The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

barshamhillbilly

Opps sorry - afternoon now. Doesn't time fly!

Hope everyone is feeling OK / Better today.

Going on from what Jo has said, I myself am a bit social phobic, meaning I am not comfortable in being in a croud of people especially in a meeting or group work, so the AA route is not for me. It would make me have a drink before I went. (But then I'm an unsociable old git anyway )

However, as I said, our local Drug & Alcohol support centre does 1:1 counselling sessions and has a range of other treatments and help. So its definitely worth finding out what is available and what would suit you in your area.

Anyway - time for a tot up (excuse the pun) 218 hours so far and feeling great! (My DW has managed 7 days :T :T )

Jacks - be careful its only the one! Sorry to nag
Funbrum - Keep it up! :T

Leigh - welcome, good to have you aboard. Good luck on Monday :j

Keep up the good work everyone. Look forward to hearing from you all late.
I must say - its much easier have you lot to bounce of. Thanks everyone.
Have a great weekend. Keep the tinnies in the fridge and the corkscrew in the drawer!

Andy

suzukibabelynda1972

Hi, although I regularly read the posts I very rarely write but this time it so hit home. It all started about 4 years ago when my husband left me with 3 young children. Anyway to cut a long story short I have had a very difficult few years including having to sell our family home and many of our possessions as well as a nasty divorce battle, all this making my ongoing battle with mental health really hard. During this time I have taken to drinking wine in the evenings when the children are in bed. On a positive note I have recently remarried a fantastic man who is so supportive and loving to us. Sorry to ramble but the point I am trying to make is that I have a huge debt of about £28k - currently being helped by a company called chiltern. I have not told them that I have remaried because I am scared that they will try and up my £175 a month payment (I know I owe the money but don't want it to eat into our new life) Sorry, still rambling - the point I am getting to is that we are drinking 2 bottles of wine a night between us which is approx £8 a night - £56 a week - so stupid I know and every night we say no wine tonight and then something happens which leads us to say sod it and buy the wine. Have tried putting money in a jar towards debt bet end up giving up after a couple of nights.......

Are we the only ones like this?????

PS Would never drink in the day, should not drink at all due to tabs but why do we????

Anyway will join this thread and see if anyone can come up with any ideas which may help.......

Looking forward to your replies so much xxxxxx

nearly-there_4

Hiya

Day 5 without alcohol................... and going for the 30 day fast!!

Positives
No manic munching ...........lost 2 lbs so far .................... must be good incentive
No blank moments !!
No sleep walking !!
No sheer exhaustion ........................ which tended to last a couple of days.
No highs and lows
More energy - had more quality times with the kids this week / more home cooking / more umphhh!
Taking makeup off at night.... well spotted FunBrum
Weekly treats: :j this week it's gonna be a face mask.

Negatives - or do I mean precautions!!
Off work this week so less stressed and less tired therefore more in control and planning with style! - need to ensure I stay that way......... gently, gently methinks. Jacks I feel sooooooooooooo like you when I get back from work.................that's my vulnerable time to.
Not out of the woods yet ......................... not by a long chalk ..................... but the path is pleasant at the moment.....................and so very glad I stumbled across this website.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


Leigh - thanks for sharing your story. I wish you all the best with your new job...........and new start :T. Stick around - let us know how you are getting on. Jo and Andy had some great advice about AA and seeking appropriate help........................good advice for us all really.

ISOM - thankyou so very much for starting this thread. Glad to hear that you're managing with just the odd glass of wine...................but don't be too busy that you have to keep away for too long. take good care of yourself.
Shopaholic I hope you enjoyed your Kaliber and that your horse romped in a winner.

Anyway............back to the housework. I have a bottle of the fizzy stuff chilling in the fridge (water that is.............lol !)................... and a small bar of chocolate hidden well away from the kids. Have a great and sober evening, whatever you are up to. :rotfl:

Leigh73

jo1972 wrote: »

I've just finished typing this post and apologise for the length of it :rolleyes:

Leigh, welcome to the thread :wave: and thanks for your honest post

I do agree with your comments about the AA somewhat, after a year of counselling I know my triggers and know the reason I started to drink 15 years ago (:eek:). But for me, talking about it for an hour a week, then dwelling on it for the rest of the week never actually helped. In fact, it made me worse as I got initially got quite depressed at the beginning of counselling. I went to see a counsellor first back in Jan 06 and was concerned cos I was drinking 4-6 cans of Stella daily and had been doing so for 13 years without hardly any abstinence apart from 2 pregnancies along the line. He asked me to do a thought record, told me to go away and write down every time I thought of drinking, what I was thinking, what the thoughts led to and how it made me feel etc etc. I was very frustrated the following week when I went back and said I don't actually think of drinking, I'm on auto-pilot, I actually just go and buy it and drink it, it's a habit. He then explained (and it's obvious really!), that I wouldn't actually drive to the shop, get out of the car, enter the shop, go to the beer fridge, take beer to the counter, pay for it and go back to the car if I hadn't thought about it! So I explained that I didn't actually sit in the car thinking about what I was going to do, I just got these physical feelings, like my chest being compressed, sweaty hands, dry mouth and throat and that was the beer bell. He then told me that I can only possibly get physical effects if I've had a mental thought or image but it could be a subconscious thought so I needed to go away and next time I felt I 'needed' a drink, stop what I'm doing and think about what it was that caused that physical feeling and write it down (had to carry a pen and paper everywhere!). It took a few days to figure out what I was actually thinking and why but I managed to control my thoughts. The following week I had written essays! He then made me go through my thought records and write down how each thought made me feel i.e. anxious, emotional, angry etc. So after doing this for a month or two I got very depressed as I didn't realise I actually thought about drinking 24/7!! My alcohol intake actually increased from 4-6 cans to 8 a night! Now 2 years on I have managed to get it back down to 4 cans and hopefully now I won't be drinking at all, I've got to take it a day at a time. I think maybe the AA might be a good idea for me as I like group meetings and knowing that I'm not on my own. Everyone's different I guess, I'd just say you've gotta try it once to see if it works.

Good luck whatever you decide to do Leigh, although, and don't flame me, I think although you say you aren't an alcoholic maybe you do have a drink problem. Binge drinkers can also be alcoholics. At meetings I've met problem drinkers that might not have a drink for a month but when they do, they do! This is not normal controlled drinking and it affects what they are doing and other people around them, this is a problem. Good luck with your job on Monday, I'll be thinking of you. Be sure to let us know how you get on, what will you be doing? I think if you concentrate on the fact that people probably prefer you sober then eventually you'll prefer yourself sober too

Funbrum, congrats, you are doing great Your make-up comment made me laugh, I understand exactly what you mean!

Jacks, enjoy your glass today, make sure it's only a glass though

xx

Hiya Jo,


Thanks for the welcome, and thanks also to Andy, 'nearly - there', and FunBrum!

Congrats on bringing the boozing right down Jo. So, are you still on the 4 cans a night (hope you dont mind me asking!) or have you completely cut it out as of now then?

Sorry if I sounded like I was justifying carrying on with my past heavy drinking.. I certainly wasn't, as I'd be, and am (!) the first to admit that I have had (and still struggle with) a major drink problem.

I am however doing something about it. I'm off back to see my counsellor for a 1 to 1 in 10 days time. I've also started going back to a weekly group (not AA) meeting at a local charity who are affiliated with the substance misuse team in my area.

I also agree with you Jo, in that, binge drinkers can indeed be alcoholics.

I do however, strongly believe, that people can be physically OR psychologically addicted to alcohol, and sometimes both. I'm with my GP on this one! I see myself as someone who's become psychologically addicted, most definitely, but I don't think I'll be carrying on as I was, just to see if I can steer clear of the 'physical addiction' just in the nick of time!

Like you say Jo, if it starts to mess with what it is people are doing, or causes trouble for those around them, then that is the time to get help.

All the best, and Take Care,

Leigh x

Well done the rest of you too, keep at it! :T

In_Search_Of_Me

Evening all! Its my pleasure starting the post and its a priveledge to be part of such a supportive group! Welcome leigh! Found this and thought it may help all:
"Definition
The essential feature of alcohol abuse is the maladaptive use of alcohol with recurrent and significant adverse consequences related to its repeated use. Alcoholism is the popular term for two disorders, alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. The hallmarks of both these disorders involve repeated life problems that can be directly attributed to the use of alcohol. Both these disorders can have serious consequences, affecting an individual's health and personal life, as well as having an impact on society at large.
Description
The effects of alcoholism are quite far-reaching. Alcohol affects every body system, causing a wide range of health problems. Some such problems include poor nutrition, memory disorders, difficulty with balance and walking, liver disease (including cirrhosis and hepatitis), high blood pressure, muscle weakness (including the heart), heart rhythm disturbances, anemia, clotting disorders, decreased immunity to infections, gastrointestinal inflammation and irritation, acute and chronic problems with the pancreas, low blood sugar, high blood fat content, interference with reproductive fertility, and weakened bones.
On a personal level, alcoholism results in marital and other relationship difficulties, depression, unemployment, child abuse, and general family dysfunction.
Alcoholism causes or contributes to a variety of severe social problems including homelessness, murder, suicide, injury, and violent crime. Alcohol is a contributing factor in at least 50% of all deaths from motor vehicle accidents. In fact, about 100, 000 deaths occur each year due to the effects of alcohol, of which 50% are due to injuries of some sort. According to a recent special report prepared for the U.S. Congress by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the impact of alcohol on society, including violence, traffic accidents, lost work productivity, and premature death, costs our nation an estimated $185 billion annually. In addition, it is estimated that approximately one in four children (19 million children or 29 percent of children up to 17 years of age) is exposed at some time to familial alcohol abuse, alcohol dependence, or both. Furthermore, it has been estimated that approximately 18 percent of adults experience an episode of alcohol abuse or dependence a some time during their lives."

Thought this may help people struggling with whether they are dependant! Leigh noone else can have your "lightbulb" moment for you and if you CAN just have one then fine but I suspet from what you have said about the impact of alcohol so far is that you may struggle with this. To be "healthy" you wil need to learn to cope with social situations, relationships etc without the drink blanket and its hard when you find meeting peope hard! Anyway, we are here for you without judgement and hope you'll stick around.
Last night I finished my red & had a glass of white - should have stopped at the red TBH but lesson learned. It will take a while to just stop I think but the more time goes on the more I realise that I enjoy it less..not quite at the stage where I want to NOT drink but being at a stage where I can just enjoy one would be great!
Great that people are sharing so mant strategies...AA will work for some and not others! My experience of it (from family member) is that it can be a life saver but it cal also be somehwre where people use group to excuse themselves almost and it can be destructive if people arent gentuinely getting better & being honest...BB your 1-1 sounds great & fab that they sound so supportive! I love acupuncture & find it very relaxing! Needles are minute so dont hurt that much IMO!! Sitting here with my ginger beer & chilling this eve. How about everyone else?

Leigh73

Hiya 'suzukibabelynda1972',

Sorry to hear you've been through the mill.

Great to hear you've got a loving family to help you of of the mire though!

You reminded me of myself a good few years ago, when my debts were stressing me out so much, I'd always end up back on the booze, just to handle it..trouble is, we all know that's a mugs game, and it will actually make the reality of the situation a lot harder to deal with.

So, the solution? ...This debt is a millstone around your neck. You can take control and stop it affecting your health, as at the end of the day, your health and equally, the health and wellbeing of your family are way more important than this debt.

So, have a look on the "Debt Free Wannabee' boards on here. There's also a brilliant board, manned by all sorts of knowledgeable folks who have experience of sorting their debts on the 'Dealing with Debt' boar on The Motley Fool site - fool.co.uk

My opinion is that, if the debts are not helping the boozing, then I'd just go Bankrupt, and then in 6 - 12 months time, you can start afresh, with your sanity (and sobriety!) intact.

Obviously, the Big 'B' is a serious step, and you should discuss the details of your debts with the experts, but it's worth considering. I did it and have never looked back!

Also, the fee-charging Debt Management Companies are a complete waste of money (and sometimes make matters worse, by failing to pay creditors on time), when you could help free of charge, through 'CCCS' or the 'Consumer Credit Counselling Service' or 'National Debtline'..have a Google for both!

Seems like if you take away the root cause of the stress (and as a result, the drinking..), ie - get shot of the debts, by going Bankrupt, and writing off the debt, then the need to drink will stop (or at least, will be less!)

Good Luck suzukibabelynda1972 and take it easy,

Leigh x

ZTD

Leigh73 wrote: »

Also, the fee-charging Debt Management Companies are a complete waste of money (and sometimes make matters worse, by failing to pay creditors on time), when you could help free of charge, through 'CCCS' or the 'Consumer Credit Counselling Service' or 'National Debtline'..have a Google for both!

No need to google for them (they sometimes lead you to the wrong place) - the list is available on this very site: http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help

lewt

Leigh73 wrote: »

Sorry if I sounded like I was justifying carrying on with my past heavy drinking.. I certainly wasn't, as I'd be, and am (!) the first to admit that I have had (and still struggle with) a major drink problem.

I am however doing something about it. I'm off back to see my counsellor for a 1 to 1 in 10 days time. I've also started going back to a weekly group (not AA) meeting at a local charity who are affiliated with the substance misuse team in my area.

I also agree with you Jo, in that, binge drinkers can indeed be alcoholics.

I do however, strongly believe, that people can be physically OR psychologically addicted to alcohol, and sometimes both. I'm with my GP on this one! I see myself as someone who's become psychologically addicted, most definitely, but I don't think I'll be carrying on as I was, just to see if I can steer clear of the 'physical addiction' just in the nick of time!

Hi, Quick question , what happens if you don't aviod the physical addiction ? it's a pretty big gamble aint it ? sorry if that seems obtuse, i just thought i'd ask...

ltm07

I think you've hit the nail on the head there ISOM about not enjoying alcohol as time goes on. Only been drunk about 3 times since Xmas & it is great to wake up on a Sunday morning & not have a hangover! Don't really know what to do about next week. One of my mate's birthdays & would like to catch up with him & a few other friend's who will be out. I will have £40 set aside should I go out but it will be an all day session! OH says it will do me good to go out & catch up with friends but I KNOW that i will end up getting hammered!! Going to spend the next week pondering what to do. I will enjoy the day if I go out but it's the after effects!!

Leigh73

Ahaa, Thanks ZTD!