Do I "live" with my partner?

duchy

There's two issues there Fran
If both were financially independent and not claiming benefit then they don't have to answer to the benefits agency BUT that doesn't mean that friends of one or the other won't feel that a man or woman moving himself in, not contibuting, expecting their food to be provided etc isn't taking advantage. Their business for sure as they aren't expecting others to pay for that choice but people may still have opinions that one person is been a door mat or been taken for a ride.

stressedofdevon

Many years ago I was a visiting officer trained to gather all the information from customers of the benefits agency so that adjudication officers could decide whether they were or were not 'living together'.

The way I understand it is that there is no set criteria as to amount of time, tasks undertaken together etc. As other posters have pointed out relationships with or without benefits come in all shapes and sizes - what about men who work away during the week or are in the armed forces? Their families should still be supported by them, they do not share daily chores such as childcare and they do not spend nights there during the week, but they surely would agree that they are one half of a couple and make financial provision accordingly.

I have also seen things from the other side as have largely brought up my two girls alone, and while I was a civil servant I also had to claim some top up benefits. I certainly could not have afforded to have a boyfriend spending that much time in my home and not contributing. In fact, there was one and I could not cope with him keep drinking the orange juice which was a special treat for the kids and eating their snacks, so he had to go! I recommend a long hard look at this relationship and what the future may hold for you.

Hope this helps x

Kimitatsu

The main problem is that the law is not clear. On most benefit forms you are asked if you are living as a couple i.e. that you both make a financial contribution to the household, technically this could be as simple as buying shopping every week, :rolleyes:

I saw a case recently where a couple had been claiming benefits seperately whilst living in the same household. In the court of law they were deemed not to have been living together as a couple, despite having a 2 year old child together hence were not guilty of benefit fraud, however in the eyes of HMRC they were and so were liable for a benefit overpayment.

I think it is very difficult either way, and I can sympathise with the OP, but perhaps you should talk to YOUR council and see what their view is, after all its them that pay the HB.

It would be interesting to hear the outcome of the conversation

MrsE_2

stressedofdevon wrote: »

In fact, there was one and I could not cope with him keep drinking the orange juice which was a special treat for the kids and eating their snacks, so he had to go! x

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I'm not laughing at you:D

But this is a classic oneliner:D

Jo_R_2

terryw wrote: »

The young man has a home elsewhere which he contributes to. The full CT is paid on that dwelling. He stays at night with the OP but makes no financial contribution (lucky lad). He does not act in a parential capacity with the child. He is certainly not "living as husband and wife" to use the jargon. He is free to go or to stay. He is a free agent and can stay with his mum or his girlfriend. And have a night off or see his pals when he wants.

That's fair. At this point I don't think he is here enough to start asking him for money. I don't feel he uses anything whilst he's here that I wouldn't be using anyway, I only buy food for me and the girls (strictly a veggie household and he's a seasoned meat eater!) If he were here every night, coming home from work and we sat down and had tea together, and he spent his weekends here then I would definitely be asking him for a contribution because he would be living here then.

I must admit I find it fascinating that people have said the fact he stays over most nights means we live together. Are people saying this because they think that constitutes living together, or because they think that's what the law says?

Smashing

If you weren't getting HB, would you require him to be contributing to make ends meet? Are benefits allowing you to have this arrangement?

Just something they may consider.

It doesn't matter what we think, only what the DWP think.

Fran

Jo_R wrote: »

I must admit I find it fascinating that people have said the fact he stays over most nights means we live together. Are people saying this because they think that constitutes living together, or because they think that's what the law says?

It's just one of the factors they consider when making their decision. However they aren't allowed to ask you outright if you have sex! Because it's obviously complicated they will look at the overall situation.

MrsE_2

Smashing wrote: »

If you weren't getting HB, would you require him to be contributing to make ends meet? Are benefits allowing you to have this arrangement?

Just something they may consider.

It doesn't matter what we think, only what the DWP think.

I think this poster has a good point. If you were not getting benefits you couldn't "afford" him as a boyfriend.
Honestly, I think you should look carefully at a relationship with a man who chooses to have his cake & eat it too.
Basically hes got a great deal, enough men have made little remarks about what a cushy set up he has going on here, does that not make you think?
I not meaning to sound rude, but have you ever heard men say "why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free", don't let him do this to you.

If benefits weren't paying for you & your kids, you would be looking for a "different" type of partner. I'm not saying you would be after a man to pay your bills, but you would look to your future options & see a financial partnership with a loving man would be a good choice.

Being on benefits is allowing you to continue this relationship. Sorry to sound old fashioned but he should want to support you - in every way.

pandas66

[quote=Jo_R;8855965
I must admit I find it fascinating that people have said the fact he stays over most nights means we live together. Are people saying this because they think that constitutes living together, or because they think that's what the law says?[/quote]
I think 'most' nights is usually thought of as living together.

I'll ask a sticky question, if you do get a home visit will you remove any trace of him such as his toothbrush or will the house be as it is now?

If they give you warning obviously, if they don't and they just turn up will you worry about the amount of his pocessions are on view.

Smashing

Fran wrote: »

However they aren't allowed to ask you outright if you have sex!

Can you imagine?

"No we are not having sex."

- "We will need to see evidence to support this."

:dance: