The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

shopaholictiedtheknot

jo1972 wrote: »

I wouldn't touch Kaliber with a barge-pole, even ice cold. Go to Tesco and get either alch-free Becks or Stella, they are drinkable

I will try them but I actually like Kaliber with lime in it

barshamhillbilly

Hi All,
What a day .... bit stressed now. Really felt like a beer earlier and having to walk through the beer section at Lidl's didn't help much.:eek:

However - its all in the mind and I have a lovely orange juice and fizzy water which will do me so much more good.

Anyway I'm home now and there's a pizza in the oven and we can sit down and relax. I feel better already just thinking about it.

Well good news and bad news from our trip today - we (DW) found the billy goat for our goat herd this afternoon, the bad news is she's been cuddling it and now smells like a billy goat! :rotfl: :rotfl: We pick him up next weekend.
So hopefully we will have goats kids on the way again within a fortnight!

Kaliber with lime sounds good, Shopaholictiedtheknot, but I fear if I have a kaliber I will get the taste for the beer again. I reckon we will be in the garden or greenhouse this weekend, but in or out I guess depends on the weather.

Well feel better now - have taken it out on the keyboard, 198 hours now, Heck - nearly 200. Can't stop ....er ...or do I mean start? now.
Keep up the good work peeps

If in doubt - contact the GP, or as Jo says your local drug and alcohol service team. It's really not as scary as it sounds, you can make a private appointment and you don't need to sit and talk about in a room full of people if you don't fancy it ...... I can't wait for my Indian Head massage, relexology and aromatherapy treatments. They are all free at my local drug and alcohol support centre and if they don't relax me - nothing will !
!st thing I guess is to realise the problem for yourself, then get over the embarassment and do something about it. I know someone who has lost his children, house, partner and £40K / year job becuase of a few beers a night, then the odd whisky .....
He now stays in shared house with six other people and lives of statutory sick pay at around £75 a week. Scarey stuff.

On the bright side - I'm now going to have my second pint.......of orange juice and fizzy water.

Have a great evening everyone - but try not to touch a drop;)

Andy

In_Search_Of_Me

Evening all! Great to see peope chatting & doing s well. Sorry not been on but had a busy week and less time to catch up! Have done well but did have a glass on weds and will again this eve - was fine with just that and didnt want more so in that mission accomplished for me as I just wanted to feel in control rather than give up. Have to be careful with med though so am very cautious about drinking now...
Great to see you all nattering away, newbies coming & the general support is lovely. Well done to all...just recogising that there is a problem is a step and I would agree that a bttle of wine & 4 cans is too much - he only has to look at his weekly units to see that BUT having said that if you nag hes more likely to dig heels in & alanon is a good idea. Its very easy when you live with someone who drinks for them to justify/make excuses/get angry/deny etc and we cant have their lightbulb for them...no matter how much we want to...How are people feeling having given up? I found the first two weeks hard but then felt so much better for NOT drinking once the initial stages were gone through....Weekends are hard cos theyre the "deserve a treat" time so time to plan strategies! What treats are people giving themselves?

barshamhillbilly

Hi Insearchofme,
I never did thank you for starting this thread up. Without it I think both the DW and I would still be drinking so Thank You!

It is getting better day by day, though as I said earlier - did struggle a bit after a long drive and stressful day. I feel SOOOOO much better and am definitely sleeping better too. Accupuncture or will power I don't know but something is definitely working.

Strategies - Lots of fizzy water in the house to replace the beer.

My incentive is a small handheld computer, when I have NOT drunk that amount of money. I know its not really MSE style as I don't really need it, could do without it, but I'm looking at it that after that point all the money saved by not spending it on boose will be saved.

The dear wife has reserved her prize billy goat to pick up next weekend so that I guess is her incentive treat. Takes all sorts doesn't it :rotfl:

Thanks again
BHB

nearly-there_4

Hi again

Day 4 for me ................ haven't felt like any alcohol though ................. and am on annual leave this week which always makes things easier..... so not sure if I'm a good girl or not. Have also lost 21bs!! - hurrah!!

Thanks Sue UU and BHB for your kind words. :j

My lousy throat isn't any better and I've lost my voice now !! Have been walking in the local country park and admiring the spring flowers - wood anemones and ransoms in abundance.
Off to the theatre shortly, just hoping I don't fall asleep - lol !
Have made a shopping list for tomorrow (never usually do that but organisation is going to be key for me) - fizzy water, chocolate and effervescent Vit C (as advised on an earlier posting).
Hope everyone has a good weekend and manages to relax and chill without the need for a drink !!

I am really enjoying reading everyone's opinion - keep posting - you really are helping me focus :T

jo1972

Evening all

Doesn't it feel great to be sober

Andy, I remember a few years ago in a group meeting, I met a cab driver and a London tube driver that both lost their jobs through drinking :eek:

Scary, yeah but think about it...they are normal people that just got under the alcohol spell, can happen to any of us...

Hope we're all well tonight?

ISOM, great thread

xx

Leigh73

Hi all.

Great to see you've set this up, and a huge well done to all of you who've either cut right down or stopped completely.

I've been binge drinking for about 12 years, since my Mum died. Then Nan died a couple of years later, and then my Girlfriend of 5 years left...but then, guess why she left? You've got it, because of the drinking, and all the cr*p that went with it!

This isn't me feeling sorry for myself, just giving a bit of background.

Over the years since all that heartbreak, losing the women I loved so dearly, I've lost been in and out of jobs that I hated, been Bankrupt back in '03, and lost the plot and ended up in hospital a few times too..but I've lived to tell the tale and I'm still smiling!

I agree with what Jo and Andy said above, it's incredible just how any of us can lose it all once under the 'alcohol spell' as Jo hit the nail on the head just now.

I've stole, cheated on the women I loved, lied, and b*ggered up the last 10 / 12 years of my Life if truth be told, and it's not always been the alcohol that was the 'root cause' of this (sounds like denial, but trust me, it isn't, having discussed this with a therapist for months..), but instead, a lot of the time, the crux of it was anxiety, shyness, feeling like a 'fraud' when out and about, social anxiety and depression, and a basic animal instinct to escape..to somehow, literally get 'out of my head' and stop the thoughts, the memories whizzing around my bonce..but sadly, it was usually vodka, guinness, or lager that helped (or rather dragged) me along!

I'm currently essentially homeless, and would be out on the streets if it wasn't for my star of a Dad. This has been the case since last December, and the last few weeks has seen me find a new, shiny determination to sort my Life out once and for all. I intend to stay away from the booze completely, for at least a month or so, maybe for good, but I'm not sure I want / or need to give up completely.

I'm not an alcoholic. I was definitely drinking 'on' the heartbreak and feelings of loss, guilt, regret, and shame for treating people who, looking back I loved so much, yet couldn't connect with, through fear of crying and all the rest.

I was drinking once every 2 weeks on average, but crikey, once I started enjoying a few pints, that would be it for a couple of days, and looking for a new job would go out of the window...and I'd be waking up in hotel rooms with no recollection of how I got there, sleeping around enough to put Russell Brand to shame (if only I had his fantastic hair!) but then I'd spend the next 3/4 days feeling like I was dying..

I last drank a week yesterday (Friday), and ironically, it was the first time in a long time I was drinking 'cos I was happy! I'd got a new job (I start properly this coming Monday), and I ended up just 'fancying a few'to celebrate...of course, the few became 12/15, and the same on the Friday, then came the weekend and the Evil Step - Mother of all hangovers.

Maybe I'll never be able to drink 'socially' (whatever that means in the midst of this great nations haze of binge-drinking madness, where we all seem to celebrate getting 'trollied'), but then I'm starting to like the way other people like me more, when I'm sober. Let's face it, nothing hurts as much as getting looked at that little bit differently, by the landlords / punters does it?

I'm able to Love when I'm sober, but when I'm drunk, I'm a nightmare, so maybe it's time to call it a day, eh?!

So, like I said, for me I've been off the pop for a week, and I'm over the moon that I'll be starting my new job on Monday. The scary part is handling it all sober...now that's where the real hard work starts!

Good Luck all of you lovely people, 'cos I know just how bl**dy tough it can be,

Lots of Love and kindness,

Leigh x

PS - I've tried AA, and it was not for me. The reason being, I can't see the logic in dismissing Alcoholism as a 'disease', yet failing (and in my opinion, quite ignorantly) to bother looking at the motivation 'behind' the persons drinking. For me, once I admit I'm "powerless over alcohol", and that the "disease has me", I really am well and truly b*ggered.

So, while I have total respect for any of you who've found AA to be the making / saving of you, I, personally, can just not to relate to it.

Whatever works for all of you though!

FunBrum

Wow...so many to answer to and what a great read this is!

Well done for all of your efforts:TLuitut....it's tough when your OH doesn't want to addmit there is a problem. I too would go down the "money" road. I haven't actually reckoned up what I would be spending, but it must have been vast.
barshamhillybilly...Well done mate, and good luck with your goat. You are an inspiration.:D

Also thanks to, Sue-UU, Jo, ISOM, Nearly there, and everyone else that I may have forgotten.:T

Leigh...your story touched me and it reflects on a lot of peoples experiences that have been 'infected' by alcohol. Thanks for sharing, and I hope the job goes well. Keep us posted.:D

Well folks. I didn't touch a drop on Thursday whilst I was out for lunch. In fact I took the bull by the horns and told BF that I was off it for good and he even cut back on what he would normally chuck down his neck!.
I don't think I can just have one! It has to be total abstinance for me.:o
We also went out on the evening and I sipped orange juice and coffee. I felt GREAT! I actually took my make-up off before bed instead of just sliding through the sheets because I was so drunk I couldn't be bothered. Does that sound familiar girls?!;)
I didn't have anything to drink last night either, even though I was at work at 7 and was in meetings all afternoon. Normally I go for the nearest bottle of Pinot and relax.

I think that with me...it may be different for all of you...but for me, it has become habit. As I have said before, I don't actually enjoy it like I used to. I just was drinking for something to do, and because it had become a habit. Like all habits, it can be broken and it's a question of replacing it with something else.:rolleyes:

Jacks_xxx

barshamhillbilly wrote: »

They also said that low blood sugar levels gave the same symptoms as the cravings. And when you have alcohol it rushes all its sugar into the blood. You get the same effect if you have normal sugar so you don't really know if it was alcohol or blood sugar you are craving.

BHB

OOh that's interesting.... cos my most vulnerable time (apart from when I'm in any room with a bar in it) is when I get in from work, I'm shattered and I feel like I need something to help me keep going through all the domestic chores that I have to get through before I can sit down. (Is that violins I hear? )

Maybe that's why the tea and toast thing is working for me?

Blimey.

It's my dad's birthday today so I'm thinking one glass of wine with meal just to be "normal" and that's it. I haven't had any alcohol at all otherwise.

Big hugs for everybody,

Love Jacks xxx

PS I forgot to say I found this website quite interesting, and very helpful for getting a rough idea of the number of units I'm drinking.

http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/index.php?option=com_drinkscalc&gender=f&Itemid=45


PPS Liuhut On a bottle of red and several Stellas wouldn't your OH still be well over the limit the next morning? Maybe that would worry him enough to cut down if you got him to think about it?
I'm not sure if I'm right about this but I think that it takes an hour per unit of alcohol, for the liver to process it and a bottle of red and 4-6 Stellas has got to be about 20+ units - so it would take about 18 hours from the time he starts drinking to be under the legal driving limit again - which might be as late as lunchtime....!

jo1972

I've just finished typing this post and apologise for the length of it :rolleyes:

Leigh, welcome to the thread :wave: and thanks for your honest post

I do agree with your comments about the AA somewhat, after a year of counselling I know my triggers and know the reason I started to drink 15 years ago (:eek:). But for me, talking about it for an hour a week, then dwelling on it for the rest of the week never actually helped. In fact, it made me worse as I got initially got quite depressed at the beginning of counselling. I went to see a counsellor first back in Jan 06 and was concerned cos I was drinking 4-6 cans of Stella daily and had been doing so for 13 years without hardly any abstinence apart from 2 pregnancies along the line. He asked me to do a thought record, told me to go away and write down every time I thought of drinking, what I was thinking, what the thoughts led to and how it made me feel etc etc. I was very frustrated the following week when I went back and said I don't actually think of drinking, I'm on auto-pilot, I actually just go and buy it and drink it, it's a habit. He then explained (and it's obvious really!), that I wouldn't actually drive to the shop, get out of the car, enter the shop, go to the beer fridge, take beer to the counter, pay for it and go back to the car if I hadn't thought about it! So I explained that I didn't actually sit in the car thinking about what I was going to do, I just got these physical feelings, like my chest being compressed, sweaty hands, dry mouth and throat and that was the beer bell. He then told me that I can only possibly get physical effects if I've had a mental thought or image but it could be a subconscious thought so I needed to go away and next time I felt I 'needed' a drink, stop what I'm doing and think about what it was that caused that physical feeling and write it down (had to carry a pen and paper everywhere!). It took a few days to figure out what I was actually thinking and why but I managed to control my thoughts. The following week I had written essays! He then made me go through my thought records and write down how each thought made me feel i.e. anxious, emotional, angry etc. So after doing this for a month or two I got very depressed as I didn't realise I actually thought about drinking 24/7!! My alcohol intake actually increased from 4-6 cans to 8 a night! Now 2 years on I have managed to get it back down to 4 cans and hopefully now I won't be drinking at all, I've got to take it a day at a time. I think maybe the AA might be a good idea for me as I like group meetings and knowing that I'm not on my own. Everyone's different I guess, I'd just say you've gotta try it once to see if it works.

Good luck whatever you decide to do Leigh, although, and don't flame me, I think although you say you aren't an alcoholic maybe you do have a drink problem. Binge drinkers can also be alcoholics. At meetings I've met problem drinkers that might not have a drink for a month but when they do, they do! This is not normal controlled drinking and it affects what they are doing and other people around them, this is a problem. Good luck with your job on Monday, I'll be thinking of you. Be sure to let us know how you get on, what will you be doing? I think if you concentrate on the fact that people probably prefer you sober then eventually you'll prefer yourself sober too

Funbrum, congrats, you are doing great Your make-up comment made me laugh, I understand exactly what you mean!

Jacks, enjoy your glass today, make sure it's only a glass though

xx