - are you working at the moment? what figures did you put into entitledto? did you put in an amount for childcare costs? play around with the numbers and see what it gives you. i assume the £27 you mention is child benefit and the family element of child tax credits. children don't have to cost more than £27 a week, if you started a thread you'd get lots of advice on how to have a baby on the cheap. but as has been said, if you were both working you might a fair proportion of the childcare bill paid for you. and if you're not working now and won't be after having a baby then there's no loss of income, just an £87 per week gain which is pretty huge really.

badmumof1

the title of this thread annoyed me
'chance of being pregnant-do i go ahead with it? How do benefits work?

this suggests to me that if you got enough money off the state you would have the baby if you are pregnant.

benefits are a stop gap not a way of living.

vaio

fac73 wrote: »

Why don't you get a job now so you can receive maternty pay?

From all the small employers out there "thank you"

sarahl1983

lottee wrote: »

Hmm, I would be interested to know why you think it is 'best' not to work for the first 3 years? I have worked (like a lot of other mothers) since DS was 3 mths old, he is now a well adjusted, polite (albeit the devil in disguise at times!) 5 year old. Not only did I return to work due to financial reasons - but for my own sanity!

Re the free childcare, are you referring to the few hours govt funded playschool sessions? Most people would be fairly pushed to find employment to fit around the 9 - 12 or 1 -3 sessions my DS attended. (ie, including time for pick-up & drop-off, you'd need working hours of 9:30ish - 11:30ish)

I chose not to work when i had my son, i did get benefits and why not if i was entitled to them. I work now and i'm paying taxes so in the long run i'll be paying a lot more back than what i got back then.
Some people live off tax payers money all there life and there's nothing wrong with them and they claim sick or take drugs that's what bothers me.
If you want to have a baby have one even if you have to not work.
I was a single mum when i had my son and didn't get back with his dad til my son was 2 due to personal reasons.

And 3 years is how old your child has to be to get the free child care. It is mornings or afternoons it's not 2 hour sessions. Most nurseries open at 7am and close at 6pm. The cut off time for morning sessions is 12:30pm. So it's up to 5and a half hours a day. I work for 4 hours whilst my son is in school now and employers do have to be flexible in most cases if you have children. After 26 weeks working you can apply for flexible working and if they refuse which is rare they have to give a valid reason and you can appeal. This is how i got my hours in work. The 26 weeks applies to maternity pay too.