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The Spendaholics Anonymous Thread!

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The Spendaholics Anonymous Thread!

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
707 replies 50.9K views
compulsivespender79compulsivespender79 Forumite
324 posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Debt-Free Wannabe
Hello everyone,

I've been around this forum for a few weeks now, I've just started a Debt Management Plan with CCCS, and it seems to be going OK so far. Apart from the one thing that got me here in the first place - I SPEND MONEY!
I can't help it, it's like some ridiculous compulsion. Here I am, not three weeks into the month and with not a penny to my name (but fortunately a very understanding boyfriend). Even when I'm down to the last few quid in my purse I spend it on something stupid. On Saturday I bought a £5 cutlery drainer, why? I didn't need it. I recognise that I have a problem, but don't know how to stop it.
I kid myself that I'm doing well, and that I'm now working towards clearing my debts. But until I get over this problem I'm just going to be in exactly the same position as before.

Today, I'm going to try and turn a new leaf. But I need some help. I need to understand why I see money the way I do. Why do I feel it's so important to waste my money on yet another piece of useless crap?

So, I've started this thread for anyone else out there like me, or who used to be like me. Please join me if you are a "compulsive spender" like me, and please join me if you can impart any words of wisdom to help me, and others, break this cycle of behaviour.

Thank you for reading,

CSx

Spendaholics Anonymous Roll of Honour;

1. compulsivespender79
2. tanith
3. In Search Of Me
4. MiasMommy
5. CBI
6. hitback
7. tallyhoh
8. jennyred
9. luxor4t
10. maz3374
11. poorandindenial
12. truly.maddy.deeply
13. rayday2
14. georgiasmum
15. skintbutsmiling01
16. Lelc
17. teresa2406
18. shawtj2
19. Gemmzie
20. madge7
21. Little Chicken
22. donteatthat
23. RoxieW
24. Lemon Tree
25. GemGems
26. Puzzledbubbles
27. moneydesperatex
28. Buffythedebtslayer
29. mcrfan
30. moneysavingmumofone
31. got-it-spend-it
32. Paranoid124
33. heyjustme
34. RapidMongman
35. magni
36. onamission
37. sohurt
38. judi24
39. Little Miss Shopaholic
40. heppy23
41. Gingerish
42. Loopylu36
43. smiffy85
44. icklemissus
45. ailsajayne27
46. nomorecredit
47. HairyHandofDartmoor
48. Ches
49. Mille2008
50. binnie
51. Savingmore
52. tjo08
53. xtessxx
54. geri1965
55. Reformed Shophaholic
56. storm
57. fritzbrain
58. kiiabby
59. EmptyPurse
60. archers addict

[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]
LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
«13456771

Replies

  • tanithtanith Forumite
    8.1K posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    Hi CS, its good that you recognise you have a problem and well done for wanting to tackle it....
    The best bit of advice I can give you is to try and simply avoid going to places where you are tempted to spend... I have friends whose sole purpose at the weekend is to go out 'looking' round the shops... :eek: if you truly do not need anything then stay home or go somewhere that doesn't have shops...
    #6 of the SKI-ers Club :j

    "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Edmund Burke
  • great thread CS! I think many of us can say the same! I do so well & then !!!! it up with something stupid & unecessary!! I'm much better than I was but still do, and suspect always will, get a buzz from spending! Now I try when I getthe "panic urge" to research more so by the time I get it, if I do get it, I know its the cheapest I could get and often by the time I've done the research I dont want it any more or realise that its old habits! Not sure f that helps? Can you take the drainer back?
    Nerd no 109 Long haulers supporters DFW #1! Even in the darkest moments, love and hope are always possible.

  • Hiya, I feel exactly what you mean, my sister who's even worse than me, would give her last £20 pounds to buy a dress if it meant a good night out.
    I think a lot of my spending is to do with my upbringing my mum was a very tight person, and I feel if I spend people like SA's /friends/family dont look down on me, dont see me as a poor person, this HAS to stop.
    At the end of the day I should be looking after myself and not thinking what everyone else is thinking.

    My sister does the old buy and return, she buys it , makes it feel good about herself and then returns it a few days later when she realises she has no money.
    Last night I really really really wanted a take out, but then I couldnt justify it so I just made my own meal. I think a lot of it is about treating yourself, in my case, I always buy the expensiver brand because it makes me feel better more worthwhile.

    Especially my daughter I always buy her clothes from Next, oh now I sound like a snob, Im not, sorry Im rambling.

    Hope I was of any help.

    x
    MiasMommy
  • CBICBI Forumite
    41 posts
    I used to be but I've calmed down a lot over the past few months. What's worked for me is not having the money to hand.

    ie. When I go to work I don't take any cash or cards with me, purely because I know I won't need them. I've got as much water, tea and coffee as I want at work and take in enough to keep me from getting hungry.

    I buy everything on Switch that way if I'm planning to spend say £8 then that's all that gets spent, instead of drawing out £10 then having £2 in my pocket waiting to be spent on crap I don't need.

    I should be trying to break myself out of the Friday night takeaway but I don't want to :D
  • I was a terrible spender before starting our DMP and have a wardrobe of mistakes to prove it! A wardrobe clear out or re assessment usually curbs any spending urges!!! And on the very rare occasions I do buy something I still get a guilt pang...even if its a £3 set of mugs!!! IF you really need something the best piece of advice I can offer is hunt for the best deal / price etc! Remember, you can often get better deals on things via the internet instead of trawling round the shops where temptation faces you all the time!!
    Debt at Sept 2006 £63,500:eek:
    Debt at Sept 2012 £24,400
    DFD Dec 2012! (if PPI claims come in) !! :beer:
    Official DFW Nerd Club Member 828

    Proud to be dealing with my debts
  • MiasMommy wrote: »
    Hiya, I feel exactly what you mean, my sister who's even worse than me, would give her last £20 pounds to buy a dress if it meant a good night out.
    I think a lot of my spending is to do with my upbringing my mum was a very tight person, and I feel if I spend people like SA's /friends/family dont look down on me, dont see me as a poor person, this HAS to stop.
    At the end of the day I should be looking after myself and not thinking what everyone else is thinking.

    My sister does the old buy and return, she buys it , makes it feel good about herself and then returns it a few days later when she realises she has no money.
    Last night I really really really wanted a take out, but then I couldnt justify it so I just made my own meal. I think a lot of it is about treating yourself, in my case, I always buy the expensiver brand because it makes me feel better more worthwhile.

    Especially my daughter I always buy her clothes from Next, oh now I sound like a snob, Im not, sorry Im rambling.

    Hope I was of any help.

    x

    I'm exactly the same as you. There were six of us when I was growing up, and my dad was the only wage-earner, meaning that money was always tight. I think you're right, I want to be seen as "doing well" for myself.
    I too buy (bought) clothes from Next for my daughter, and Marks & Spencer. All in an attempt to make people think that I'm doing good.
    How selfish is that?

    ISOM: The drainer is in use, labels off and everything!!!
    LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
    25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
    'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
    DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
  • tallyhohtallyhoh Forumite
    2.3K posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    ✭✭✭✭
    I am not a compulsive spender but my OH is. I wont bore you with the long details but I can say that the problem can be just as destructive as drinking, drugs or gambling.
    His problems stretch back as far as 1971 & I thought we had cracked it this time. I have now found he has secretly spent over £9000 in addition to his monthly allowance of £500 since June last year. He has nothing to show for it, not even a new pair of shoes.
    Its obvious that he needs serious help but there doesnt seem to be any for this problem. Its not debt counselling he needs.

    Oh
    moan over
    XX
    Tallyhoh!

    Stopped Smoking October 2000. Saved £21,840 so far!
  • your not selfish!

    Sadly in this day and age, everyone judges you on your looks, your clothes all the superficial things.I actually admit I buy my daughter a nice pram from Mamas and Papas, always make sure she nevers looks dirty, despite the amount of choc she has!! Just so people in the streets dont look down on me because Im a young mum.

    I also think its a need to fit in , to be like everyone else.Although half the people out there who shop must be putt ing it on their credit card too!
    MiasMommy
  • jennyredjennyred Forumite
    404 posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    ✭✭
    what a brilliant thread. I know exactly what you mean.
    I just cant help spending. my problem is I love to buy presents for everyone. I always go to excess. As soon as I have spare money, I will buy something for someone and I love that feeling when they say they love what it is I have bought. luckly my friends and my OH have recognised this problem and we have decided this year that we will not buy any presents for each other at all - but it is so hard to resist!!!
    what everyone needs is good friends and lots of support - which is why I think this will be a great thread!!

    ps - does anyone know how I suscribe to a thread?? (its ok - found it)

  • luxor4tluxor4t Forumite
    11.1K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    I am fascinated by the way they analyse somebody's spending habits on the TV show of a similar name to this thread. At first I thought it was just padding, but then something hit one of my 'spending nerves' and I realised there was something method in the technique.

    Now I try to ask myself WHY do I want this item?
    The answers can be quite interesting (if I am being honest!) and usually help me to turn myself around.
    Usually I'm bored or fed up or unhappy etc etc. So I try to fix that problem rather than hide it by spending - does not always work, but it can stop the waste of money.
    There are lots of ideas on this site:
    http://www.cindysporch.net/

    If it doesn't work, the next stage is to actually buy something inexpensive we will benefit from eg fruit or good bread, or something 'free' eg on my Boots points.

    Failing that, there are 2 charity shops nearby, so I feel like I am hunting down a bargain...

    I can cook and sew, make flowers grow.
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