I wanna be mortgage free!

Courgette

twinklie wrote: »

Whats your plan after your "5 years" are up honey? I'm too scared to do supply...it's the steady income we need right now. Which is why it's so hard...

No idea! By then I want to be rid of the mortgage so I'll have more options work-wise. Perhaps I won't give it up entirely but maybe do 2 days a week and supplement my income if needed with tutoring or marking. I'd like to do a PhD at some point too and I think classroom experience would be really useful for the kind of thing I'm interested in. I imagine I'll always (or at least for quite a while) be involved with education on some level just not going through the day to day madness of classroom teaching.

I must confess Twinkle, I'm a little worried about you. You just seem very very down at the moment but you've also made a few comments over the last few weeks and months even about feeling a bit lost and a bit like you don't belong. It's not for me to say as a basically random internet stranger but are you really gonna be okay being away from hubby for another 2 years? Is there really no way you could get yourself down there to be with him?

That list of yours looks pretty long too for this time of night. Look after yourself xxx

twinklie

I'm ok honey honest. I think I vent it on here more because it's safe...if that makes sense. I don't think I'd be able to say these things to people in rl (except my bessie at work).

We honestly don't have much choice but to wait and see if I can get a job down there to join him. We'll see how we go I guess.

Anyway, it's parents evening tomorrow...grim!

cha97michelle

You sound a little more yourself tonight. Glad to hear it. I do think we have a lot of similarities. I also couldn't see what i would do if i wasn't doing that job. I also thought my parents (particularly my dad) would be really disappointed in me as i was the only one of my siblings to be in a secure and well paid job.

Most of all, i had to give myself permission to do what i needed to do.

Sounds like you are planning to keep yourself busy tonight and tomorrow night is well taken care of. Is DH with you on Friday?

Take care, and give us a shout if you need more venting. I'm sure we all understand how you feel.

twinklie

Yup...DH will be home Friday night.

Busy weekend planned of climbing, gym and visiting family. My main concern is not losing the house. I'd love to quit and move down there with DH but he's worked so hard for his house and he supported me through my qualifications...it's my turn to return the favour. Only 26 days left before half term and I get rid of year 11's. Plus in that time I get a day off to go to the zoo!! It's a trip with year 7.

Right done lots of stuff...now it's time to sort my lessons. Boo.

Courgette

twinklie wrote: »

Only 26 days left before half term and I get rid of year 11's.

Yay! :beer: I hope you've included the Bank Holiday in those 26 days too!

twinklie

Hmmm....ok. Can't be bothered cleaning the kitchen but I think I've done ok. Finished all the school tasks I wanted to get done. So I'm happy with that!

twinklie

Anyone got any friends that teach psychology? I could do with some help...I'm struggling a bit. x

twinklie

Got some amazing news yesterday. One of the horrid year 11's has been sent on early study leave. As I teach him 5 hours a week it makes a MASSIVE difference to me!

Fingers crossed the other really hard work one will do the same now! He was off ill all week and the other kids were really easy to teach and I had a really good week with them. Was all very strange.

The bad news I did get though showed that I'm timetabled to teach year 11 period 4 and 5 (as a double lesson) next year on a FRIDAY!!! This is my nightmare year 10 class that I teach as a double on a Tuesday afternoon and struggle to keep in the room for 2 hours as it is. Sooooo much like hard work. NOT impressed!!!

I guess it does mean that come June I'll have all Friday afternoons off though...but it's not really fair on them. I genuinely think if it was a double in the morning it would be fine...but double in the afternoon (and a friday no less) will mean they don't get out of the lessons what they should. I'm really not impressed.

Fingers crossed the timetable is changed...but I doubt it.

Managed to drag my !!! to the gym last night after work (despite being tired from parents evening the night before)...and did the full 85 minute workout set up by the instructor. However...I did have to drop most of the weights because I'm just not strong enough. Ah well....something to aim for I guess.

twinklie

:rotfl: Forgot that I couldn't type a s s due to the filter!

I've applied for another job this morning...one closer to home. Don't hold out much hope for it but we'll see!

Right I need to sort out a to do list at some point today so here goes....

1. Clean kitchen
2. File all paperwork
3. Cancel B&Q card
4. Tidy living room
5. Put on 2 washes
6. Fold and put away clothes
7. Organise a to do list for work (doh).

earthgirl

Hi Twinklie,

Sorry you have been feeling down, only you can decide if you really want to stay as a teacher. I felt the same way in my last job, totally unsupported and taken for granted and treated like rubbish. I used to cry on the way to work (was living apart from OH as well for a year) and I even thought one day if I just crashed my car gently I could ring work and tell them I couldn't go in. Then I realised that this was totally stupid and I had to do somthing. I applied for a new job, got it, and moved back with OH. I am supported at home, well supported at work, and even if I have a bad day once in a while I have the people around me to help.

I also think I accept a lot less of hassle than I used to. I tell my boss what I need in terms of support, and I email this, so I have records. I still have bad days everynow and again (like a child saying I allow bullying in my class (what??)) that upsets me, but I keep going knowing that these days are one offs.
I also think my mfw motivation comes from a wish to be free from feeling so trapped and forced to put up with things that I don't want to.

So I guess my advice would be, try to teach in another school, try to get back to OH, in the mean time get other people involved to give you support and log this if it isn't happening, and try to take the pressure of yourself to achieve miracles.

I also used to colour code my planner. Green for a good lesson, yellow for bearable, and red for not happy. This made me feel better as there wasn't really many reds, but those were the ones that I was thinking about all the time, it kind of put it in perspective at the end of a bad tearful day!

Also Cha97 is right, you are doing the right thing getting rid of the mortgage so that it doesn't keep you in a job you hate.

Sorry for rambling!

Thinking of you x