Please help...cant take anymore

Serendipity_phoenix

How do you get the quotes and answers like you did in your message back along??
I cant work it out:o

Sue-UU wrote: »

The Abel does state "Moving on to the items you'd like to budget for:" so she/he does recognise that fact.
They didnt seem to recognize the fact i wasnt already spending these by the way they answered, so i was just trying to put straight
Sorry digitalsgirl, BUT you can afford all the food for all those animals yet at times you haven't been able to feed your Son?!!!!!! That seems terrible. Why buy 2 parrots when you can barely feed yourselves? They certainly aren't cheap to feed either. Another fact with them is that they won't do your health any good as they can so easily cause chest complaints. Please rethink them with your little lad's health at least.
Actually the animals had food that i was using up, as you dont tend to go through bulk bought bird seed like bread and milk and human food
I have had my parrots for over 5 years so did not buy them when i was in financial difficulties, thank you
Birds are fine for your health, they only ever cause a problem if you have a feather dust allergy, please dont judge before knowing the facts.

The cat and dog could both have cheaper bags of food and the cheapest here is £7 for a good sized bag. Fish food is minimal and not worth including or joking about.

If you cant see the funny side of things sometimes or take a joke, then i feel very sorry for those around you, a sense a humor is what has kept me alive

You say about it being 20 minutes to buy a pint of milk....but I'd hope you'd never be in that position. If you really do live that far from civilisation then do a proper shopping list so you never leave anything out and only need to shop once a week or even every other week is easily possible. Cut down on the use of that car and you could have your hair trimmed every couple of months (in the same trip as the shopping) or as you could afford it, far better than never and will make you feel better. If you're Mum is severely disabled why doesn't she have a carer to save you the petrol?

Thanks for this sensible answer, but we already always do a list and stick to it, as you cant just pop back if you have forgotten something! would you like to come and see where we live? as we are that position, when faced with homelessness beggars cant be choosers, i thought i would never get used to it here, as it is so in the middle of nowhere, but i love it now, we used to live somewhere that had buses through the night, more than one train station, but we dont even have a bus route here!
My mother wont have a carer, but on the plus side like i say, she is in the process of buying a house down here, as for the other use, i am afraid that when you are in the middle of a court case you cant just say to the judge "sorry i need to cut down on the use of my car"
There are far cheaper BB ISPs around than BT, that's one of the dearest! Ours is £14 a month, we could never afford what you're paying so I should get your husband to check them out asap.
Believe me i hate BT, we will be getting rid as soon as possible!
Am i right in saying though, that BT is the only option for line rental?? I hope not
If you're both not working then why would you wish to spend £10 per month for the Dentist and why would you wish to spend £10 a month on glasses or £24 per month on Michael? The love you give him will do him fine. As for trips out, honeymoon etc: hopefully they'll come in the future IF you cut down NOW! My OH and I have never had a honeymoon either in over 30 years of marriage. Try to get your hubby to get his ailments sorted out so that he can get back to work, that would be a great benefit to you all and make him (and you all) feel so much better.
Where i used to live we had to still pay towards dental nhs treatment, i though that was the same all over? For the glasses I thought to put £10 aside a month so that when i need them, I can afford them, yes hubby does need to get sorted, but we can do is pester the doctors(which we are doing)

Re the mobiles: Why ever spend all that you do when landline calls would be far cheaper anyway? It would make far more sense to get rid of both and buy one cheap PAYG and share it.

We are all trying to help you, but you seem to be coming back with negatives so far, think on digitalsgirl as, if I'm correct, so far you don't seem to want to help yourselves or cut down much at all. I really so wish you all the best in life, but go through those finances again, along with the advice you've had above and see just how many saving you can make yourselves.
I wouldnt be taking up my time if i didnt want help, but so far you are slagging me off for having animals that i have had long long before money troubles, and a car, which we could not do without, sorry if they sound like negatives but i am just trying to explain the situation as it is.
We have not starved ourselves and then bought pet food!, if i didn't need the car believe me i wouldnt use it, i love the thought of walk my son to school for example, there is nothing we could cut down on, the list of things i want to budget for is a "wish list" for us to get to eventually, the mobiles and Bt we have been tied into with 18mnt contracts, which where taken when thing were ok
Thanks for your time and well wishes sue
Sue

Keeping_Positive

It sounds as if you have already put alot of thought into what you spend each month and no one else but you knows the whole situation. Keep focused every day on what you spend (Im sure you already do anyway) and hopefully you will see light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Good luck xx

Serendipity_phoenix

Thank you ticklepenny
That is so helpful :T
and ceridwen
i love that idea, there is a area in the garden i have already eyed up!:T

Cantcope we really cant afford to move, we have nothing at all, let alone fee's, deposit, monthly rent in advance, plus we wouldn't pass a credit check now, however i have put us on the council waiting list now, so fingers crossed
Thanks for letting others know there are places like mine where people live

**I like your little saying at the end of your post Cantcope, the mirror one, it struck a cord with me, it is so true, people often say eyes are the windows to the soul, strange how many people dont or refuse to look through though, isnt it?**
Thank you to all of you, you are stars! :A

Serendipity_phoenix

TheAble wrote: »

Your post about the home insurance doesn't really make sense - regardless of the bed and the state of the place, you don't need to pay buildings insurance. £25,000 of contents insurance should only cost around a fiver a month and if you go through Quidco you'll be able to recoup the bulk of that.

There's also no way that £80 a month on mobiles is going to come in cheaper than a home phone bill.

Car Maintenance, car tax, birthdays, non-essentials, wood, oil, helath pills - these are all in the "items I'd like to budget for" section which apparently you don't spend anything on. Are we to take it that, despite having a car, suffering from stress and needing to heat your home, you spend nothing on these items at all?

So forgive my confusion.

I dont have buildings insurance, and my contents is expensive as up to 2005 i never had anything in my name before.
I found a excellent insurance company/policy but unfortunately had a couple of claims in the 1st year, then this company was taken over about 6 months ago by royal sun, they put the prices up by quite a lot, I was due to renew in may, but wont, with everything going on (as in trying to find a place to live) when they put the price up it wasnt 1st on my list of things to do! Of course now i am trying to make a claim, cause as soon as we moved in we had a leak, but as soon as that is sorted, i will be changing and will try this Quidco that i hadnt heard of before, So thanks.
At the moment, things in the "ideal list" that are essentials have been bought like car tax, mot, coal as soon as we can, but not budgeted for, all the other things like pocket money, gifts, dental, hairdresser etc, we have done without
It is properly my way of doing things that have confused people!
I have put my ideal situation in as well as facts, I remember people always tell you to remember everything when doing one of these soa, so i thought if i put what i am not saving/budgeting for then people could give there input as to what should be included. It is the first time i have done anything like this.
BTW It is a lot more than "just suffering with stress", i wish that was all it was!
hope that helps the confusion! (or have i made it worse!):rotfl:

Sue-UU

Hi again digitalsgirl,

It was never my intention to "slag you off" as you put it at all, I'm not that type of person, but I will try my very best to help you and that's what I was doing above. I suppose you could say that I was trying to hammer home the ways in which you could make such obvious savings. You came on the Forum sounding desperate for help and we're all doing our level best to help you, but it really doesn't sound as though you want to pay any heed.

A direct question to try to help you: What are the things you DO intend to cut down on? Maybe it's best for you to tell us.

Sue.

Digitalsgirl_Hubby

Hi all,

Sorry but feel i should say a few things here.

1st) Were not stupid, everything on the list is there for a reason, the car cant go, we couldn't use push bikes and im sure as hell not walking for anyone (not to mention that with my knee's i couldn't walk far anyway)

The "wish list" as my wife so nicely puts it is just that, stuff we wish we could afford.

the animals are part of our family and im sure you wouldn't give your family crap if it saved a few pennies.

2) My wife is not simply suffering a bit of stress, she is suffering severe depression, to the point that today we had a call from the local comunity nursing team about getting her in to be assessed for her mental health as the doctors in this area are concerned that she is going to self harm or worse.
This is a concern i also share, and im sorry to say i tried taking an overdose of pills recently as things were getting too much (yes i also suffer from depression) it is only having each other and our son that keeps us going.
So please dont underestermate the severity of her illness.

3) Im sure my wife has said about the mobile phones, but none the less, yes we are on BT and it is the minimum line rental, the broadband we are tied into for 18months and we had only just renewed it before we had to move (in our old address the internet was very fast here it just plain takes the !!!!).
Where we are we frequently get power cuts and the phones cut out, so a mobile is a given, and yes you all say about PAYG but there is nothing worse than not having credit to make that important call, with our current setup we can make as many calls as needed and not have to worry about credit or anything stupid, also i hate PAYG.

To all the nice people who actually can see that we are real and honest people and not trying to be nasty or not take advice thankyou, your support is really apprecicated.

we know there is lots we need to do, and we will be doing it, we have contacted a lot of people thanks to some of the advice on here and are getting some good feedback.

and finally

TheAble
Your post about the home insurance doesn't really make sense - regardless of the bed and the state of the place, you don't need to pay buildings insurance. £25,000 of contents insurance should only cost around a fiver a month and if you go through Quidco you'll be able to recoup the bulk of that.

There's also no way that £80 a month on mobiles is going to come in cheaper than a home phone bill.

Car Maintenance, car tax, birthdays, non-essentials, wood, oil, helath pills - these are all in the "items I'd like to budget for" section which apparently you don't spend anything on. Are we to take it that, despite having a car, suffering from stress and needing to heat your home, you spend nothing on these items at all?

So forgive my confusion.

I would like to point out that Car maintenance was a seatbelt that was required to be replaced in order to put the car through the MOT so we could still drive it!

Wood/oil are essentials especially over winter here, we are on top of a hill and get wind from all directions, we do not have gas central heating we have Oil central heating, it also heats our water, for the first few months here we had NO OIL! and managed to get a small amount of logs by sharing a load with a neighbour, the logs were used for the LOG BURNER which was our only source of heat!

Health pills are required for my wife who has various problems that are also being dealt with by the doctors and specialists but requires extra fibre and other pills daily so also essential, these are not budgeted for at all and normally means that something has to go to allow for them to be purchased.

As for birthdays we do not celebrate them at the moment, we also did not celebrate xmas or new year and the only present was a goldfish for our sons birthday last month and that was a belated xmas/newyear/birthday gift.

I hope that has alleviated your "confusion" or should i call it unapreciated sarcasm.

Digital

ticklepenny_2

I dont know if this is any help but O2 PAYG have launched a ten numbers option whereby if you top up once a month you get unlimited calls and texts to ten nominated O2 or landline numbers. For all other calls normal charges apply and all that shinaz.

And seriously Freecycle.org - you can pick up disney characters/childrens clothing, beds, seeds etc on there they are brilliant. You can start accepting offered items straight away however, the one thing you have to do before you can place a wanted ad is offer something up. So you could accept something then offer it up, allowing you to place a wanted ad without having to give away something essential to you. For example today I have been given a Yoghurt maker, more of a fun thing for me but its free so its all good.


Hope things start to smooth out a bit for you guys!

Serendipity_phoenix

Hi Sue.............

Sue-UU wrote: »

Hi again digitalsgirl,

It was never my intention to "slag you off" as you put it at all, I'm not that type of person, but I will try my very best to help you and that's what I was doing above. I suppose you could say that I was trying to hammer home the ways in which you could make such obvious savings. You came on the Forum sounding desperate for help and we're all doing our level best to help you, but it really doesn't sound as though you want to pay any heed.
, yes thank you, for clearing that up, there are so many "type of that person" and i seem to find them all! Yes i am desperate for help, my husband and I are, I suppose I am desperate for help in more ways than money (or should i say lack of) and was really making a last ditch attempt to see how to pay off people that are hounding you, when you have already squeezed £2 worth of things from £1
A direct question to try to help you: What are the things you DO intend to cut down on? Maybe it's best for you to tell us.
In answer thats just it, I dont know
In reality (without my mistake of mentioning likes/wishes) we spend out on:
Rent
Water (not metered-they don't do that here!)
Electric (just switched to cheapest quote)
Car insurance
Pet Insurance
House (contains only) insurence (explained why high)
BT line rental
BT Internet (locked into contact, which i tried to cancel and they said it would cancel the service, but we would still need to pay for the monthly fee, whether used or not)
£150 Monthly food bill
£100 on the annoyingly expensive petrol
Mobiles (looking into reducing amount when renew in April)
Pet food
Then there are the unforeseeable things that happen to us every month, like last month was for MOT seat belt and tyre, hoover blew up, extra petrol and parking as i was called into hospital (in bristol)for tests by my surgeon....blah...blah...blah
Bills being sent, that get put in line with the others
I just dont know, anymore
What doesnt help is our money never comes in on the same day/date, where as DD's do
I have tried and tried to change around DD's and get benefits paid on the same time but they all say they cant do it, so we 9out of 10 times end up getting bank charges

Sue.

Serendipity_phoenix

ticklepenny wrote: »

I dont know if this is any help but O2 PAYG have launched a ten numbers option whereby if you top up once a month you get unlimited calls and texts to ten nominated O2 or landline numbers. For all other calls normal charges apply and all that shinaz.

And seriously Freecycle.org - you can pick up disney characters/childrens clothing, beds, seeds etc on there they are brilliant. You can start accepting offered items straight away however, the one thing you have to do before you can place a wanted ad is offer something up. So you could accept something then offer it up, allowing you to place a wanted ad without having to give away something essential to you. For example today I have been given a Yoghurt maker, more of a fun thing for me but its free so its all good.


Hope things start to smooth out a bit for you guys!

Ummmmmm yogurt!
ooooooh you have got to try making frozen yogurt...it is soooo nice, I prefer it to ice cream, it is lush!
We are signing up to it!, I had a look earlier and Tony is signing up (or judging by the noises) trying to sign up now!

will defo look at that O2 thing as we are with them anyway
Thanks again

Digitalsgirl_Hubby

ticklepenny wrote: »

I dont know if this is any help but O2 PAYG have launched a ten numbers option whereby if you top up once a month you get unlimited calls and texts to ten nominated O2 or landline numbers. For all other calls normal charges apply and all that shinaz.

And seriously Freecycle.org - you can pick up disney characters/childrens clothing, beds, seeds etc on there they are brilliant. You can start accepting offered items straight away however, the one thing you have to do before you can place a wanted ad is offer something up. So you could accept something then offer it up, allowing you to place a wanted ad without having to give away something essential to you. For example today I have been given a Yoghurt maker, more of a fun thing for me but its free so its all good.


Hope things start to smooth out a bit for you guys!

Hi thanks i have just signed up for the local freecycle thingy, so just waiting now
:T