SKI-er or Sk-ater. We know how to enjoy ourselves

Savvy_Sue

Merrywidow wrote: »

I have been grounded recently as my mother, at 98, looks like she is ready for the great knitting circle in the sky.:( She is tough and although the cancer is now taking hold she has fought it all the way. The head honcho at the home told me to go to Holland as it was impossible to guage when the end could come and in her opinion she is just likely to pass away in her sleep.

So sorry to hear about your mum, it's very stressful isn't it?

just wanted to say there were a couple of threads a few months ago on the Families board about the process of dying, and it often seems that people will 'let go' when they are left on their own. You may well know this already, but say your goodbyes and leave with a clear conscience, if she goes when you are away then it may be that she didn't want to go while you were there, if that makes sense.

curlytop12

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Spending Kids' Inheritance (SKI-er) and Spending Kash And Thoroughly Enjoying Results ( SK-ater - for those without children).

thankyou.and good on you all.don't believe in this"keeping it for the kids".
am trying to persuade my parents to go travelling more whilst they are still fit enough(only in their 60's)but sibling sying they should "save for their old age"????

Savvy_Sue

gem68 wrote: »

am trying to persuade my parents to go travelling more whilst they are still fit enough(only in their 60's)but sibling sying they should "save for their old age"????

To be fair, I think there's a balance to be struck here.

I agree that while they're fit enough they should go travelling or do whatever it is they would enjoy doing, but at the same time I know that I'd rather have something saved for my old age, in that I'd rather be able to pay to maintain my independence and choices rather than have whatever the local authority thinks it can afford.

Having said that, it's actually a small percentage of people who end up in residential care homes, so not a problem for as many of us as the media would have us believe.

Another intelligent use of money at their age is to future proof their home, or move somewhere future proof.

The sensible option for my parents, when they were in their 60s, would have been to downsize to a property which would be manageable in a time of reduced mobility. They managed the downsize, but chose a property with 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen diner, separate dining room, lounge and study. Not only that, but the access through either front or back door is very awkward: no way would you get a wheelchair in. Then there's a change of floor level, not a step exactly, between kitchen and lounge. They had a stairlift put in, and Mum has a bath lift (she doesn't like showers).

It was also the 'wrong' side of town to where one of my siblings lived: if it had been the 'right' side then their grandchildren could have popped in after school / taken meals round etc etc etc.

In its favour, there was a level walk to a nearby shop (which is now too far for Mum to walk), and a good bus service practically on the doorstep (now much reduced!) Where they lived before was at the top of a hill, with no shops within their walking distance, although there was a bus stop practically on the doorstep.

By the end of his life, Dad wanted to move again but couldn't cope with what's involved. They did look at a few sheltered housing flats, but Mum said the kitchens were far too small, even though she rarely seems to cook from scratch, and feeds other people even more rarely.

seven-day-weekend

Well said Savvy Sue.

Our next move is to sell our Spanish house (we have had it eight years this year) - although it is lovely and we love the village and the people, it was never meant to be a permanent move and we already do half and half. We don't want to live here if we are old and frail, nor do we want to have to undertake the sale and move in that state.

Our Spanish house is great, but it has three floors, three sets of stairs, large rooms and three more bedrooms than we need. So last week we put it up for sale so that we can move on to the next step of our lives.

Although we have a house in the UK, what we would like to do is leave that house as it is, with our son, his girlfriend and his lodger living in it, and buy ourselves an apartment in a nearby develpment with the proceeds of the Spanish house sale. We have owned a flat in this development before (as an investment property) so we know that we like them; they are very popular, they are two bedroom and totally suitable for us, and if we get the price we want for the Spanish house, will be affordable.

Here is a link to our house, if you know anyone who might be interested!

http://www.alpujarraspropertydirectory.com/3-and-5-calle-gerald-brenan-yegen-la-alpujarra-for-sale

Errata

SDW - it looks lovely, I hope you manage to sell it quickly.
I downsized in my late '50's, when I found a HA property that ticked all the boxes I thought I would need for it to be future-proof. 1 bedroom bungle with gardens (now all low maintenance), good size sitting room and kitchen, new bathroom, off street parking, CH/DG/CWI, and tucked away in a corner in a small village. Bliss - so I invested (Skated!) in a conservatory a couple of years ago which added to the bliss.
A flat would have suited me just as well, but I need to get outside into my own garden.

seven-day-weekend

Thanks Errata, I'm confident that the first person through the door will buy it. We're hoping the address will encourage people as Gerald Brenan is very popular in these parts, he was the first British expat to live here in the 1920s and he wrote a book about Yegen which is still selling now (South from Granada). He was a member of the Bloomsbury group and rubbed shoulders with the likes of Virginia Woolf and Lytton Strachey, who both visited him here in Yegen, rode on donkeys and used toilets that were just a hole in the floor into the stable below.

The main reason we want one of the flats is so that we DON'T have a garden (there isn't one with the Spanish house). We have a lovely garden with our UK house which we enjoy when we go there, but we intend to rent somewhere sunny and warm for a couple of months in the winter, and go on various holidays, so we want a place we can just lock up and leave.

As I say,we know the development we want, and the ground floor flats have patio doors or french windows opening onto the well-kept communal gardens, that is one of the reasons we like them.

Keep everything crossed!

Your place sounds good! (What's CWI?)

pollypenny

Three excellent posts. We are tempted to move somewhere we can just lock up and go - usually to stay with DS in Florida.

We have a big bungalow at present - lovely and manageable, except that we fill a house that had two children too. It's the big garden which could become a problem.

Errata

Sorry - CWI = cavity wall insulation, makes a big difference.
Confession time - my back garden is 120' long, so I had the bottom half fenced off. It gets mown 3 times a year (not by me) and the wildlife can do what they want in it. The half nearest the house is decked, shingled, conservatoried, with a few flower beds and pots of 'stuff'.
It's all worked out very well, as for the past year I haven't been able to do any trips or days out anywhere and it's been perfect for staycations.

tanith

We already downsized when we bought this house its only two bedrooms with a managable garden but what we didn't consider was OH's growing desire for countryside/seaside or the fact that we have no space/money for a downstairs bathroom should it become necessary. So now OH is pushing me to look for suitable locations near the sea which I would love but in the back of mind is the thought of both my daughters living in London with all my grandchildren (son lives abroad) and something I don't even want to think about let alone voice is the fact that both OH's parents died at 62 of strokes and one of his brothers has angina at 54. OH is fit and healthy at 60 AFAIK but I can't help this nagging voice in my head telling me to stay put. Its very disconcerting and as I say I don't want to voice my thoughts..

Errata

Would a caravan near the coast be a solution?