Today I tell my husband...

mrs_lady

This is my first post on here and I have to tell my husband today (in about an hour!) that I (we) are in debt. All told it probably adds up to less than £10,000. I know there is no money left in the bank. I am so scared. He is a lovely man and I have ruined anything. I am worried he will leave me. I am hoping he will take control. I know that sounds bad of me, but I cannot see a way out anymore. Wish me luck.

SemperFi

Good luck!

StephLaceDan

Good luck with that

wymondham

he might already know and be waiting to help you ...... good luck I'm sure it will be fine..

bored_of_debt

Best of luck! The sooner you tell him the better so well done for deciding to tell him now and not 'tomorrow'.

Bunnyinthelights

Mrs Dan,
Best of luck-It may be difficult but I did the same thing 2.5 years ago with my husband but I was in debt 5x your amount.

Have you got a plan of action to deal with it?
I found by having an idea of how I was going to deal with it, it somewhat help to lessen the blow.

We're thinking of you.

x

TryingHard_2

Good luck and (((((hugs))))) to you.

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi Mrs Lady, I'm sure he'll be upset with you at first, but that will probably be shock, if he knows absolutely nothing about it.
Surely you didn't spend ALL of the money by yourself, so he will have to take some of the blame, even if the only thing he is to blame for is leaving you to deal with it all on your own.
If he is as lovely as you say he is, which I'm sure he is, he will after the initial shock, calm down & come onboard to help you clear it, you will find it so much easier to handle the debt, when you are both working together.
I wish you lots of luck, well done on telling him, it will be a great weight lifted from your shoulders.

mrs_lady

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Have you got a plan of action to deal with it?

Not exactly, he hates the thought of loans and things. We remortgaged once before to pay for home improvements ( I was debt free then), but he didn't like the idea. I have an arrangment with CCCS but that needs seriously updating, other than that I think we need a loan. My credit is bad, I just hope we can sort it. I am ill with worry.

ampersand

mrs_lady wrote: »

This is my first post on here and I have to tell my husband today (in about an hour!) that I (we) are in debt. All told it probably adds up to less than £10,000. I know there is no money left in the bank. I am so scared. He is a lovely man and I have ruined anything. I am worried he will leave me. I am hoping he will take control. I know that sounds bad of me, but I cannot see a way out anymore. Wish me luck.

####################
Not only do we all wish you luck, but can guarantee you are making your own and needing NONE, by coming here.
I see you are local-ish, as is Wymondham - so WELCOME again, both of you.
mrs lady - YOU can take control and feel redeemed by doing this yourself.
First step is COMMUNICATION.
Next, call one of the Debt Counselling Services - you will gain in every respect, most importantly, self-respect AND HUSBAND'S, if you do this and decide how you can truly become debt-free.
You'll need to write more about how the situation has come about, along with SOI etc. and others will be along to help.
Your post suggests you either feel, or are, entirely responsible for your present turmoil. Any triggers for this? or just a general sliding down into a dark place, from which spending brought distraction?(the Law of Diminishing Return)
Have you been hiding post/window envelopes? Do you think husband has no idea at all?
It's almost a clich! here, but eternally true: YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Cup of tea or coffee, big breath and start..........THEN COME BACK HERE.
Kindest thoughts to you both.
#########
Apologies to op's and my duplication, also to you mrs lady, as I see you have started to expand on your situ.
You have a headstart in that you already have a link with the CCCS - we have many here who need days of support and kindly urging before they can even make this first call, so use this strength which you have already shown, which is already at your disposal.
Call them again.

Bunnyinthelights

When you say you have an agreement with CCCS-are you on a DMP already?
Did you get more credit whilst you were on the DMP?