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Please help...cant take anymore
Serendipity_phoenix
Posts: 231 Forumite
Goodness...don't know where to start
I really need help, and this is my last bit of fight to try and get it!
I am new to this, and asking for help, so please be kind, and bear with me as it is a long story...... but believe me this is it shortened!
I am only 26 but have had a hard time of it, in 2005 I divorced my husband after 10 years of abuse starting with rape when i was 14, ending with me in a mental hospital on suicide watch 24/7 for 3 months.
I left with nothing but my little boy who was 3 at the time, after a long fight i got some child support through the csa and a few bits from the house (sofa, washing machine) With the help of my mum (she paid the deposit), i got a home to rent and housing benefit/income support after a long and hard fight with the council, My ex was not meant to know where i was, but was stalking me and police where called after he was violent outside my home, I sold my car to pay off debts that my ex had left me with, but still had an overdraft with HSBC...I was functioning only for my son!
Sometime later (after swearing i would never have anything to do with men again) i met my now husband- funny how fate laughs at your plans!
We decided to get married and had a very small registry office wedding and drink after that we could afford as his dad paid for that! we had no honeymoon (in-fact we still to this day haven't had a date or honeymoon)
We did everything right at the council and filled in more housing benefit forms to tell of change of circumstances etc, We were informed by housing that this would class as a new claim and the waiting list was 6 weeks for the paper work to be looked at - this is where it all starts
With rent of £650 per month and council tax we were sinking fast, I only got a couple of hundred csa p.m that went on bills of gas, water, elec and my husband only brought home about £600p.m
I took out a flexi loan with HSBC to cover rent as my £1000 overdraft was now maxed out, plus they were charging us left right and center for the overdraft and going over it, each month they would write saying they had agreed a "informal overdraft" and charge us £250 for doing so, and £25-50 every time they wrote or we went over.
My husband at the same time became sick and was on SSP, we went without food to try and meet the rent each month, after a long time (4 months) our housing benefit kicked in, but the amount we were backdated didn't cover the amount we had paid out plus the fees and charges, plus i had to reclaim a 3rd time when my husband was just on SSP, at the same timeI happened to find out that my husband had a few debts and a bad credit history that he had not ever told me about, I heard about the bank charges being reclaimed when it was first an issue and wrote to the bank asking for all the last 6yrs statements, I wrote to all my husbands creditors using templates from debt help agency, (none of which would help because the total was only about £5000), only one of the owed companies responded who we started to pay off a one pound a month
At that time I was also trying to deal with my ex as he had resurfaced and was wanting to see my little boy (who is terrified of him) so that started in the courts with me having to pay for legal aid help.
Other things went wrong too like my little cheap car died, the hoover got stolen, the kettle and laptop died... Never rains but pours!
We opened a new bank account with halifax, the basic kind that you cant go overdrawn with and moved all DD's and SO's there.
When the 28 wks SSP was up my husband went on to incapacity benefit, this of course messed up housing again, we where reassessed but came out worse off, I still don't know how the council worked this out, but because he got £6 a wk more they reduced our housing and council tax benefit by £450 a month
We had a £200 council tax bill that went to court as we couldn't pay, and bailiffs threaten to turn up from more old debt my husband had when he was younger, and the companies i had written to that didnt accept we couldnt pay. We are still getting these, even though some are over six years old
At that time I had worked out that HSBC owed us in charges £2500 before adding on interest!
I asked for the money, but they came back with a offer of £1500, we didnt take it simply because we wanted enough to pay them off completely..so pay off the overdraft and flexi loan which would be £2000, we explained this to them, even offering to put it in a contract that this is what we would do with the money, but they said no, then the court case kicked off, so they said screw you more or less, we wrote to the ombudsman who is waiting for the court case to be heard of course. I heard you can still take them to court privately is that right? and argue the stay if they have caused you servere financial hardship?
HSBC then decided they wanted the flexi loan payed off, They where trying to take the £40 repayment fee from the overdrawn account every month, when that was failing they were changing us for not paying off the loan and the fact they had tried to take it out the overdrawn account, I couldn't put £40 into the overdrawn account to go out for the Felix loan payment as by then it was £200 over the overdraft and got swallowed, I asked them if i could pay it from a different account, they said no, it has to be the one it was set up with, they phoned me daily about this,(since moving dont have new number) each time i explained I wanted to pay, but from a different account, they said no, pay off the £200 to get the account back into normal overdraft, I explained i didnt have it, and was involved with trying to get the charges back, but still they charged us, and are still hounding us.
Then we got a note put through the door, my landlords brother was returning to England after living on his luxury yacht and wanted the house, they gave us 2 months to get out, we had less than nothing, let alone a deposit, fee's moving money and 1st months rent up front.
I went to the council and CAB, the council wrote to my landlord saying he needed to do things legally, with made him kick off! They couldnt home us, they didnt have anything and didnt pay deposits, before they could do anything we were told we would need to live past the time the landlord wanted us out, then be serviced by a court order before they would house us in a b&b, and we would need to leave all our things or have the council put them in storage and us in debt to the council for that! Our land lord lived more or less in our back yard, so that was fun, The CAB was no help,
We decided that if we had to move then we might as well move out of the area that we hated, plus during all of this I was putting myself through college to become a counsellor, and i wanted to do the next course that was offered in cornwall (i passed all my exams 1st time!) not bad for someone that was told for years she was thick!
I sold everything we had, sofas, furniture, everything, and we raised enough to pay a deposit on a place in cornwall and pay the fees....just(it was touch and go if the credit search went through) I still dont know how it did!
We moved ourselves, and I had to set up and use a £250 overdraft to get a van and petrol as we were left with nothing. we lived without heating for november and december as we couldnt afford it, and the roof leaked on to our bed, and the insurance company will not pay out, neither will our landlord, so we dont have a bed, we are on the floor, which is hell as i have a serious spinal condition.
we have about £2500 debts to pay off plus the HSBC amounts, but I just dont know how
HSBC have now issued me with a default notice and are demanding the overdraft and the flexi loan amounts = £2500
we have £2300 of debt i am trying to pay off slowly but everyone wants it now, and no one will help because to them it is such a small amount. should i try to consolidate? i dont even know if i would get a loan.
£300 is council tax where we used to live
£200 is BT
£300 that powergen say we owe them
everyone wanting it now.....
we only get, housing/council tax, that we still need to top up the rent with, child benefit and child tax credit (that = the top up) my csa which is for the dd's of bills i.e water, insurance,elec.. and my husbands incapacity, we are struggling to even buy food sometimes, let alone pay people off.
I am in court again as my ex kicked off when i moved out of the area, up to then he was still stalking me, my little boy (now 6) has been forced to see him, but comes back saying he has been hit and shouted at, and has the psychological evidence to prove it, but the court will not listen
my health is awful (i have post traumatic stress) and am clinically depressed
my credit history is knackered, something that up to all this was perfect, my husband still ill
and i am terrified we will be made homeless again, there is nothing left, and no credit score
and we have this debt, everyday a letter come with threat of court action, and we have no money, life is so hard, and i cant take any more of it
Any help...please
thank you so much for reading x
Please also read my other question, it explains about another bank that is now after us for £300 after my husbands work went bust (it is a short one honestly)
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=753443
I really need help, and this is my last bit of fight to try and get it!
I am new to this, and asking for help, so please be kind, and bear with me as it is a long story...... but believe me this is it shortened!
I am only 26 but have had a hard time of it, in 2005 I divorced my husband after 10 years of abuse starting with rape when i was 14, ending with me in a mental hospital on suicide watch 24/7 for 3 months.
I left with nothing but my little boy who was 3 at the time, after a long fight i got some child support through the csa and a few bits from the house (sofa, washing machine) With the help of my mum (she paid the deposit), i got a home to rent and housing benefit/income support after a long and hard fight with the council, My ex was not meant to know where i was, but was stalking me and police where called after he was violent outside my home, I sold my car to pay off debts that my ex had left me with, but still had an overdraft with HSBC...I was functioning only for my son!
Sometime later (after swearing i would never have anything to do with men again) i met my now husband- funny how fate laughs at your plans!
We decided to get married and had a very small registry office wedding and drink after that we could afford as his dad paid for that! we had no honeymoon (in-fact we still to this day haven't had a date or honeymoon)
We did everything right at the council and filled in more housing benefit forms to tell of change of circumstances etc, We were informed by housing that this would class as a new claim and the waiting list was 6 weeks for the paper work to be looked at - this is where it all starts
With rent of £650 per month and council tax we were sinking fast, I only got a couple of hundred csa p.m that went on bills of gas, water, elec and my husband only brought home about £600p.m
I took out a flexi loan with HSBC to cover rent as my £1000 overdraft was now maxed out, plus they were charging us left right and center for the overdraft and going over it, each month they would write saying they had agreed a "informal overdraft" and charge us £250 for doing so, and £25-50 every time they wrote or we went over.
My husband at the same time became sick and was on SSP, we went without food to try and meet the rent each month, after a long time (4 months) our housing benefit kicked in, but the amount we were backdated didn't cover the amount we had paid out plus the fees and charges, plus i had to reclaim a 3rd time when my husband was just on SSP, at the same timeI happened to find out that my husband had a few debts and a bad credit history that he had not ever told me about, I heard about the bank charges being reclaimed when it was first an issue and wrote to the bank asking for all the last 6yrs statements, I wrote to all my husbands creditors using templates from debt help agency, (none of which would help because the total was only about £5000), only one of the owed companies responded who we started to pay off a one pound a month
At that time I was also trying to deal with my ex as he had resurfaced and was wanting to see my little boy (who is terrified of him) so that started in the courts with me having to pay for legal aid help.
Other things went wrong too like my little cheap car died, the hoover got stolen, the kettle and laptop died... Never rains but pours!
We opened a new bank account with halifax, the basic kind that you cant go overdrawn with and moved all DD's and SO's there.
When the 28 wks SSP was up my husband went on to incapacity benefit, this of course messed up housing again, we where reassessed but came out worse off, I still don't know how the council worked this out, but because he got £6 a wk more they reduced our housing and council tax benefit by £450 a month
We had a £200 council tax bill that went to court as we couldn't pay, and bailiffs threaten to turn up from more old debt my husband had when he was younger, and the companies i had written to that didnt accept we couldnt pay. We are still getting these, even though some are over six years old
At that time I had worked out that HSBC owed us in charges £2500 before adding on interest!
I asked for the money, but they came back with a offer of £1500, we didnt take it simply because we wanted enough to pay them off completely..so pay off the overdraft and flexi loan which would be £2000, we explained this to them, even offering to put it in a contract that this is what we would do with the money, but they said no, then the court case kicked off, so they said screw you more or less, we wrote to the ombudsman who is waiting for the court case to be heard of course. I heard you can still take them to court privately is that right? and argue the stay if they have caused you servere financial hardship?
HSBC then decided they wanted the flexi loan payed off, They where trying to take the £40 repayment fee from the overdrawn account every month, when that was failing they were changing us for not paying off the loan and the fact they had tried to take it out the overdrawn account, I couldn't put £40 into the overdrawn account to go out for the Felix loan payment as by then it was £200 over the overdraft and got swallowed, I asked them if i could pay it from a different account, they said no, it has to be the one it was set up with, they phoned me daily about this,(since moving dont have new number) each time i explained I wanted to pay, but from a different account, they said no, pay off the £200 to get the account back into normal overdraft, I explained i didnt have it, and was involved with trying to get the charges back, but still they charged us, and are still hounding us.
Then we got a note put through the door, my landlords brother was returning to England after living on his luxury yacht and wanted the house, they gave us 2 months to get out, we had less than nothing, let alone a deposit, fee's moving money and 1st months rent up front.
I went to the council and CAB, the council wrote to my landlord saying he needed to do things legally, with made him kick off! They couldnt home us, they didnt have anything and didnt pay deposits, before they could do anything we were told we would need to live past the time the landlord wanted us out, then be serviced by a court order before they would house us in a b&b, and we would need to leave all our things or have the council put them in storage and us in debt to the council for that! Our land lord lived more or less in our back yard, so that was fun, The CAB was no help,
We decided that if we had to move then we might as well move out of the area that we hated, plus during all of this I was putting myself through college to become a counsellor, and i wanted to do the next course that was offered in cornwall (i passed all my exams 1st time!) not bad for someone that was told for years she was thick!
I sold everything we had, sofas, furniture, everything, and we raised enough to pay a deposit on a place in cornwall and pay the fees....just(it was touch and go if the credit search went through) I still dont know how it did!
We moved ourselves, and I had to set up and use a £250 overdraft to get a van and petrol as we were left with nothing. we lived without heating for november and december as we couldnt afford it, and the roof leaked on to our bed, and the insurance company will not pay out, neither will our landlord, so we dont have a bed, we are on the floor, which is hell as i have a serious spinal condition.
we have about £2500 debts to pay off plus the HSBC amounts, but I just dont know how
HSBC have now issued me with a default notice and are demanding the overdraft and the flexi loan amounts = £2500
we have £2300 of debt i am trying to pay off slowly but everyone wants it now, and no one will help because to them it is such a small amount. should i try to consolidate? i dont even know if i would get a loan.
£300 is council tax where we used to live
£200 is BT
£300 that powergen say we owe them
everyone wanting it now.....
we only get, housing/council tax, that we still need to top up the rent with, child benefit and child tax credit (that = the top up) my csa which is for the dd's of bills i.e water, insurance,elec.. and my husbands incapacity, we are struggling to even buy food sometimes, let alone pay people off.
I am in court again as my ex kicked off when i moved out of the area, up to then he was still stalking me, my little boy (now 6) has been forced to see him, but comes back saying he has been hit and shouted at, and has the psychological evidence to prove it, but the court will not listen
my health is awful (i have post traumatic stress) and am clinically depressed
my credit history is knackered, something that up to all this was perfect, my husband still ill
and i am terrified we will be made homeless again, there is nothing left, and no credit score
and we have this debt, everyday a letter come with threat of court action, and we have no money, life is so hard, and i cant take any more of it
Any help...please
thank you so much for reading x
Please also read my other question, it explains about another bank that is now after us for £300 after my husbands work went bust (it is a short one honestly)
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=753443
:heart: BIG Thank you to Competition posters & the person who created the "entered" button! 
0
Comments
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Hi,
I'm afraid I can't offer you much practical advice (but I know you are going to get loads of great stuff by tomorrow!) but just wanted to say big hugs and to let you know someone is around listening to you at this time of the night. These boards are great so stick around!
ml xxx0 -
I can't really advise on the bank charges/financial difficulties as i wouldn't want to give incorrect info - but i promise that someone will be along tomorrow who will.
I didnt want to just read and go - and wanted to offer a little support if i could.
Please don't give up now - you have been through so much and you are still standing - you will get to the end of this - although im sure it doesn't feel like it now.
It sounds like you have been let down by lots of different people in the past and i'm sure that makes it difficult to believe help is out there.
I'm sure that others will talk to you about cccs etc - try not to let past experiences put you off getting the help you need for yourself, son and OH.
You have take a massive first step by posting your story on here - i'm sure you wont regret it for one minute.
Sending you hugs x0 -
I promise you some one will come who can help you. You have managed thus far hon and I am sure you will get through this too.
Right now the best thing you can do is get some sleep and know that when you look here again in the morning someone will have a plan for you and some answers.
Meanwhile, horrible though it is do write down the various debts and get your paper work sorted so you know what you have to pay. that is easily the worse part of the whole getting started bit.
just hang on till the morning and this wonderful site will help and please know you are not alone in this.
xxxxBuffyxxxNevertheless she persisted.0 -
Personally i dont know how you have managed so far, you are by far the most amazing person i have ever known, which is why i love you more than anything in the world.
Thank you for the nice supporting messages everyone, our life as you can see is a little bit skew wiff at the moment.0 -
I'm going to bump this up.I'm not practical enough to help you but I do think there will be many more people on here who can.I know usually you're asked to post a SOA as a starting point.I have used CAB to help sort out my debts and would recommend them as a starting point
Yatman34 I'm not sure if your help is the way to go.Only my personal opinion. Joining a club and "Incredible income opportunity" rings alarm bells with me.
Digitalsgirl keep posting on this site.I know there are some incredible people on here with a wealth of knowledge.
good luck to you.I will keep reading to see what advice you receive
lost my way but now I'm back ! roll on 2013
spc member 72
0 -
CRIKEY!! Well - theres one positive thing - you have each other. Thats one blessing.
Sure someone will be along later who can help.
Note: Please note that the vast majority of people who post on this Board are genuine and will be a great source of help and comfort. But please be careful about people who have only started posting very recently (as in this month or last month) and only have a very few posts to their name - we do get "spammers" occasionally on this Board (the very recent join date and very few posts is one way we recognise they are not genuine posters). Another way to tell who is a genuine poster is that you will see they have been "thanked" a noticeable number of times underneath the Post Count figure underneath their name (ie being "thanked" means people have found their posts are useful and/or agree with them). I may very well be doing yatman34 an injustice (in which case I apologise) - but I'm wondering a bit if he is "genuinely" out to help you. If he is - then he will prove himself subsequently - but I have suspicions that he is a spammer and out to get you even further into trouble. Even more trouble is the last thing you need.
Keep your chin up and start writing out that SOA that everyone asks for on this Board - so they can see where they can help you. A SOA means Statement of Affairs - you list all income coming in and from which source on the one hand. On the other hand you list all bills/debts/living expenses and what they are for.
Best of luck.
Edit: I've just studied Yatman34's home page - and I VERY SERIOUSLY DOUBT WHETHER HE IS FOR REAL - so do avoid him.0 -
Hi Digitalsgirl.
I can't offer any practical advice but you can be sure that there plenty of good folk on these boards who can and will.
Stick with it, you're not alone, it will get better and if it helps at all, there's a BBBIIIIIIIIGGGGGG DFW hug on it's way to you from me :j :j :j
Martyn.LBM: 12.2.08.Debt-free as of July '09 :j and determined not to go there, ever again :mad:DFW Nerd Club #902 Proud to have dealt with my debts.0 -
I've just studied Yatman34's home page - and I VERY SERIOUSLY DOUBT WHETHER HE IS FOR REAL - so do avoid him.
He's a spammer Post removed and profile reported to Abuse to be removed DFW Nerd #025DFW no more! Officially debt free 2017 - now joining the MFW's!
My DFW Diary - blah- mildly funny stuff about my journey0 -
Digitalgirl
Lots of (((hugs))) and please dont give up. You have been through the mill but are still standing. CCCS or another Non profit organisation (see resourse bar at top of page) will be a good start.
Also an SOA on here to help see if we can save/find any extra from your outgoings.:jMay 2013 new beginnings:j0 -
Big hugs and so sorry you have been through so much.I think the CAB should be your 1st port of call0
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