The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

jo1972

Morning all :wave:

Jo, as YM says, it was an accident so don't beat yourself up about it. If you think you might have a problem then you probably have, as you would be the last person to notice it. I don't know if your OH wants to keep you drinking or not, but it's really not uncommon. I've found - since analysing it with my pshycotherapist - that my OH has this trait, although he goes ballistic when I consider drinking again, there is part of him that doesn't want me to become all pure and clean when he's not! I'm not saying your OH is not pure and clean by the way! Take each day as it comes, don't put too much onus on yourself because I've found the pressure can be unbearable and do/plan stuff you enjoy, like in my case, I've been watching films every day since I've been sober which is something I would never have been able to do before because I'd either be asleep or be jumping up and down to go get a drink (I used to hide it in the kitchen). I can now watch the Big Brother repeat at 11pm whereas before if I missed the 10pm one I'd have to miss it completely cos I'd need my bed as I was drunk. There are so many positives to being completely sober, you will start noticing them as you notch the days up, they are not apparent within the first day or two so try and hold out to see the improvements. Good luck and stick with us and keep us updated with your progress

Hi to everyone else :wave:

YM, how you doing?

Right, I really should be painting the blasted kitchen, did half of it last Wednesday and low and behold it's a whole week later and it's still half done!

I pledge to finish it today :A :rolleyes:

xx

yellowmonkey

Doing OK Jo thank you very much.

Bit stressful at the moment as I have decided to go Br after xmas and am getting ready for all the carp to start with my creditors but that is another story that will evolve with perhaps a diary on the Br board nearer the time

Have you not finished that Kitchen yet :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:. You are as bad as me. It took me 4 weeks to finish mine

ym

jo1972

4 weeks??? Ok, well I actually bought the paint, paint trays, rollers and brushes last October from B&Q, paid for it, put it in the boot and that's where it stayed until June when I had to have my car serviced and then it made it's way into the house and then sat in the hallway until last week Thing is, the paint was meant to be for the lounge but I used it in the kitchen, I now need more paint for the lounge which is the room that actually really needs doing!

*jobags*

Thanks for your support - one of my biggest issues is friends - visiting them it's always expected that we'll work through at least a bottle of wine each or a good few cans of lager. I think they'll be uncomfortable with me not drinking because they generally have a problem as well.
I went to a BBQ about 2 weeks ago and had some cans of Kaliber in my bag and so it looked like I was drinking...

What drugs could I say I'm on to avoid having to drink - apart from antibiotics as they're short term so that excuse can only hold for a week or so...
Are there any blood pressure tablets out there incompatible with booze?

It's dificult isn't it - apart from the battles going on within yourself you have the pressure from others not to knock it on the head.
A bit like people who tried to stop smoking in the 60s and 70s

I don't have any major social events lined up over the next few weeks (apart from a BBQ on Friday where there isn't really any pressure to drink from that crowd and I think I'll keep my head down until then

Having said that, I'm really inspired by some of you on here. I actually stoppped for 4 days a few weeks ago after readingof your efforts so I know I can do it - I just need to keep up the momentum. I can't say I felt great physically, couldn't sleep, diaphoretic etc but mentally and emotionally I was the bees knees.

Starting again today - hoping there'll be a fiver knocked off my mortgage by the end of the day;)

Jo

jo1972

Would you not feel comfortable admitting to your friends that you've stopped drinking because you are worried you're drinking too much?

Failing that, why not say you've decided to detox for 30 days and knocked it on the head. Then in 30 days time say you're feeling so great that you are going to keep it up a bit longer?

Bismarck

*jobags* wrote: »

Thanks for your support - one of my biggest issues is friends - visiting them it's always expected that we'll work through at least a bottle of wine each or a good few cans of lager. I think they'll be uncomfortable with me not drinking because they generally have a problem as well.

don't drink to make others feel comfortable...what does it say if you not drinking causes others to reflect on their own actions and not enjoy your company as much?

if you want to change, the prize is there for the taking but it's not free- there will be changes and some habits/friends will have to go....my past is my past and there are a lot of drinking buddies in there....I don't have the time or inclination to spend time with them any more. I've moved on...this "me" should live at least 20 years longer than the old "me" would have - when it comes down to it...how much do you want to give up? It's up to you...

alisong_2

Oh no, the dreaded log-out got me after I'd written a long note:mad: .

Welcome jobags and nice to see you back YM.

Jobags, I think it could turn into a problem even if it's not now. A bottle a day can't be good from a health point of view and it sounds like you're relying on it to change your mood which is a bit dodgy I think .

I've made it to 3 weeks today and I think I can honestly say that's the longest I've ever gone without alcohol in my whole adult life:eek: (you can see that I, indeed, had a 'problem!). I could never had done this without help and I really believe I've changed my life for the better so much by being 'brave' and asking for it. So, if you're undecided please do.

Anyway, back later, shopping just arriving (waitrose £15 off:money: !).

See you soon, Ali x.

beachbeth

jo1972 wrote: »

Failing that, why not say you've decided to detox for 30 days and knocked it on the head. Then in 30 days time say you're feeling so great that you are going to keep it up a bit longer?

I think thats such a good idea, Jo. Sometimes if you say you've given up drinking people seem to react as though you've become a leper or something. If you say you're on a detox or some sort of diet they won't think anything of it. Then the longer it goes on the more they'll be used to the fact that you don't drink and won't notice so much.

Allen Carr mentions in his book about how other people can become uncomfortable when you stop drinking because its a reminder to them of what a problem it really is.

eselt

Allen Carr mentions in his book about how other people can become uncomfortable when you stop drinking because its a reminder to them of what a problem it really is.[/quote]

I've definately found this and had to shed the old drinking buddies but I don't think its all their fault for reacting differently to me- they've only ever known me as a heavy drinker, and I am quieter and don't seem as confident as I used too and they find this strange- I think they just think I am more boring now, I'm not, I'm just not the loud one, who falls over, and behaves like a loudmouthed monster!!!!! I think you are right too that for some friends, as long as they can say, 'well I don't drink as much as........' (meaning you) they feel sure they don't have a problem- or not such a big one as you so thats OK. You can't keep drinking heavily everyday just because some people find it uncomfortable- its your battle/journey, not theirs, and you don't owe it to anyone to drink until you make yourself ill- you need to look after yourself. Good luck

Sorry I havn't posted for ages (dismantled my computer in temper and hid it after finding 14 yr old and mates had been downloading very nasty stuff!)- welcome everyone who is new, lurkers and well done for all the success to date (getting too much too mention individually these days-must be a good sign?).

Catch you later- Eselt

Bismarck

welcome back eselt...well - your reaction's not been severe enough to make it onto the national news - out of interest what did you say to the little darlings?