The Spendaholics Anonymous Thread!

compulsivespender79

skintbutsmiling01 wrote: »

I love buying anything- things from the pound shop are great, all sorts of things, 8 rolls of sellotape for £1 that sort of thing.
I love the feeling of being weighed down by bags.
Ps You can subscribe to a thread?? So you don't have to keep searching every time you make a comment and leave the thread?!

You can - if you got to "Thread Tools" at the top of the thread, you'll see "Subscribe to this thread". Just click on that, make sure you haven't got the email notification bit ticked.

Welcome to the thread!!

Does this mean I have to start giving out numbers?!?!?!

Lelc

I'm so glad to see this thread. I can relate to everything that has been said. Last week, as an example, I didn't spend anything for the whole week - took in my own lunches, meal planned so no shopping required etc - and I was really proud of myself. But on Saturday I went into town and blew what I had saved on stuff I didn't need. It wasn't even stuff for me so I couldn't even claim that I was rewarding myself for saving.

The problem then is that I feel really disappointed with myself which has the knock on effect, as it is at the moment, of me feeling down and can't be bothered to put the effort in again. It's a bit like sabotaging my own success and turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy of 'failure' (don't really like that term but it does describe how it feels to me).

It's amazing how writing it all down actually helps to rationalise things in your head. Now if I can figure out how to break the cycle.........

compulsivespender79

Lelc wrote: »

It's amazing how writing it all down actually helps to rationalise things in your head. Now if I can figure out how to break the cycle.........

That's exactly what I want to do. And they do say that the first step to "curing" a problem is admitting that you have a problem in the first place. That's whay I decided to start this thread - to help myself and others.

BTW, where abouts in the Highlands are you Lelc? My BF's mum and dad live by Thurso.

poorandindenial

georgiasmum wrote: »

Compulsive spending/eating/gambling/drinking/drug taking etc has, in my opinion a common psychological root cause. I believe that we are 'feeding' something that I think we believe we are lacking. Confronting that 'lack' and looking for ways to fulfil it that don't cause any more harm or stress is the goal here. I have been a compulsive spender and eater at different points in my life and for me it stems from approval and learnt behaviours (sometimes rebelling from parental behaviours). My mother spent and still spends like water because her parents were tight-fisted and she hated that. I mimicked my mother for a time until I realised it was killing me. Now I hope I have found a middle ground. Shopping is not a leisure activity, I am always looking for other things to do that don't involve retail therapy. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good browse or a purchase but I would like to think that I understand myself better and can clarify why I need to shop (the urge is always there) and can distract myself. I guess my point here in this rambling post is that if shopping is fulfilling a need in your life and is hurting your peace of mind when the bill rolls in you need to start examining what is motivating you. Self awareness is the key and by admitting that your attitude to shapping isn't always healthy then you have done the first, hard part. GM

Couldn't agree more GM - if i am honest I have replaced compulsive spending with obsessive moneysaving (which is hopefully less destructive although it may have its own pitfalls, for example I now try to avoid going out with friends as a means of not spending money, a more healthy attitude would be arranging to do things that don't cost with them - which they would be happy to do as they are all lovely and understanding of my situation).

I have also become a touch evangelical about money saving, whilst spreading the word is good I will have to widen my topics of conversation if I want to keep my friends - lol:rotfl:)

skintbutsmiling01

I veer between mad money saving and radical overspending. Wish could be more consistent, mind you consistent overspending- champagne lifestlye on a beer wage - is what brought me to this site. It is definitely a feelgood thing- when I feel low or annoyed, any money just burns a hole in my pocket, the drinks are on me, as i cross my fingers that my card doesnt decline!

teresa2406

Hi everyone, I'm new at this so please be patient with me.

I totally relate to this thread, I'm addicted to shopping online! I think it's mainly when I'm at work and bored. I start to browse and before I know it the credit/debit card is whipped out of my purse and I'm spending again.

One of my worst temptations is Amazon, I spend loads on DVDs, CDs and mainly books. I've started putting items in my shopping basket and then logging out before I have chance to checkout. Then when I'm on there next I look in my shopping basket and realise half the stuff in there is stuff I don't really want/need anymore so I delete it off. I'm not always this disciplined though and end up impulse buying, but I'm starting to sell on Amazon now to get rid of the books I've read or the CDs that weren't that great.

I like the suggestion CBI made earlier in the posts of leaving your cards at home when you're at work. I think I'll try this and it should slow me down on spending but Amazon saves your card details - darn!!! Any suggestions to stop me spending on these sites would be very very welcome.

I've now got a huge credit card balance which is scaring me to death and I've managed to stop spending since the beginning of the year but I know I'll start to get the urge to splurge some cash soon - and then I tend to go for it big style!!:rolleyes:

compulsivespender79

Welcome Teresa :hello:

I'm a so-and-so for internet shopping at work too. Like you a couple of times I've managed to fill my basket, go to check out, look at all the stuff I've ordered, and then close the webpage down before I click confirm!! So obviously there's something inside us trying to keep us under control!! Just need it to be a bit more dominant!

poorandindenial

I am in a book club and once I went onto Amazon, added the book we had chosen for the month and some other bits and checked out without looking at the order, two copies of the book duly turned up as well as some other stuff that I didn't think I had ordered and when I checked I realised I had put together an order in a previous session and not checked out and then just added to it in the new session. :rotfl:

That about typifies the reason why my debt is mahoosive with very little to show for it.

jennyred

compulsivespender79 wrote: »

You can - if you got to "Thread Tools" at the top of the thread, you'll see "Subscribe to this thread". Just click on that, make sure you haven't got the email notification bit ticked.

Welcome to the thread!!

Does this mean I have to start giving out numbers?!?!?!

maybe you should give us numbers CS - you know how we DWF LOVE being part of a club! :rotfl:

then maybe we should use the thread as a bit of school teacher type affair. when we've done something naughty - we some come and confess all our sins!! lol

i'll happily go first - went to the shop to pay for the papers ( only get them delivered on a sunday) to see cadburys chocolate bars on offer - thought fab - get them and use them in OH pack ups for rest of week - came home and ate the lot!!!!! oh well. day started so well.

Lelc

compulsivespender79 wrote: »

That's exactly what I want to do. And they do say that the first step to "curing" a problem is admitting that you have a problem in the first place. That's whay I decided to start this thread - to help myself and others.

BTW, where abouts in the Highlands are you Lelc? My BF's mum and dad live by Thurso.

I'm about 20 miles north of Inverness and about 100 miles south of Thurso. It's nice in Thurso and the coastline up there is amazing. In the summer we love exploring the beaches up there which are beautiful gold sand and never a soul in sight. Heaven.