How much money to give as wedding gift?

calleyw

I know that when I go to a wedding or a party I like to take gift that is just me.

But to outright be balant and ask for so much money is just well off and personally would stop me from going.

I once went to a wedding and it had a wedding list on confetti so well expensive. We could just about to buy one cup and one saucer and that was about £30. Plus it cost us £120 for the night in a hotel and the fuel which was another £40 I was slightly miffed.

And they where students. So hardly need fancy china right away. I did like the couple though they where very nice.

When I got married 5 years ago, as we had lived together for 3 years and had bought our flat we did not ask or even mention presents. But my MIL always bought a bed for the couple. Which was handy as we could not afford to replace the one we had. And it was well old and broken. My parents gave me some cash not asked for.

Others asked and we said no nothing really. But broke down in the end and said if you must get us something X Y Z. All cheap stuff they could afford.

I felt gulity as I wanted them there and was not worried about presents. Because if I was I would had a huge wedding that I could not of afforded and invited one man and his dog and asked for money. Not my style.

Has anyone else noticed that a lot of couples when they get married all seem to be going somewhere fancy for there honeymoon like cuba, caribbean. Saw that while reading the wedding notices in my local paper. Where do they get the money. Oh yes Mr plastic.

My honeymoon three days travelling to telford across to portmerion down to cardiff and then home. Last of the big spenders or what :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

Loadsabob

chickadee wrote:

I know it sounds like whining but I had to get this off my chest. Hope nobody minds!

It doesn't sound like that at all - I HATE this, it winds me up the whole Hen-weekend thing, too. Who can afford that?? plus the increase in people having to taxi around all day as people choose more and more distant locations for their wedding.

And as for having guests pay for the honeymoon, that's outrageous!!!!! My friend is recently engaged, and is more interested in the honeymoon than either the wedding OR the marriage. She keeps saying "It's once in a lifetime" and wants to go somewhere totally exotic. Yes, it may be once in a lifetime, but doesn't mean you have to be paying for it for a lifetime! Friend or no friend, if she asks for cash towards it as a wedding present, I'll be telling her not to expect any from me...in no uncertain terms!

What is WRONG with people these days???!

Loadsabob

calleyw wrote:

My honeymoon three days travelling to telford across to portmerion down to cardiff and then home. Last of the big spenders or what :rotfl:
Calley

You made me smile! I know, I think a honeymoon is special because it's your first holiday together as man and wife, and I think there's something lovely about that, without having to fly to the moon or wherever!

Poppy9

My Honeymoon was funded by a £500 bank loan. We booked a last minute, don't know where you are going till you get there holiday in Majorca. We ended up in a lovely apartment in a 4* apart/hotel for 11 days. Cost per person was £111.

We had spent all our savings on our wedding as my parents could only afford to contribute a limited amount of money to wedding. This was fine as we were both working anyway. We had also bought our first house which was a shed! By the time we moved in after the wedding it still had no kitchen or carpets downstairs! We eventually fitted a new kitchen 1 year after the wedding - before that made do with a new sink and length of worktop hastily put up. We didn't even possess a credit card so no temptation there.

I did have a small wedding list if anyone asked for it. It just had the basics on there as we didn't have them i.e. kettle, toaster, sieve, tea towels etc. Some families clubbed together to buy presents which was lovely as we had sets of cassorole dishes and matching towels.

Asking for money is plain rude.

MissSunshine

My honeymoon three days travelling to telford across to portmerion down to cardiff and then home. Last of the big spenders or what

Thanks calleyw, we've been married 5 years too and people always think we're weird when i tell them we spent 4 days in Llandudno!! Dh was working in Libya at the time and was only home for 3 weeks, so he just wanted to eat british food!!!

As for wedding gifts we'd lived 'together' (if you can count being in Libya?), but there were those things that we'd never got round to buying, so did 2 lists one at argos, one at debenhams for those who wanted to buy a gift, but it wasn't compulsory, and certainly didn't ask for vouchers, just wanted them all to come and be a part of 'our day' :beer:

Unfortunately a lot of weddings seem to be about keeping up with the Jonses even if it does take forever to pay off!!!!

fairylights_2

Hooray! some text books and school meals for my mum's birthday - I've bought her a reading book too, so I hope she likes it! Thanks you guys!

Jet

Hi all,

I'm glad it's not just me that feels this way.

Can anyone tell me what the etiquette is for being "thanked" for the wedding gifts? My boss hasn't mentioned about the money I gave him for his wedding.

I'm a real stickler for thank you letters and make my poor 7 year old son and write thank you letters for every gift he receives. I also do this myself.

So, should I expect a 'Thank you' or am I being 'old fashioned'?

Poppy9

Jet wrote:

Hi all,

So, should I expect a 'Thank you' or am I being 'old fashioned'?

No not old fashioned just optimistic :rotfl: Ignorant, rude, selfish people who ask for money are unlikely to thank you.

Loadsabob

I love thank you letters, I was brought up to write them, and I find it so odd when my cousins never say a word about their gifts.

If you've been in the same room as your boss since his wedding, it's unforgivable that he hasn't mentioned it! I had a friend whose wedding I attended, and she sent out lovely little thank you notes to everyone, on homemade cards with a printed picture of her and her new husband on the wedding day. It was lovely.

I don't expect the earth, but to see you and not say anything?...for Heaven's sake!

Loadsabob

Just an afterthought for Jet, I'd be tempted to breezily ask him whether he had a nice wedding day, and how much money he raised!...