!!!! hits fan

Keeping_Motivated

If he literally has £700 per month 'spare' could he 'lend' you some money to tide you over? It sounds like you did this for him when he was not working???

Also if you 'imagined' you had not bought (as he sees this as your 'fault') and you imagine you are still renting is £300 still enough even if renting???

Keeping_Motivated

Actually the more I think about it does he get a roof, heat, food, council tax etc etc etc all for the £300 per month??? Surely he knows that is wrong? Does he contribute to anything else at all????

optimisticbutstruggling

He will occasionaly give me a loan...ie on friday when he must have realised I was in trouble.... shaking,deathly pallor)he gave me a loan of £300 but wants it back asap.

He is very lucky...since I met him I have been helping him...I have paid solicitors bills (immigration etc) & always paid for 90% of everything including holidays.
He has a lovely standard of living while I feel ill with stress.When I told him the water bill had risen £45 on last year he laughed out loud as if to say "well i'm certainly not paying it" .
Something has got to give methinks....

suzialwaysbroke

Just a thought, to help with your vets bills, could you arrange for the vet to bill the ins co direct? I know that some practises are happy to do this & it would ease your troubles a little. Sorry not to have more constructive advice for the rest of your predicament, but would echo other posters about the amt. your OH is contributing - pretty poor show, I think.

Hope your kitten is on the mend,

love Suzi

optimisticbutstruggling

chevalier wrote: »

my comments are in blue

best of luck
chev

Thanks a lot for your advice ,I will have to redo SOA in detail to try to sort this.Once I have worked them out I think I will call CCCS .I think I will also call the bank again & hope for a more favourable response.

I have a repayment mortgage on a fixed rate for another 4 years...I will take your advice & try for payment holiday to help bridge the gap.
Thanks again x

Tustastic

optimisticbutstruggling wrote: »

Hiya,he doesnt earn as much as me about £1000 per month & he has no debts at all.He does not know of the extent of my debts but I have told him about the bills ,but he says it was my choice to buy a flat (in my name).He is changing jobs so hopefully should help out more....
The CCs spiralled 2 years ago when he was off sick for 4 months & I had to take money out of them to pay the rent as he had virtually zero income

I felt it was sensible as the mortgage was the same as we were paying rent....as i only bought 75% morgage & 25% rent I also have to pay £202 rent as well as £778 mort ......
Thanks for all the advice ..its really brilliant xx

Well done for posting and I hope the kitten is gradually getting better.
I agree with the suggestion to call FD back and say that you want to have a grown up polite conversation about finances with a qualified member of staff.
Why not look on the main MSE website (banking and saving tab at top of page) for advise about choosing a new bank account if you have problem debts.
Will you eventually get some of the costs reimbursed by the pet insurance company and how soon?
Has your OH paid you back now for the rent he didn't pay while he was off sick two years ago?
Leaving aside the subject of your debts, it sounds as though you and OH need to have a business meeting where all the household bills are laid out and discussed and you come to an agreement about how to share them. £300 a month towards the cost of running a home is what a very fond parent would charge a young adult son or daughter.
Last but not least, start a spending diary right away. You will find out where all your hard earned cash is going.
Edit to say that I now see from your recent posts where your cash has been going - on funding your OH. To put it mildly, he's not giving you a very good return on your investment. That £300 isn't a loan IMHO - it's minimal payback for past funding. If he asks for it back, try the globally understood body language of turning out empty pockets. I don't want to sound harsh - maybe he'll rise to the challenge of being there for you when you really need him.

Keeping_Motivated

Can I just say that while your OH is (in my opinion) paying way below what he should be that you also have some responsibilty in this. I mean you have allowed this to go on and obviously while you are willing to fund 90% of holidays, solicitors etc he is going to let you because he doesn't know any different if you see what I mean?

Do not mean to come across as harsh at all just wanted to point out we have a responsibilty too in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Can you tell him you will give him the £300 back as soon as you can and now you would like him to pay back the money for the solicitors at least?

optimisticbutstruggling

Hiya,thanks for this.The kitten was better but has had a small relapse ...another trip to vet this morning £44.I have claimed around £600 from Insurers but have been told another 4-6 weeks ! eek


Very perceptive description of my approach to collecting OHs contribution.
Youre right,debts aside he should pay more than £300...which is less than a quarter of the household bills.I'm way too nice....

optimisticbutstruggling

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Can I just say that while your OH is (in my opinion) paying way below what he should be that you also have some responsibilty in this. I mean you have allowed this to go on and obviously while you are willing to fund 90% of holidays, solicitors etc he is going to let you because he doesn't know any different if you see what I mean?

Do not mean to come across as harsh at all just wanted to point out we have a responsibilty too in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Can you tell him you will give him the £300 back as soon as you can and now you would like him to pay back the money for the solicitors at least?

Thanks,you are 100% right..I have to confront this asap x

Keeping_Motivated

Keep on the case with the pet insurance to very nicely keep reminding them you need the money asap as after all that is why you have insurance in the first place. Be very nice and you may be lucky and get a helpful operator who is willing/able to authorise it.