The giving up/cutting down alcohol support thread!

winebox

Jo - brill, hope it works out for you. haven't posted for a while - pc probs - but really felt for you, reading your post about this is it I'm stopping now. thinking of you & hope you're OK with it.

beth corse I missed you x

Molly dare I ask how you lost so much weight whilst drinking?

Eselt said before re the bloaty tum - my weight has gone up over last year, but also my shape is changing it's all on the waist now, would love to lose that spare tyre. I spose both the weight gain but even more the shape thing is alcohol.

Whilst I was catching up on thread there was, couple of pages back, a lot about confessing one's sins on here, so here goes...
Tues night me & OH were away for over-nighter on our boat (this sounds v grand, we have 40 yr old tub which looks superb due to endless work all winter-long, & like camping it's cheap in school hols, only less civilised!! No shower block....) I have never before done myself an injury when drunk but Tues night dropped oven door panel on foot, huge bloated foot (matches my tum :rotfl: , except foot is black) had to have day off work yesterday & what's worse before this even happened I was being a demented drunk person saying stupid, awful things to OH. He is so patient & I am so lucky but it can't last. When I woke up next day, apart from the throbbing foot I just felt very small at my behaviour . I am no longer allowed to say "large please" when asking for glass of wine in pub. Have to say the "s" word.

It's start of school hols so am vowing to mend my ways or DD will have rubbish 5/6 weeks.

Still not, as Jo is, at point of saying that's it, nothing, but boy am I going to be careful, Tues night was scary to me, a new regrettable milestone, & I am NOT going to drink at home now, things spiralling again lately. Hmmm, same old same old? But, start of school hols is a good landmark, my temper with DD has been short lately & although she can be a *****!! she is only 8 (9 next Wed!) & I'm the only Mum she's got :eek: , it's not fair.

As ever, once I start........I go on & on & on & on my middle name is ariston (another showing-my age comment)

Bismarck

winebox wrote: »

As ever, once I start........I go on & on & on & on my middle name is ariston (another showing-my age comment)

those were the days...they don't do ads like they used to!

I'm fortunate not to have badly hurt myself in cooking while under the influence....remember doing alarming things with a cooked turkey and tray of hot fat on a Christmas afternoon as I was preparing the meal....used to think I was a mixture of Floyd and the Swedish Chef from the Muppets....

jo1972

Evening all :wave:

WB, that injury sounded painful :eek: good luck with being careful over the hols, that's my landmark as well

Shoppy, how are you feeling today?

Bis, you're very quiet at the moment, you ok?

Thanks to everyone for your well done messages, just thought I'd pop on quick and post a quick note to say......

Day 2.....done and dusted

xx

Bismarck

thanks for your concern Jo, I'm actually better than I've been for a long time!

turned a corner workwise that I can't go into too much detail about but suffice to say I'm further down the road to full recovery than I was a few months ago....still dry etc...just busy fixing stuff that got broke a while ago.....making amends kind of thing!

just getting less time to post than I had and, it appears that the folks that do post on here know what they're doing so I don't feel that I need to chip in so much.....it is also quieter - I'm more of a responder kind of person and there's not been much material - if I can say that without offence...

glad you're on the empty wagon with us now Jo......it does get easier!

have a great weekend folks!

tomstickland

It's early o clock on a Sat morning. I didn't even bother buying any beer. I will be drinking a few bottles tonight though.

foreign_correspondent

I have just found this thread and it is really inspiring.

A few days ago I sat with a close family friend as he died, in hospital, from cirrhosis of the liver. Although he was 74, until less than a year ago he had been really lively and active, working part time, running errands for friends and travelling.

He has always enjoyed a drink, but probably not to the extent that many would immediately recognise to be problematic. He worked full time till retirement age.

Even when it became clear that he could not go for a day or two without a drink, I am not sure that I registered. He certainly didnt, and said he just loved a nice glass of whisky or wine.

Even when he became ill (with unpleasant and distressing symptoms which I will not outline here), and was going for tests at the hospital he put it down to a virus and various other things. He only agreed to help from a local alcohol service on his final stay in hospital, and we began to hope for a change in his life. However, very sadly, it was by then too late and he deteriorated and died.

He was the sort of bloke who probably would have made ninety if it wasnt for this, and I would like to thanks all of you who are thinking about your alcohol consumption for having the care for yourselves, and the consideration for your family and friends not to go down the route of drinking too much, blindly and in denial.

This experience has changed the way I see alcohol, I have a different perspective and insight. Just this week I have realised how much society and popular culture reference alcohol as an acceptable way of deaing with things.

The day after the death an acquantance (who didnt know about it) started telling me about the vast amounts he had drunk the evening before, and it was almost a source of pride. There are constant references to drink in TV shows to 'drown your sorrows' etc.

Whilst I am not teetotal it does make you think about how socially and culturally acceptable this substance is. We tend not to worry about young people drinking, but panic about drugs. However, the figures show a different story - if you consider how many deaths alcohol causes in the UK in one year (up to 40, 000) compared to some illegal drugs - eg ecstacy (about 50 a year!), solvents (again, about 50 per year), solvents (less than 50 a year) - even opiates and heroin (less then 1,000) then it makes you wonder how our priorities got so skewed.

Well done all of you, I shall be following your lead.

jo1972

FC, thank you so much for your post, I've got tears in my eyes reading about your friend. I remember my dad used to drink either a glass or 2 of scotch or a can or 2 of riddles bitter every day, it was the norm then to have a pint down the social club at the weekend or have one when indoors watching the racing. He didn't have a problem as such I don't think, doubt he would've had a problem if he didn't have it some days, but it goes to show how these routines can have serious impacts on our health. I was talking to my counsellor last week about the fact that I was then down to 1 can of stella a day, 500ml 5.2% alc and said that it doesn't affect me whatsoever and it's like I've practically given up already, but just drinking that 1 can a day would take me over the women's recommended limit per week which is 14 units by 4.2 units! I am so sorry for your loss FC, please continue to use it to educate people as you have done so well on this thread.

foreign_correspondent

thanks Jo, it was such a sad loss, he was a kind and lovely man in many ways, but I can't help thinking it would have been kinder of him to acknowledge and sort out his drinking, and not put us through this.

I work with young people, and really feel we should be educating them about this more, not just accepting over drinking as a 'normal' part of being young.

I am so glad you are addressing this in your own life, and I think you should be very proud of yourself. :-)

jo1972

It is good for those with drinking problems, like myself, to see what it's like from the other side. Although I think probably that your friend didn't even know he had a problem in the first place, even if he did at the end, he probably spent most of his life not realising.

I started daily drinking 15 years ago and I recognise now that my problem probably started around 12-13 years ago, this was the time when I changed my routine around to suit my drinking patterns and buying alcohol had become the priority in my day. But although I know that now, I didn't actually realise I had a problem until about 4-5 years ago. Although everything I know now was in my brain the whole time I was in denial, I am now learning, through seeing a physcotherapist, that my mind had completely blocked all of these thoughts out and I didn't have a hope in he!! of knowing about it until my brain was ready to drop the barriers. The brain is one amazing protection system, but ironically in this case, it would've been nice to know about it sooner rather than lose 15 years.....

foreign_correspondent

Thanks for your post Jo, for me it is almost reasuring in a way to know that this is how it feels, the denail and the blocking. I have been worried in case we should have done more, but I think this was the barrier, not our shortcomings.

We have been thinking about what could we have done to have stopped him? We had spoken to him, cajoled him, confronted him with it, and he still really didnt honestly seem to feel he had a problem.

We have been beating ourselves up with the guilt, but he was an adult with free will, and, in reality he would only have resented our 'interfering'!

I think when he gave in and agreed to see the alcohol services he really did it to stop us from nagging him, rather than because he felt he needed to.

It is, as you say, as if the brain seems to believe 'drink wont hurt me, it isnt a problem, I enjoy it' etc etc rather than be able to take a step back and look at how it is affecting their lives and their bodies.

I think this person really did not realise, and at the end the illness caused so much confusion that I wonder if he ever realised. Perhaps it is a blessing in a way that his reality became so clouded.

Jo, I completely understand what you say about it would have been good to know sooner, but you know now and that is brilliant. It must be a lot to face up to but it is a tribute to you that you are doing so. I really want to thank you for doing it, I dont know why but I do. I guess because you are doing all you can to ensure you will not put others through this.