Family Holiday - in the dog house!

piptom&AndyPandy

Hi Guys
I agree with the comment about perhaps they couldn't help us re mortgage - but my brother see's things in black and white and at christmas when he picked up a christmas tree - long story got married 15th dec florist supplier let us down needed big tree - for £25, come new yr despite knowing about mortgage all he did was go on and on and on about it. In the end we scraped it together and paid it, but to be honest my family aren't the most sympathetic = long story again but the first 5k of my debt at 19 was caused by my mum and sister asking me to pick things up for christmas presents and not ever paying me back! So I know I seem horrid but before all this happened DMP wise we took our niece and nephew away (my sisters kids) for a week in a caravan and I got given a tenner for them to spend! - We supplied everything and still spent less than £250! - So I guess i'm just starting to feel a bit annoyed. JoeHel and I think the kids thing is a valid point, as I said we did it a lot with friends who have kids and ended up costing us not them. I love children and wouldn't deprive any child of a birthday treat from us or small christmas present, but I simply was made to feel rotten about the fact I didn't want to pay for their share. My best-friend is very logical and said much the same thing as other people here, if it was a hotel I wouldn't be asked to pay for the kids room, plus my sister is getting a steal - in that she's staying on an extra week - and gets the caravan half price! I wouldn't mind but she's supposed to be on benefits and gets more holidays than me - but that's a whole differrent rant!

Will_I_ever_learn?

piptom&AndyPandy wrote: »

They're aware of the situation as there was big family discussion when recently the house was about to be reposessed

In that case, I can't understand why they didn't explicitly check with you that you could afford the contribution that you would be expected to pay BEFORE making the booking...

carrottopsuk wrote: »

If you had all decided to book into a hotel instead of a caravan, you would have expected to pay per room.

ie you & your partner would have paid for your room plus 1/3 share of your parent's room.

The rest of your family would have paid for their own rooms, a third of your parents room plus any rooms that their children needed.

If it was a holiday abroad, likelyhood is that there would be family rooms that had enough beds for the children to stay with their parents, therefore it wouldn't be the price of 2 rooms for a family of 4.... I still think that a 3-way split is fair.

What I don't think is reasonable is the £1500 price tag!! I suspect your sister went for this deal because of the 2nd week. Is she passing back the saving of that 2nd week half price??

carrottopsuk

Will_I_ever_learn? wrote: »

In that case, I can't understand why they didn't explicitly check with you that you could afford the contribution that you would be expected to pay BEFORE making the booking...



If it was a holiday abroad, likelyhood is that there would be family rooms that had enough beds for the children to stay with their parents, therefore it wouldn't be the price of 2 rooms for a family of 4.... I still think that a 3-way split is fair.

I see your point However, if they were abroad the OP may have found cheaper accommodation that suited just 2 people than a more expensive hotel with a family room where her sister in law would have to stay. Personally I think the sister in law is either thoughtless and cannot see things from the OPs point of view or she is taking advantage.


What I don't think is reasonable is the £1500 price tag!! I suspect your sister went for this deal because of the 2nd week. Is she passing back the saving of that 2nd week half price??

Anyway I hope the OP manages to sort it out without too much friction. Good luck

Will_I_ever_learn?

carrottopsuk wrote: »

I see your point However, if they were abroad the OP may have found cheaper accommodation that suited just 2 people than a more expensive hotel with a family room where her sister in law would have to stay. Personally I think the sister in law is either thoughtless and cannot see things from the OPs point of view or she is taking advantage.

Agreed carrottopsuk! A tricky situation that in retrospect could've been avoided so easily! I hope it gets sorted without any major fall out :undecided

G-G_4

if you don't sort your spending out now, you will always feel presured to spend and spend.. i know, because i eventually went bankrupt.

my friends and family were always asking me to go here and there and no excuses were enough for them.. £10 here £30 there, it all caught up with me in the end.

if you ever want to be debt free you have to do this now, not tomorrow, or after the holiday, but now! (not having a go by the way).. x

tell them what you can afford and leave it at that. if you pay anymore you won't enjoy the holiday anyway.

if they don't like it, remind them kindly of the money they owe you.. and if they arn't that sympathetic then why worry what they think.. put yourself first for once.. xx

loobylee

Explain to your mum & dad you can't afford to go - and offer to cook them a special meal at home as a present.
Tell your sister there is no way you can afford the trip so you will not be going - very sorry but you just can't afford it!
The £500+ could go to you next mortgage payment, food shopping for a couple of months etc!!
I am sure your mum and dad will understand. If your sister dosen't straight away she will come round in the end.
Best wishes
Looby

piptom&AndyPandy

Thanks everyone, I spoke to my sister briefly last night and tried to explain with not much success, no word from other sibblings, but a friend went online and provisionally booked for the same party size (last night) and it came out at £810 for all of us for the week, so I'm a little in shock! I also got informed my tiny ickle 1.1 car needs to be carrying my mum, and my sisters 2 kids plus luggage to the holiday camp, again no interest in that we don't live in same city etc, but also that my ickle car couldn't manage 2 grown ups and luggage in the back - at the wedding I picked up a uni friend and her mum and my car at every dip kept clanking the road! Again thanks for not making me fee like a freak! but I take everyone's advice on board £584 is a base mortgage payment so £520 holiday is out of the question. Our friends asked us if we'd like to go to Yarmouth with them in oct half term £90 for a caravan! I was like whoa. I will let you know the outcome but am sticking to my guns

Xxxxx

boredofbeingathome

I agree with you the whole way- stick to your guns. My family is similar, by brother came with us to Malta and we would buy drinks etc and include him in these, we never expected drinks back and he usually obliged by not doing so. He was on a budget and would spend so much we respected that, he did buy what he felt comfortable doing and as he was a single chap we really couldn't ask for anything different. I can't understand why they are asking for more than your fair share? i understand why you feel obliged or why they think you should feel obliged- but fair is fair. bookings should have been with full consultation and i think if you go on the holiday in these circumstances it will be ruined. It will be more endurance than a holiday and will ruin your parents birthdays and your budget. keep going.

UK007BullDog

Dont feel obligated. Stick to your guns. They know your situation but do not seem to care.

In fact I would throw a curveball and tell them you cannot afford the holiday and will not be going nor pay towards it. Say your car is going on the brink and you will be unable to taxi them up there. Maybe that will wake them up.

Your friends are absolutely amazing! I would rather go with them. Holiday with family will be a horrible situation.

Just buy your dad a nice present. That is all you need to do.

StressedSteph

Hmmmm It's abit strange that your friend provisionally booked the same holiday and it came out at only £810 .

It sounds like your sister is either stupidly rubbish with money, booking the caravan through a VERY expensive operator OR someone is trying to con you :mad: .

If people try to bully me into doing things, I usually run in the opposite direction. If they really did know that you were nearly repossesed and you are on a DMP then I would cancel the whole thing. How DARE they book an crazily expensive caravan, which IMHO is a rip off, when they know your situation.

I have a three night stay booked through The Sun Holiday vouchers in a two bedroom caravan this June for £60. I doubt very much the full week is much over £150.

I expect once you get there after paying all this money, it will be a horrendous holiday. If I were you I would rather have a peaceful holiday just yourselves. For that kind of money you could go abroad!!:eek:

Good luck hun and stick to your guns whatever you decide xxx