The Spendaholics Anonymous Thread!

xtessx

Hi CS and everyone,

I have been in hiding lately cos i have been soooooo bad. I need my therapy so i'm back. Help me! I was doing so well at the beginning of the month too.

xtessx

compulsivespender79

Millie2008 wrote: »

Well, now I have an excuse for my compulsive and impulsive spendng- I have just been diagnosed with ADD, inattentive- and impulsiveness, be it spending or whatever it part of it

It helps me to get a little insight, not that it helps to make me spend less, but wait till I am on the meds

Wow, Millie. Is that Attention Deficit Disorder? At least you can come to terms with what causes your impulsiveness now. Stay with us, and let us know how you get on. When does your treatment start?

xtessx wrote:

Hi CS and everyone,

I have been in hiding lately cos i have been soooooo bad. I need my therapy so i'm back. Help me! I was doing so well at the beginning of the month too.

xtessx

Hi Tess,

My suspicions where correct then?!?! Think we need to be more disciplined with ourselves again!

Little_Chicken

compulsivespender79 wrote: »

Hey Buffy,

Love your sig. Do you think we've all been hiding out of shame?

Fritz, I don't think any of us deserve applause at the moment!

I Do - I Do I still haven't done any naughty spends since we went to Athens - about 6 weeks ago. :T:T:TAm soooooooo glad you're all back. Now. no more hiding. I've missed u all.;)

Little_Miss_Shopaholic

I'm still here and still spending so have been hiding, I have used my credit card again despite being good for three months so I'm not happy. I have no excuses either.

I'm glad we are all bad and I am trying to be good but the McDonalds I had for lunch today as not really helped as it is pure laziness that I didn't take my lunch with me today.

iloveshoes_2

LMS, I know how you feel. I managed to spend nearly £17,000 on rubbish. I literally had nothing to show for it.

Now I use the envelopes method. At the start of each month I put money for essentials - petrol, food, gas card etc - into envelopes. All my other bills are paid by DD the day after payday.

When I go out I don't take cards and only the bare minimum cash - NO switching allowed! If I see something I like I leave it for a day and if I really want it I have to decide whether to go back next day. Quite often I can't be bothered! If I love it, I still have the inconvenience of going to the ATM so it has to be totally worth it.

Takes a bit of getting used to but really works. Things I'd have bought in a heartbeat a year ago hardly get a 2nd glance these days. Give yourself a small treat once a week - bought lunch, takeaway dinner, coffee & cake etc - to keep yourself going. Put anything that's left at the end of the month into a savings account, even if it's only a few pound. Lotsa littles soon add up!

compulsivespender79

Ooh, we're creeping back! I love it!

New month new start hey? Apart from LC, who appears to have shamed us all!! Well done LC :T

xtessx

Hi CS and everyone,

Decided to post more often to keep self in check. It was trying to sell my house that did it, just kept on visiting those lovely home stores which were my downfall originally, started thinking, 'that would look lovely in the dining room' etc, then fell off the wagon.

Now we have a buyer I am still looking but thinking, 'don't need to bother now' everytime I see something lovely that i want. Its worked so far (2 days!!)

Good luck everyone! We can do it!!:T

xtessx

fritzbrain

I think you all deserve applause for acknowledging that there is a problem. It's an important first step. It took me a while. I had the equivalent of £50,000.00 of CC debt. I had to dig into my placements to fix it. And I wouldn't have even thought of doing so had I not been confronted about spending. I would have let it go on and on! I also buy multiples of things. Really stupid, as if there's a war or something and I have to hoard. And I am really crazy about makeup and skincare products. Those are really expensive, and really useless. And clothes and shoes! I cannot tell you how much crap I have at home, that doesn't get used. I also have TONS of books and DVDs. Well, all my cards are cut and I feel a bit insecure about that, but there's no getting around it. Now I can't afford to go away on vacation. I spend to feel happy, I guess. Like it validates my worth, you know?

I actually just came from a seminar in Hong Kong and managed to buy just one pair of shoes and one bar of Valrhona dark chocolate using cash. Not too bad considering just a month ago I would have come home with 5 pairs, a few bags, new clothes, more makeup, and all sorts of chocolate brands. All designer, and all on CC!

Now my problem is trying to find ways to get my "rush", that's not connected to spending. And it doesn't help that I just found out that I have a mild form of OCD (which explains a lot but is so depressing to know!).

I still haven't done a complete inventory of all the crap in my closets. I need to get rid of all the useless stuff in my life! And I don't know if the eBay in my area is working properly...

kiiabby

Hello everyone!

I've lurked around MSE for months now, but I very rarely post.

I'm in a bit of a financial pickle! I'm completely useless with money, so I've enlisted the help of my boyfriend and together we went through all my spending and looked at the debt I have. It's not good... the situation is surprisingly similar to just before he had to declare himself bankrupt two years ago now on a smaller scale. So I'm a bit... no... I'm very scared. I'm a student and going into my final year which is making things more difficult because I can't work more hours thanks to dissertation research that needs to be done etc. I'm hoping my parents can loan me some money whilst I get things sorted out and then pay them back once I've got a proper job after my degree.

The main problem is I spend money... to feel happy? I don't really know. But I'm constantly looking in clothes shops and finding reasons to treat myself. I think it's a bit about reinventing myself to influence how people see me. The compulsive spending is part of a much bigger problem in my life that I've not quite got to the bottom of yet... Like lots of people in debt, my life in general feels like a bit of a mess!

I find it really difficult to go a day without spending money... it's not even like it really matters what I'm spending the money on, so long as I buy something. I am completely fed up with this behaviour though!

Knowing everyone else on here is trying hard and going through the same kind of situations will hopefully make it easier... I already feel better for having browsed through this thread! I think my plan of action is to not take any cards with me when I go out places and obviously stay away from shops wherever possible! Does anyone else have some more distraction-tactics they could suggest?

poorandindenial

Hi Kiiabby

Well dopne for your post, I think we can all recognise what you are going through - it is that, I will just grab a 'blah' or 'thingy' compulsion isn't it. I used to buy 7-8 tops a week, sometimes cheap, sometimes expensive but the act of buying gave me such a boost that I kept on and on.

Recognising that there is a roblem is pstage one (so very well done for reaching the first stage) The second stage is getting to the bottom of the issue. For me I never really did find out the root cause, I just sort of scared myself out of it by keeping a spending diary and forcing myself to question what I was doing. I still find myself accidentally/compulsively wandering round shops with baskets of stuff, then I wake up really question everything that I have and go and put everything back because invariably I don't need anythign that I have picked up.

Try keeping a diary of not only spending but also how you are feeling and what else is going on and see if you can see any links (I never really got ot the bottom of what my bigger problem was, I still feel generally discontented most of the time but I figure one step at a time, sort one issue and see what preys on my mind next and then deal with that)

You can generally cancel cards with the credit companies and then pay off the balance with the existing repayment and interest terms and that might be an idea to reduce the availability of spending.

It is great that you have the support of your other half too, fingers crossed for you and do let us know how you are doing.