WHY can't anything ever go RIGHT???

immoral_angeluk

barnaby-bear wrote: »

Maybe one session a week just for the six weeks - people there probably have holidays and childcare issues with the hols too, so they maybe a bit pressed to fit training in too....

Apparently it's got to be a minimum of 2 3 hours sessions a week... (which is what I signed up for..)

moonlightpjs

Hi Sar
Just a quick post and forgive me for butting in but is it not worth having a word with Cab to see if you could start in September - IIRC Ash starts Nursery then and you would only have to find the money to get K funded in Nursery and maybe that would give you enough time to find a job that you really want to do/fits the hours you want/pays enough etc etc and if you did find a job in the meantime then you would obviously get 80% of the childcare paid by the Tax Credits.

This way it leaves you some breathing space and have a goal set up - ie: start at Cab and have a new job by September I know its not ideal as you want to work at the moment but ifs its just not working out then perhaps it might be just an idea to step back and set your goals for September and even if the CAB say they need somebody now, I am sure they will always want somebody with your skills so I wouldn't worry about getting a job there - they are always crying out for staff.

At the moment you are getting some wages from Argos and possibly the pub and whos to say that after you have been at Argos for a while they won't offer you more hours if you make it known (again and again) that you are looking for 16 hours - just keep pushing. I am sure it will be getting busier with Easter/Spring Bank/Summer Holidays coming up.

Just a thought, sorry if its the wrong one

Gemmzie

Could you do one six hours session?

devonsdreamer

We have a CAB advisor work from the place I volunteer at and she takes holiday- and I also get holiday entitlment. So i would guess that even as a volunteer you would still get holiday leave- have you taken that into account?

RoxieW

Hi hon

I know you're down but you seem quite defensive in your answers. Have a cuppa, take some time out to read a mag or do something to refresh your mind - you're working yourself up and need to find some perspective.

Believe me - this life is simple for NOONE! You have lots of replies here that show you that others have been and are in the same position as you.
As i said earlier - i have been in this same position. I felt the same as you about being at home. I didn't feel 'complete' and wanted something that was an achievement of my own, away from being a 'mum'. I was offered my dream job in tv and took it. Selfishly - I'll admit it. It wasn't the best thing for my family (please dont take this to mean I'm suggesting the same for you!) and my two boys (the 2 and 4) went into full time childcare. It was very very difficult to juggle - but we did. Like you, i had no family to rely on. Yes, some people do and is wonderful for them but we didn't. Hubby had to pick up the slack. All his holidays were used for childcare. All our spare money went on childcare. Our days were very long, the juggling was very stressful, the children just wanted to be at home with mum and the financial benefits were just not worth it.
Even thou we made it work - there came a point where I thought, why am I putting myself through this? What am I trying to prove? In the end i sacked it in and became a SAHM again - and honesty, I loved my job. But with small children it just wasnt worth the upheaval. Now I'm really appreciating my time at home. I realised that i've got all my life to worry about work. And tbh - the novelty of being a working mum wore off pretty quickly!

I'm not saying you should give everything up. My 'dreams' weren't practical but I still went for them. But it meant alot of sacrifice from me, my kids, and hubby. It will be the same for you and is always the case with working mums - you're not alone in that!

The issue with the nursery start date - can ste not take the time off work? If not then you have no choice but to pay for full priced sessions, find another nursery or put it off for now.

The issue with tax credits - tax credits are paying you extra for the holidays but its being averaged so paid to you monthly. If you cant afford to put away that extra for the holidays then you cant afford to do what you want to do unless you raise the money some other way.

I think my point is that things are always workable if you make enough sacrifices. But when do the sacrifices stop being worth it. I understand where you are coming from but there really is no rush with the CAB thing - even if you did the OU while at home and waited until the girls were at school would that be so bad? How old will you be then?
Time is on your side - all the things you want will come to you. Whether you make them happen sooner, or are happy to have patience is up to you but the y can and will happen!

duchy

As you have SOME hours with Argos already-could you not find enough hours from elsewhere. Tax credit is 16 hours but it doesn't have to be the SAME job. Doesn't even have to be PAYE-could be Avon for example (self employed) + Argos PAYE so long as your total hours worked are 16 or more.
I pm-ed you another solution which might work as a stop gap job from now until September- if CAB can defer your training until then ?

spud30

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

I just don't get why other parents can manage it but not me?

Loads of us struggle hun.

From our kids being 5 and 3, we've had no family at all to help. The way we manage is that DH got a job working nights, and I work days. As he comes home, I go out and as I go to bed, he's getting up and going to work. We never have the kids babysat, and havent had a night out together for around 7 years.

The big school holidays arent so bad nowadays because they are old enough to take care of themselves, but when they were younger, we staggered our holidays so that I had 2 weeks off, then I'd go back to work and he'd take 2 weeks off. The other 2 weeks he'd manage on very little sleep.

Would it be possible for you to find evening or night work somewhere? Even if it's not what you want to do long term, it would get you out of the house and using your noggin

immoral_angeluk

Options...

Carry on with original plan and hope we find some way of affording it.
Give up CAB, and ann summers and be stay at home mum.
Give up CAB but carry on with ann summers and hope they don't drop our tax credits too much.
Give up CAB, ann summers and get another *regular hours/income part time job* and have girls in nursery.


hmmmm. :think:

rayday2

There are more options but you are not prepared to consider them.

The main one people keep saying is wait a while till the children are in education and then go ahead with it. Whilst keeping an eye out for a part time job that can give you time away from the children some "grown up" time.

So you don't have to give up you just should wait!

immoral_angeluk

Sorry I didn't mean altogether I just meant those are my options at the moment.