OS Daily, Wednesday 2nd April 2008

HariboJunkie

Good luck with the move Mellika.

Smoky, I see you're online. How are you pet?

Churchmouse

Haribo, do you have eyes, or spies everywhere:rotfl: :rotfl:

But yes, smokybabe, how are you doing?

smokybabe

Hi guys,

I have finally filled in a tax credit's form as they had cancelled the claim that we had. It has taken hours as they have altered the way the childcare is calculated (this year I hope) otherwise oops. Trying to find all the figures on 3 different providers for 06/07 and then work it out has left me with a mega headache, thb I gave up in the end and listed all I had paid and asked them to work it out over a weekly period. I hope someone sympathetic gets it.

The last few days have involved filling in forms and lots of phonecalls and I have a meeting with the financial adviser to sort out over the mortgage. Our mortgage is with Northern Rock and I don't think that they will let me continue with the mortgage as I will have to reduce my hours to part time (The benefits office have been more than helpful calculating all that I will be entitled to and have worked out that I will be better off by £126 a week if I can work 16 hours a week. All in the name of keeping the house)
So it leaves me officially part time - Job willing, in receipt of widows benefit, tax credits and child benefit. There is a small pension from Eric's old job and much doubt over whether an insurance taken out back in 2000 will pay up as they were concerned over his heart back then - that one is in the lap of the Gods - We couldn't get him insured for the mortgage because of his heart.

I doubt N.R. will take the risk as there is still 97k outstanding on this and I have to be truthful with myself here too - I have no guarantee that I will not be ill and unable to pay over the next 23 years. It is increasingly begining to look like a millstone around my neck and at least if I was renting somewhere and fell ill I would get housing benefit. I would not be trying to find £600 a month before anything else and that is on a fixed rate of 4.9% God alone knows what it will be when that is up. Anyway Steve will get in touch when he has spoken to them and then - well we will see.

I went up to his grave on Sunday and this was really distressing, I know he is not there but I suppose I was looking for some comfort. Maybe it's too early.

The kids are plodding on with me, DS1 is still tearful but I am noticing that he is happier to give and receive hugs and kisses, DD is quiet at times but she gets her share of hugs and kisses. I do try not to cry in front of them all as she especially seems to be feeding off it and becomes equally as distressed. DS2 - well he is still drawing pictures for daddy and I tell him that daddy can see them from heaven, he tells me that daddy is dead but at 3 and a half he has no clear understanding and I tell him that daddy has gone to live with the angels but will always be looking down on him.

It is hard as I wake up in tears and then have to try and swich off until I get them to bed so a lot of the time it feels like I am in limbo. Thank goodness only 5 more days until they go back to school and then I can have some time for myself.

Anyway sorry for the long one, I hope you are all O.K.

Smoky.

HariboJunkie

You're very brave to be tackling the financial stuff smoky. My heart goes out to you and the children. Keep in touch with us when you can. Someone is always here to listen xxxxxxxx

lyndseyann

smoky, never apologise-were here for you.you are very brave.Lots of love(((hugs))) to you and you children and your in in our thoughts x x

smokybabe

HariboJunkie wrote: »

You're very brave to be tackling the financial stuff smoky. My heart goes out to you and the children. Keep in touch with us when you can. Someone is always here to listen xxxxxxxx

To be honest it's a case of having to. As he was ill and on IB for so long we had no reserves left, if I don't sort it we start sliding in to debt.

Thank you for all your pm's by the way, you and everyone else have been wonderful with your support and I truly do appreciate it. xxxx

Churchmouse

(((((((smoky))))))))) you are doing so well.

It seems so wrong that you have to deal with all this paperwork at this terrible time of grief. I hope things work out the best they can for you, and if best is leaving the house then so be it. Wiser people than me will help you with that.

You know your children better than anyone, so you know how best to comfort them, but don't forget your own needs. Sometimes that will mean crying in front of them, even if at the time they seem more distressed, at least they know grown-ups have inconsolable sadness too. Your love for each other will keep you going. I have to say I'm glad DS1 is having some hugs now, I often think society places extra burdens on boys and men, they are somehow expected to *cope* better, and hide their feelings.

Thanks for updating us, you know you're never far from my thoughts. Take care, love CM xx

HariboJunkie

smokybabe wrote: »

To be honest it's a case of having to. As he was ill and on IB for so long we had no reserves left, if I don't sort it we start sliding in to debt.

Thank you for all your pm's by the way, you and everyone else have been wonderful with your support and I truly do appreciate it. xxxx

Well I still think you're brave. I would be doing my famous ostrich impersonation.

whatatwit

Hugs (((smoky)))

Well done for tackling the forms and all the necessary things, I really think you are doing the right thing by being involved. At least when you have the next lot to do, they won't be quite so daunting and if there any questions that occur, you will feel far more able to reply.

I suppose with the house and the mortgage, you can but see how things go and explore all of your options.

Take care and keep hugging those babies.

Love The Twit :grouphug:

meanmarie

Smoky...you are doing really well, it is a shame all the paperwork that needs doing at present, but it is probably helping you to keep going, hope that you are sleeping and at least getting some time to yourself.

Have you checked if you have any type of mortgage protection...every little thing helps and we are not always aware of what we have...we have just found a policy on my mother's life that we knew nothing about and she died in 1994! Everything you can lay your hands on will help.

Night all

Marie