WHY can't anything ever go RIGHT???

immoral_angeluk

Snaggles wrote: »

Aww hun, sorry I've not been around much over the last few days. I haven't got much to add to what people have already said really, but it's crap when life seems to gang up on you.

I spent 9 months of my maternity leave stressing that I wouldn't be able to fit in going back to work because of the problems with childcare for Ryan, and not being able to wean Natasha, and to be honest I feel pretty annoyed with myself now that I used up so much energy being so stressed about it, when I could have just relaxed, enjoyed the time off, and taken things as they came.

Have I understood the problem right? Your training starts before Ashli starts 'school', and then also you wont have childcare for her through the holidays?

Can't the nursery that K is going to take her when she can't go to school? It would cost more, but tax credits would cover most of that wouldn't it?

They're both going to the same nursery. Tax credits will cover up to 80% of it but thats a set amount each week.. when Ash doesn't get the funding (outside term time) we'll have to pay full fees.

Snaggles

She wants to do it because life as a full time, stay at home mum isn't what she wants in the long term (and this doesn't mean she doesn't love her girls with every fibre of her being.....remember her sig saying 'I never knew what loving someone so much it hurts meant until I had children'???).

She wants a career doing something she is good at, and volunteering with the CAB is a good route into that career.

It's easy to say 'a mothers place is at home with her children', but the fact is that for the majority of people these days, it's just not possible or practical.

Fifty years ago, if you were at home all day, all the other Mums in the street would be at home too - there was a community you could be part of.

These days it can isolating and lonely, especially for a woman who (and I hope you will forgive me for saying this IA, because I certainly don't think of you as childish in any way) is barely out of her teens.

She wants a life....and she wants to give her girls a better and more secure life than she has had. I think she should be applauded for that.

immoral_angeluk

affordmylife wrote: »

keeping motivated - that is just my personal feeling - im sorry if it offends.

i believe a mothers place is at home when the children are under school age unless they are with either their dad or granny or something.

of course there are tons of people who put their children into childcare but i dont have to think its the right thing.

they are only home for a few short years - i say make the most of it. they are all too soon grown.

i was trying to suggest (perhaps not very well and for that i apologise) that an evening job which would actually bring in some money and fit around husbands hours would be more practical than trying to do something voluntary at inconvenient hours.

I've been trying to find evening/weekend jobs. There's nothing around at all.. nothing regular anyway. Plus there's the whole worry that I'll never see Ste.

to be fair I don't know what to do anymore.

floss2

affordmylife wrote: »

i was trying to suggest (perhaps not very well and for that i apologise) that an evening job which would actually bring in some money and fit around husbands hours would be more practical than trying to do something voluntary at inconvenient hours.

I-A has been trying to find a part-time job....ANY part-time job...but has had very little luck with the number of jobs available in her area. The voluntary work is not inconvenient hours, it's daytime training, and I-A has suddenly found out that the nursery's funding for her elder daughter is not what she'd been told by the nursery.

Snaggles

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

They're both going to the same nursery. Tax credits will cover up to 80% of it but thats a set amount each week.. when Ash doesn't get the funding (outside term time) we'll have to pay full fees.

You can include the extra holiday childcare in your claim.

You just work out 39 weeks (term time) at the normal amount, 13 weeks at the increased amount (to cover both of them being there through the holidays), add them together and divide by 52 for the weekly amount.

It wont give you the cash as a lump sum during each holiday, but it will give you a higher amount throughout the whole year, so you can put some of it away in savings to cover the weeks when you need to pay more.

Keeping_Motivated

Affordmylife I was not offended, I stayed at home with my child until she went to school but I understand people have different circumstances etc and what is right for me may obviously not be right for sofmeone else I wouldn't dream of making them feel guilty for not doing as I did.

I just felt that IA is feeling a little low and it seemed a little harsh the way you put your opionion across but I agree you are entitled to your opinion :-)

immoral_angeluk

Have totted up the childcare costs month to month (roughly)

april £256.72
may £303.26
June £276.80
July .£312.08
august £365.00

What with the no guaranteed income from Ann summers etc I'm not sure if we can afford to pay that much during the holidays... and that's just for the 2 days I'd be doing cab in the holidays!

(Land_of)_Maz

See i knew Snags would come to the rescue!!!

I can see both sides of the debate completely here Sar. but only you know what the problem really is... what has made you feel like this today?

Because the first nursery sessions are outwith term time so not funded and you think you can't afford them? - you know you could if you set your mind to it!!! prioritise....

Or is it something else that has tipped the scales?

Egg?
Ste's job?

I think you should kick OU out of touch as it is not commited right now and it's one less thing to worry about for now. - in my humble opinion only.

Everything else is do-able and manageable when you get your positive attitude back.

I know where Affordmy life is coming from though, it speaks volumes for you that you want to volunteer when you haven't got spare cash. I view it as a postive thing in your favour.

floss2

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I've been trying to find evening/weekend jobs. There's nothing around at all.. nothing regular anyway. Plus there's the whole worry that I'll never see Ste.

to be fair I don't know what to do anymore.

Take a step back, hug the girls, and take yourselves off to the park or if the weather is too bad, put a fitness DVD on so you can all have a work-out.

Then talk to Ste tonight, and enjoy your girls - your time with them will go so quickly & before you know it they'll be growing up. My DS1 will soon be the same age that I was when he was born - the same age as you are now.

You will be able to start your career planning & preparation soon...but maybe not so soon.

:grouphug:

Floss xx

affordmylife

it does speak volumes that you want to do voluntary work sar (may i call you that?) but i just wondered if in your current financial position whether that would be the best thing to be heading for.

those childcare figures are terrible arent they.

i totally understand you wanting a better future for your family im just not sure it is completely possible right now.

sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture and a little further into the future.

do you actually want to go back to work or do you feel you should.

i know you budget brilliantly already but is there anyway you could manage to stay at home for a bit longer without earning any money.

do you have any hopes and dreams as what you would like to do in the future?