How much money to give as wedding gift?

Ally

Ohh the old 'not gifts please but money would be nice' request :rolleyes: I have a serious issue with this as everyone that I have known to get married in the past few years has made this request, and of all of them, only one couple made good use of the money, it paid for a fantastic holiday and a gift for all the wedding guests to show their appreciation for such a great gift. the others seemed to think that it would help pay for their wedding :eek: and two sets also said that they only had big weddings (large guest lists) to cash in .... totally wrong ... especially when you find out they were dissapointed with the amount they 'raised' :mad: why should guests have to pay for their wedding ... that is why i refused to attend the weddings.

I think that you only need give a tenner if you wish, and the gift for the baby is an excellent idea ... you'd be able to get something nice for under a tenner too

make_life_easier

I agree with Ally - after all you can only give what you can afford and it's costing you more than you can afford before the pressie. If I was given a tenner for my wedding present I would more than apprieciate it. I can understand why they don't want 15 toasters or 10 new vases but think about it you can get these for well less than a tenner so I think they will be glad with that

mah_jong

I was at a wedding a couple of years back and the couple were going off to live in Oz..so cash prezzies were suggested for that reason. However that didn't stop some one from giving the largest most horrid ornament (aunt jean special perhaps??) that you have EVER seen, No idea what happened to it but going to OZ..... I doubt it!!!

:-)

To the OP, in this situation I think I would suggest the work collection. Even if some prefer to put cheques as opposed to notes...pile them all together in box and tie with ribbon!

SnowyOwl_2

I think that you should stick to your guns and that whatever happens you stick to the budget you can afford. If there is a whip round at work then just include your donation with that, sign the card and be done with it. If there is no work whip round then I think don't give them money at all. Press ahead with the home made pressie, it is the thoughtfulness that will count and be remembered. If you think they are looking to take advantage of the fact they are getting wed, don't let them, that is far too bad mannered and you don't have to allow yourself to be used like that.

Perhaps you should give them a copy of The Money Diet? Not being funny, but if as you suspect they are selling their home in order to pay off debts accumulated on frivolities then they desperately need the advice the book contains. And the last thing they need is more cash to waste....

Jet wrote:

The wedding invitations were all worded the same. A little polite poem saying that they didn't want toasters etc. but if people wanted to give a gift they would like money. I do understand that as they have been living together for a few years, they don't need anything for the house.

Now I know they are about to move house (they are selling to release equity to pay off their debts acquired from frivolous over spending) and I just know the cash will be spent on this.

I suppose I'm annoyed that my money will just encourage more irresponsible overspending on their part. I think asking for specific vouchers would have been more appropriate and something I might do anyway - maybe something for their 3 year old little boy.

Hunnymonster

If the collection is anonymous and there's a card alongside, I always put in a random amount and a comment on the card along the lines "ask not who put in the £3.14 - but who fined you £6.86 for being a <objectionable word here>

katiepops_2

I think a copy of The Money Diet is an excellent idea!

However, beware that hand made pressies can often work out to be rather expensive.

If they're moving, you could make them 20 fancy change of address cards (if you're a crafter) that they can send out. Or, for serious crafters, an altered paint tin (for the uninitiated, you can buy clean empty lever-lid 'paint' tins in a variety of sizes, that you cover with fancy paper and decorate), and then fill with little bits and pieces - great for any occasion and not particularly expensive, depending of course on what you want to put in there.

And if you don't want to go to all the effort of making something yourself, a nice photo frame can't go wrong (as long as it's fairly simple, something like wood or leather etc).

Kate

Ally

SnowyOwl wrote:

If you think they are looking to take advantage of the fact they are getting wed, don't let them, that is far too bad mannered and you don't have to allow yourself to be used like that.

Well said Snowy :T that is the point i wanted to make, but as ya can probably tell .... round the houses etc etc and i get lost

Personally, If i were to have a big wedding, I would appreciate people actually turning up in the 1st place and having a good and memorable time ... and if they insisted, a hand made or personalised gift/keepsake for the event would be just fantastic ... way better than money/vouchers or expensive gifts.

Jacster_2

Hi all

I don't often post in OS, more of a lurker on here, I'm afraid, as I don't have as much knowledge as the rest of you, but just had to respond to this thread!

I agree with everyone who has said your boss is being cheeky and presumptious. I totally agree that you should put a (very) small amount into the collection, if there is one, and if not, go ahead with the HM pressie. And if you can make it for their son, even better.

I'm sure anything you could make for them will be wonderful, and they will appreciate it.

Hope this helps.:)

Zziggi

I got married just over a year ago. OH and me decided prior to the event that we weren't going to have a 'wedding list', we just wanted people to feel they could come to the wedding whatever their finances without them feeling they would be expected to buy presents [we knew a few guests were rather strapped for cash]. As it turned out everyone asked us what we wanted for presents and we said we didn't want anything but if the guest would like to buy us something, then anything they think is suitable would be appreciated [all guests were close family or good friends so knew us, and what we had, very well]. Since we didn't have a wedding list, all guests ended up giving us money. We put all the money together and bought a number of items for the home, then wrote to all guests and just let them know that we put all the money together and told them what we had bought. We thought it was only right we should let them know what we got with the money.

I personally don't like giving money as a wedding gift. WHen i have done it, it's only been to very close family who i know will put the money towards something they want rather than just fritter the money away.

If you are going to the meal/reception, my grandma always used to give a gift equivalent to the cost of the meal (if you can afford it).

Your boss is being a bit presumptous IMHO. If he is anything near a decent person he'll appreciate WHATEVER gift you get him/make him.

Poppy9

I assume that as you are going to your boss's wedding you are quite close to him. You seem to know his financial situation so he may be aware of yours.

Tell him that you wouldn't want to insult him with a token cash amount but would baby sit or have his son for a sleepover 1 night so he and his new wife can go out for a meal to celebrate their wedding or even offer to mind him on house moving day.

As some one who is short on baby sitters and think twice about paying £20 before leaving the house for a night out I would appreciate the offer.

PS I still think its rude to ask for money instead of presents. All invitations should say its your presence we want not your presents.:p