Do I "live" with my partner?

terryw

MrsE wrote: »

If hes staying at your house 5 or 6 nights pw & not chipping in with the running costs of your home then I would be very sus about him as a partner if I was you.
He's probably bunging him mum a paltry few quid for a room hes never in & reaping the benefits of you as a wife/live-in-lover he doesn't have to share the financial burdon with.

Mrs E, I have got to agree with you absolutely. I bet his mum does his ironing and washing as well. The young man has got it cracked! And people decry youth for lack of initiative! This young man will go a long way.

nottslass_2

so if it was the other way round, and the op stayed over regularly at her BF's house would she be classed as living together even though she still has her own home where all her stuff is kept,pays the bills and is registered for council tax etc ? Couples can still have very happy long term relationships with each other with out actually setting up home together.

Surly if the benefits agency were to try to take somebody to court for benefit fraud they would have to have more evidence that a couple were living together than the say so of a few nosy neighbors, they would have to investigate the situation fully and if they are genuinely living apart it would be easy to prove - with bills,bank statements etc

poet123

To be honest it is less about whether he does contribute and more about whether in the eyes of the DSS he should contribute. If he is effectively using your home as his by sleeping there/using gas/elec etc for 5 nights a week they would class him as living there and expect him (rather than the state)to contribute to your costs.

They may even deem an amount he should pay as a "lodger" rather than "living together" Which in my opinion is not unreasonable,if you choose not to ask/allow him to do so the benefits agency is not liable to pick up the shortfall.

As a former fraud officer (although not au fait with current regulations)I think that is how it would be viewed,and whilst the investigation is underway benefit may be suspended.

Better to be upfront and declare the situation and let them decide than keep speculating,and end up overpaid and having to repay weekly or worse.

duchy

It is food for thought-some people will refer to any kind of relationship as having a partner or OH-even if it isn't a particually committed relationship.
The OP says her boyfriend is spending the vast majority of his leisure hours at her home yet is making zero financial contribution-not even paying towards food he eats, towards the TV he watches, etc.
Would I let a boyfriend do that ? No-if he's here regually then he should be contributing-do I want other people to pay for his food or TV from my benefits ? No. But like terryw I'd not want a b/f who thought I was a meal ticket-especially if it was putting me at risk of prosecution.
If you choose to accept benefit you also choose to accept their rules and if that means sending your boyfriend home/spending time in BOTH homes rather than one-then whyis that such an issue? In all honesty if I'm "with" someone but am not ready to commit to a full relationship I wouldn't feel the need to see them every single night anyway-if a relationship is that dependent then maybe it should be escalating anyway.
Some men do take advantage and don't contribute when really they should be-but then it's the women who are happy to let them, pay for them and risk getting into strife with the authorities for it.

BARGAINHUNTER!

Why not ring the benefits agency and ask? You could just say that you are thinking of ltting your boyfriend stay over for 6 nights a week and see what they say. My gut feeling would be that he would be deemed to be living at your house! I cannot believe that you allow him to stay over so often and he gives you nothing for it! Surely he must contribute to your grocery bill at the very least! Also, do you claim single persons Council Tax? Again, I think the Council Tax people will class your house as not having a single occupancy, which it dosen't!

BARGAINHUNTER!

And surely any benefits that you claim now that you would not be intitled to if you were classed as living together would be offset by the fact that you could ask him to make a financial contribution to the household and he would not be paying his mum board!

I,M_SAD

What did benefits,HB say regarding this situation?

wendy+5

The words 'having his cake and eating it' spring to mind!

Broken_hearted

Its simple he is living there most of the time, if the benefits wern't in place you would declair yourselves as living together. It's why single parents get such a hard time most arn't single at all.

Fran

wendy+5 wrote: »

The words 'having his cake and eating it' spring to mind!

But it's not really is it? If it wasn't for Housing Benefit it would be perfectly acceptable that a couple have their own places and set their relationship to a level that suits them.