Please help...cant take anymore

MoneyGypsy

Hi,

just some hugs and to say hang in there. Please post a full statement of affairs so that the experts on here can see how to help. There is a sticky on what to do at the top of the DFW board.

Hello to hubby too - at least you have him - lots of people on here have partners who don't know about there troubles or are the cause of them and can't see it!!!

Lol.

compulsivespender79

Hey there Digitalsgirl,

First off, sounds like you have a lovely hubby, who really does think the world of you - reading his post up there made me cry. Make sure that you two stick together through this.
Nothing is insurmountable. I know the first thing that you'll be asked to do today is post your Statement of Affairs (a complete breakdown of all of your incomings and outgoings), that way we'll see what's priority and what's not. Your loan is NOT priority. Have a look at the stickies at the top of the DFW board to help you out.
You need to remember the positives; you are a strong woman who is loved very much by (at the very least) two special people: your son and your hubby. You have been through some terrible traumas in your life, but you are still here, and you are still most definitely fighting.
Let the bank ask for their money, at the end of the day you can only pay what you can afford (even if that is a token payment of £1 a month). Start writing to people, set out your budget to them to demonstrate your financial situation. Ask them in light of this if they will stop interest and charges. Tell them you will continue to pay them token amounts each month of a sum you can afford.
Most importantly, please, do not worry. Life is too short to let this get in the way of your life (a lesson I have learnt myself only recently).

Big ((((HUGS)))) to you digitalsgirl, you're in the right place now.

CSx

view

What an amazing lady you are. Not taking anything away from men, I see women being so strong in situations like this (alike my mother who brought up 5 children on her own with no support from my 'dad') and with the world on their shoulders, always put themselves last. I'm sure you have the complete support from the lovely people on this site and hopefully you have some close friends/family who you can turn to, for support.

I bet it also helped to get that all down in writing.

What a story! Thought about contacting a magazine and selling your 'real story' ? They pay and it might mean you have food in your mouth and warmth.

Can't offer financial advice, just wanted to say there will be a time when everything will be ok. Keep reaching out and know that time will eventually come, I'm sure the clever folk on this forum will be offering you (and already have) offered you support and guidance.

All the best luck to you Digitalsgirl & Digitalsgirl hubby, we're all here for you!

HHH_2

Goodness you have had a rough time of it. I always wonder why the powers that be cant see that by benefits taking so long to sort out it actually adds to peoples debt and stress. A couple of people have mentioned CCCS and as you have had a bad experience with CAB I would urge you to phone them. They are fantastic and free!You can also see their website. make sure it's CCCS and not c-c-c-s though. I really hope you manage to keep up with your course as well, can you apply for an access to learning grant? go and speak to the college financial advisor to see if there's anything you can claim. Good luck to you both

mummum2

No practival advice from me, just wanted to send you hugs and to say what a wonderful person you are for coming out stronger after all you've been through. You have a wonderful hubby and son and you will come out even stronger :A
MM2x

RoxieW

Hi hon - just wanted to say hello.

Firstly - you are such a strong person - you've been through so much and come out the otherside with a loving hubby, your little boy and a roof over your head.
Nows the time for a fresh start. Your main worry now is money - this is good compared to your worries of past! You're on the home straight and thats to be celebrated - you've come so far.

Others will be able to abvice you greater about the debts - get professional advice - there is help there and having a 'plan' in action will make you feel much more in control.

You're training to be a counseller - fantastic - you're doing something really positive for your future. I dont know what benefits you are getting - but if your study is affecting your benefit would you be able to get a 16 hrs per week job in order to get extra income and extra tax credits?

A full SOA would be really helpful so that we can see exactly the financial situation. Once thats sorted then its onwards and upwards!

KatyDee22

Hello!
I know I only joined yesterday and for what my opinion is worth, I would say go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and make an appointment to see a financial advisor there. I had all sorts of long standing money problems after bringing my son up alone without maintenance and losing my job. I nearly lost our home, became ill and all the rest. I really thought things couldnt get worse and the stress affected my physical and mental health. The CAB applied for legal aid on my behalf and they contacted all the companies I was getting into debt with and sorted out everything for me. They were absolutely brilliant. I cant praise them enough. I just wish I had gone to see them much earlier, rather than putting myself through so much stress. The National Debtline are also very good. After many horrid years of money problems and now it has all been sorted out with the CAB's help I really feel like a massive weight has been lifted off me. I never ever thought things would get better but with the right professional help and advice it has. I feel so so sorry for you cos I know how tough it will seem right now but it can get resolved for you and life wont always be this crappy for you.
Hugs
Katy

TangledMemories_2

You know what? You have been through so much, you really don't deserve all this!

I really wish I could take it all away from you. At the moment all I could do is give you a pound each week to play the lottery!

I can't offer any more substantial advice I'm afraid....but I want to let you know we're all here for you.

Please try and take care of yourself (god knows I know it's hard).

*huge hugs*

Serendipity_phoenix

Hi
Thank you every one so far, I dont really see at as me being strong etc! just stubborn and dont know how to give up...or waiting for breakdown number two!!!

I have contacted ccc's a few time through out all of this (and used them when dealing with my mother in laws debt of £50k last year, after her husband of 11yrs walked out on her, with a women half his age!!!:mad: ) and they are brill, but cant help us as our debt is not enough, they sent me the templates on contacting people and that is what i used when dealing with my husbands debtors, but they couldn't do more than that.

I will go to the CAB for the problem about my husbands work and natwest (the problem on the other link/question) so i will inform them of everything, and maybe they can take some of this out of my hands, as i am finding it hard to get the motivation now.:(

As for getting work I really cant, my health is so bad at the moment (my doctor wanted me to go back to the hospital) working would tip me over the edge, i am keen to get back to work though, and desperately want to do my last two years at uni to become a fully qualified counsellor, as i love that job so much, but dealing with the court case has knocked me back quite a lot.

Serendipity_phoenix

Thanks TangledMemories,
I do sometimes wonder when i will get a break as life has been pretty !!!!!! since childhood! But then i wouldnt change my husband or son for anything, even if it meant me having to go through it all again.

We tried the lottery as a wedding present! we asked people to get a ticket or 2 for us, as by the time i met my husband i had put a house together with the basics for my son and i, so we felt we didnt wanna ask anyone for anything, we had £60 worth for the saturday draw (got married on a friday as it was cheaper!!) and you know not one of them came in a winner!!
Pants huh! :rolleyes:

Thanks so much everyone for the support and kind words, it means a lot :happyhear