The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

jo1972

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

We have been thinking about what could we have done to have stopped him? We had spoken to him, cajoled him, confronted him with it, and he still really didnt honestly seem to feel he had a problem.

We have been beating ourselves up with the guilt, but he was an adult with free will, and, in reality he would only have resented our 'interfering'!

From my point of view, and I think others will agree when they pop along later, that if anyone were to tell me that I have a problem with drinking I would completely deny it, get very irritated and agressive and do my upmost to justify my drinking. This is a completely normal part of ANY addiction. The more you nag someone to do something the further away they will be from confronting it and dealing with it, most addicts, from what I've seen anyway, are very rebellious - although ultimately they are only rebelling from themselves.

foreign_corresondent wrote: »

It is, as you say, as if the brain seems to believe 'drink wont hurt me, it isnt a problem, I enjoy it' etc etc rather than be able to take a step back and look at how it is affecting their lives and their bodies.

Everybody believes 'it will never happen to me', this works for everything from cirrhosis for drinkers and lung cancer for smokers. For me it is (was :rolleyes:), far easier to drink that not drink. I would've driven 200 miles to buy beer but wouldn't have driven 200 miles to not drink. But I have now learnt that having a drink took away that longing for one, that's all it did. I have no other reasons or positive reactions for drinking. Drinking alcohol clouds my thoughts, makes me lazy, costs me money, makes me smell like a wino, gives me a hangover etc etc etc, I could go on all day. But when you are longing for a drink, you forget all this and just know that having that one drink will take that feeling away. Obviously once you've picked up and had the drink and taken the feeling away, it's inevitable that it's going to happen all over again....and again.....and again. This time I have learnt that I need to understand why I'm longing for a drink so that I can deal with the issues rather than be knocked over by the craving which does in fact take president to everything else. This longing for drink and continuously drinking to take the longing away is not a bad experience per se, if you are still unaware you have a problem, which I think your friend was, then it's just a normal habitual way of living.

barshamhillbilly

Evening all - I'm still on the sidelines - not doing bad, but not doing good.
Have just had a couple of glasses of cheapo red wine with the missus after a long hot day.
Guess I have cut down dramatically but still having a couple of bottles of strong beer or couple of large glasses of wine a night, every night. It's not brilliant but a step in the right direction.

Haven't had a chance to catch up yet - but hope everyone is doing OK.

Best Wishes
BHB

winebox

Jo - hope today going alright for you; everything you have posted today has really hit home, thank you xx I am not online tonight but will be tomorrow best of luck for today (do you feel OK?) & tonight & will be back tomorrow.

My foot is going green & purple now. so much more fashionable than black.

Gd wkend to all of yous!

jo1972

Morning all :wave:

BHB, maybe you are able just to limit your alcohol intake and that is what suits you rather than quitting completely did you get another appointment at the counselling place?

WB, that foot sounds painful :eek: I hope it recovers soon, lots of cold compresses and elevate it as much as poss

Well, didn't have a chance to get on last night to post my quick 'day 3 done and dusted ' post, so instead I'll say...

I'm on day 4 instead!

I'm so very proud of myself, although I can't say it's been easy it has been 'almost' bearable. First night was easy as I was out at the theatre and 'knew' I wasn't gonna drive and got home so late that I could just take myself straight to bed. Day 2, I kept myself very busy and knew that OH wanted dropping to the pub in our old stomping ground which is a 40min round trip, so didn't get back till gone 10pm so thought I might go to bed if it was bad (it felt a bit better when I got in the house with no alcohol and got me pj's on :rolleyes:), yesterday was odd, I was soooooooo lazy, I was still in my pjs at 6.30pm :eek: (don't think I've ever done that before!) and then decided I needed to go shopping, it then occurred to me that I still had my pjs on at a time when I could've easily have drunk a couple of cans by now :eek:

I have been kept half sane by drinking lilt, I drank 12 cans in 24 hours :eek: that can't be good, but hey least it's not beer

:beer: here's to another day

Hows everyone?

xx

winebox

Hey well done Jo!! 12 cans Lilt??!! - hope it's the sugar-free one or your teeth will dissolve. Still, as you say, better than beer, & whatever gets you through the day especially at the start, & then hopefully the beer habit will no longer be...habit. You are doing brill, you haven't mentioned any horrible side effects so I hope that means withdrawal not too bad??

My foot looks as if it's not been washed for a week, various shades of grey/yellow/green/mauve but swelling is going now. What with that & the red-wine-on-carpet incident I seem to be going thro a very accident-prone phase, the answer to which is.........

Just occurred to me last night I have 5 weeks of out-of school-club fees to pay :eek: which means I'm working for naff all so yet another reason to seriously curb the intake.

I will get the message, eventually . Am with OH so having a couple today but back on the "not on my own" wagon tomorrow. Have to prepare for DD party anyway!!

Good luck to all for today, hope your weather as good as here. Day in the garden coming up.

eselt

Well done Jo:T :T :T - brilliant news- do you realise you have NO ALCOHOL in your system now at all:eek: - scary but great news!!!!!!!

beachbeth

foreign_correspondent wrote: »

This experience has changed the way I see alcohol, I have a different perspective and insight. Just this week I have realised how much society and popular culture reference alcohol as an acceptable way of deaing with things.

foreign_correspondent wrote:

Whilst I am not teetotal it does make you think about how socially and culturally acceptable this substance is.

This is so true. It is regularly shown on tv soaps and other programmes how people drink to drown sorrows, drink to celebrate etc and then it is seen as funny when they are hungover and suffering the next day. This just shows how acceptable the drug is and how lightly most of us take the drinking of alcohol.

Im 42 and lately am finding that vodka gives me a migraine for 2 days, wine gives me diarrhoea and any alcohol makes me quite tired and lethargic. So I am asking myself this morning why, why, why do I still want to drink it???? (My body is obviously trying to tell me something.) Our roast beef lunch is nearly done and I would just love a glass of something while I finish the dinner off and make the gravy. But why do I want it when I know that I will just sleep the afternoon away and then be really tired later?

foreign_correspondent

beachbeth wrote: »

Im 42 and lately am finding that vodka gives me a migraine for 2 days, wine gives me diarrhoea and any alcohol makes me quite tired and lethargic. So I am asking myself this morning why, why, why do I still want to drink it???? (My body is obviously trying to tell me something.)

beachbeth, I agree, your body is trying to tell you something - sadly my friend kept putting down these sort of symptoms as being down to other causes ( a virus, bug etc) and refused to heed them, however in his case it now appears that the symptoms he had were in fact connected to the damage from alcohol which finally killed him.

Good luck, everyone on here is doing so well and trying so hard!!

barshamhillbilly

jo1972 wrote: »

BHB, maybe you are able just to limit your alcohol intake and that is what suits you rather than quitting completely did you get another appointment at the counselling place?

Jo - GREAT JOB ! :T:T:T

Keep up the good work

Nope - I didn't get another appointment - I will see how I go.


Winebox - ouch ! - sounds painful :eek:

Keep up the good work everyone.

BHB

jo1972

Struggling this arvo :undecided

Just got home and see the neighbours are having a BBQ which smells AMAZING!! Plus they are sitting in the afternoon sun supping a few cold beers :mad: This is what I miss, just the relaxing with 1 or 2 on a weekend, having some food, in fact that's the only bit I'm gonna miss. Just really p1ssed off with myself that I let myself go so far down the line that I can never have that again

Still, got in, opened the last lilt in the fridge, bought some cheaper Tesco brand ones that are disgusting and gassy so really got nothing else to enjoy this evening. Don't want to drink coffee all night cos last time I stopped I didn't sleep well and I think that's cos of the coffee.

WB, to answer your question, no I've not had too much in the way of withdrawals except for excessive shaking hands which have calmed down slightly today, I can't even grip :eek:. It's hot anyway so I don't even know if I'm getting the sweats :rotfl: In fact, up until the last half hour I've had it 'fairly' easy.....struggling a bit now, gonna go find summat to do to take my mind off it....just hope that BBQ smell don't start coming in the house, I can't shut the windows and doors cos it's too hot!!!

Hope everyone's okay today?

xx