Chance of being pregnant - do I go ahead with it? How do benefits work

doodlehumlucysmum

Hi all,

First of sorry I'm not too sure where to post this.

This is my situation:

I've been broody for quite a while i tried to be sensible and got a dog instead and as much as i love her she hasn't cured it. Anyhow, there is quite a high chance that i would have concieved the otherday due to ovulation etc.

I'm been umming and erring all day whether to get the Morning after pill or not (sorry if this causes offence to anyone)

Emotionally my partner and I are fine with this but i'm really worried financial wise.

I looked on entiteld to which said i'd be entitled to £87 p/w if i didn't work or
£27 if i did work. This barely pays the rent.

Is there anything I am missing finance wise as i think affordablilty is going to have to be the decider.

Sorry if i seem cold hearted but am trying to stay away from the emotional side of things.

Also we have debt and repayments so am worried about how these would paid.

I'm not sure if id be able to work if that makes sense eg cost of childcare but i couldn't afford not to work - very confusing!

thanks for any advice.

Mrs_A_4

Only you can make this decision.

However, make it quickly - the morning-after pill works up to 72 hours after but gets much less effective as every hour passes!

Sarahsaver

I had the MAP once and it did not work.
Whatever people say, terminations are hard to get over emotionally, but then again if you have a child it is yours for life.
babies do NOT cost loads, and if you are broody that feeling may not go away, maybe you may as well go with it, because the broodiness will come back.
dogs are an unnecessary extravagance IMHO unless you need one for loneliness, security, assistance etc. which i know will upset the dog lovers but if you are staying away from the emotional think of the practical!
if you are entitled to tax credits and your income is low enough you would get 70% of childcare costs paid.
Surely the £87 pw would not be yours and your partners joint income?
I am in the situation of not being able to go back to work after my baby is born (it would cost too much - we fall JUST outside the bracket for help with childcare) - and I am very happy about that! I would rather bring up my baby than rush back into work like I did after my other children.
Whatever you decide best of luck.

sassybooboos

dont think of the money if you want the baby have one.

its true what they say you manage.

i thought i wouldn't be able to afford a child, its hard cause you have to give up a lot but im glad ive got her.

Nicifer_noonoo

doodlehumlucysmum wrote: »

I looked on entiteld to which said i'd be entitled to £87 p/w if i didn't work or
£27 if i did work. This barely pays the rent.

I'm not sure if id be able to work if that makes sense eg cost of childcare but i couldn't afford not to work - very confusing!

thanks for any advice.

You should be able to afford to work - Working Families Tax Credit will pay up to 85% of your childcare bills.

I'm not sure about the benefits - I'm single and currently pregnant with my first, but not entitled to anything at all because I'm a student. No doubt somebody will be along soon to advise you better on this side

And I really don't mean to sound patronising (which this undoubtably will, for which I'm sorry), but if the finance side of it is really worrying you, you should consider using some method of contraception until you have found out everything you need to put your mind at rest and are 100% sure you want to go ahead and have a baby. The last thing a relationship and a baby need is a worried, stressed mum!!!

bloomin_freezing

Firstly, just because you have ovulated doesn't mean you have fallen pregnant, there's only a 20% chance

Number 1) Entitled to isn't that exact, does your partner work, why do you say what benefits you'd get wouldn't cover the rent? Surely he needs a new job?

Number 2) Your user name suggest you are a mother already, if you are so flippant to say you'll abort this pregnancy (MAP is an abortion of pregnancy, even though its not an 'Abortion')

Number 3) If you've been feeling broody, relish the fact, if you are pregnant, its a very lucky thing, money shouldn't really come into it. I am about to start ttc with my partner for our 2nd child, we aren't millionaires but we will manage.

sorry, but if you're that worried that financially you can't cope, and falling pregnant would be awful, go get yourself a coil, or a contraceptive injection, or even still, more simpler THE PILL and some CONDOMS and you shouldn't have this worry in future. If you knew this was your time to OV don't have sex at this time. Its easy to understand. There are far too many irresponsible people in this world already that are bearing life to innocent children.

ceridwen

Get that Morning After Pill pronto (as in this second!).

Then sit down and work out for sure and certain whether BOTH you and your husband want another child on the one hand - and whether you can afford it on the other hand.

It seriously doesnt make sense to choose to have an "accident".

aliasojo

Hard decision to make.

FWIW.....if it were me, the financial aspect would be the deciding factor in deciding whether to have a baby in the first place or not. By that I mean when you are not pregnant and just discussing whether to get pregnant.

BUT.......now you are past that stage and there is a baby on it's way (assuming you are actually pregnant that is). I think it's too late to think about what if's. I now think it's time to think about how to's.

When it comes down to it though, no-one can make this decision for you and although it helps to talk........we dont know you or your life so our input is as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Mmmmmmm....chocolate.......*drifts off* .....:o sorry.

What I do know, is there is never a right time to have a baby and you always manage somehow.

Good luck.

sarahl1983

Hi i'm new to this but i had to post i hope you don't mind.
Firstly would you regret taking the morning after pill if you did?
And if you had your baby would you be able to sacrifice certain things?
Might sound silly but would you love him/her?
I fell pregnant with my son at 18 gave birth 19, all i knew was that i'd love him and be able to care for him, it was hard at times but he always had more than he ever needed, i didn't go out anymore because my money was for me and my son not to waste on a night out when being at home was more important.

The debt you have will be ok just explain your situation and they can't say no to whatever you offer them, i'm on a scheme thing paying all mine off and my payments will be lowered when we have another baby.

Concerning work i think it's best if you don't for the first 3 years if you can then go back part time cos there is free childcare 5 morning/afternoons each week.
It all depends what hours you partner works and how much he earns, if you're stuck see the jobcentre and they should do a calculation of how much you'd get if you worked and how much if you didn't with all benefits included too. Or call the tax credits and ask them they do it over the phone.

If you want a baby have a baby at the end of the day happiness is all that matters and having a family is better than any amount of money and you will be ok.

Nicifer_noonoo

sarahl1983 wrote: »

Concerning work i think it's best if you don't for the first 3 years if you can then go back part time cos there is free childcare 5 morning/afternoons each week.

Child care before that is highly subsidised - I'm going back to University when my son is 3 months old. It's personal choice, but I want him to see from an early age that education and hard work are the way to get ahead in life.

squashy

Emotionally my partner and I are fine with this

This answers your question. You will manage. You might have to make a few cutbacks, but you will be able to feed and clothe your baby. As long as you have love to give it too!