The Spendaholics Anonymous Thread!

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  • I'm glad that people might find this thread useful, I want nothing more than to have a bit of money left in my bank account at the end of the month!!!

    Tallyhoh, I think you're right, it can be as destructive as drugs etc, and I don't want to seem over-dramatic, but I do think it's an addiction. This is why this thread's here: to get us talking about it, and supporting each other.

    Jennyred, I'm the same with pressies too. I like making people happy, but I think I'm slowly coming round to the idea that I don't need to shower gifts on everyone to do that (as much as enjoy seeing a smile on the face of someone I love). I think more importantly, your own happiness is what makes other people happy - I've learnt that over the past few days from my amazing OH.

    Luxor, Thank you for the website details, I will have a look when I'm not, *ahem*, "working"!!! Thank you too for the good advice - keep it coming!!!

    CSx
    LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
    25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
    'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
    DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
  • I curb my spending urges by spending my nectar and boots points from time to time, or by spending vouchers i made on Pigsback or trawling charity shops. If i decide i want something, a couple of weeks ago it was new boots... i made it my mission to find them in a charity shop and within a week i got a pair of leather high heeled ankle boots for £5 in almost new condition. They would easily have been £40-50 new.... so i felt treated but hadn't spent excessively.

    I think it helps that i am a size 18-20 as there are less readily available clothes out there for me to buy! If i were a size 10-12 i would end up with a lot more clothes, so that is in some small way a bit of a blessing.

    Another way people treat themselves is by being Ebay Neutral, where you can sell things on ebay to buy things off Ebay but never actually spend any real money... seemingly works for some people?

    Maz
    x
    I'm just a seething mass of contradictions....
    (it's part of my charm!)
  • luxor4t
    luxor4t Posts: 11,125 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic First Post
    Maz3374 wrote: »
    i felt treated but hadn't spent excessively.

    I agree, I still get the adrenaline rush but without the guilt. Plus, I can feel like I have done some good for the charity!
    I can cook and sew, make flowers grow.
  • Great thread, count me in as a compulsive spender (well, ex-compulsive spender - hopefully)

    I have got so much stuff from my compulsive spending days it is crazy. A clear out the other day revealed three shower curtains sitting new in their packets. Oh and I have well over 150 pairs of knickers!!!!!:eek: And I can't fit my clothes in my wardrobes despite repeated purges.

    Since I went MSE (10th December) I have had only one splurge, that was in late december, and I was so disgusted with myself that whenever I am looking at rubbish I remember that. I went out with a friend for lunch and before I knew it we had spent over £100 each on booze and food and popped into L'Occitaine and spent over £100 in there too. (I now feel sick just thinking about it although in my pre-MSE life this would have been normal)

    Since then I have been really quite good, yesterday I even went to IKEA and spent nothing except £1 on a hotdog and fries (I know thay are awful but I have to have one when I am there), pre-MSE it would have been a minimum of £60-80 on random tat that I didn't need. Yesterday I went in for one thing, they didn't have it and I left empty handed (I ate the food in the store;)) but as I was browsing all my 'I want' feelings were there, I was just better about telling myself 'no'.

    Err, selfish ramble over, all of the posts on here coud have been written about me whether they are me as I was (and hopefully won't be again) or me as I am now.

    Great thread compulsivespender79, thank you:T
    £34,547 (Dec 07); Current debt: £zilch (Debt free December 2010)
    Sealed Pot #389 (2010=£133)
  • I'm completely the same. I've got a personal loan which currently stands at about £3,500 with a year to go. It was a combination of cc cards and o/d's which I consildated about 2 years ago onto a cheaper interest rate, it was at £7,500. I really don't know what I spent all that money on - rubbish and clothes which are long gone I expect!

    I lost quite alot of weight last year so was buy all nice size 12 clothes, now they are too small but I spent LOADS on them. They are currently on ebay being sold off!

    I like clothes shopping, I love the feel of new clothes. I'm getting better at controlling my spending now purely because I have no money to spend on them. But when there are sales, I just can't resist!

    I think there should be some kind of therapy for compulsive spenders!!
  • I think there should be some kind of therapy for compulsive spenders!!

    Well hopefully this is it!!

    I want to hear it all, confessions the lot! I need to know that I'm not alone. I need an occasional kick up the !!!! when I'm teetering on the edge. (Sorry, mixed metaphores there - I don't really wany anyone to kick me off a cliff, but you know what I mean!!)

    Hope this thread can become as valuable to people as some of the other threads on here have been.

    CSx
    LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
    25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
    'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
    DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
  • rayday2
    rayday2 Posts: 3,960 Forumite
    I honestly don't buy anything for myself, my clothes come off ebay and I hack them down to fit me (short a*se I am) but my nemesis or whatever you call it is children!

    I want them to have nice clothes (I grew up with hand me downs from the church), like them to have magazines, (one subscription each - yes I admit it even the two year old!), day trips to expand their mind (my mum would say we were going out for the day then argue for 3 hours on where to go it never happened - I went to Blackpool 21 times in 7 years and never went up the Tower!)

    They are by no means spoilt but considering I am on a DMP there lifestyle has not altered. I have Christmas sorted with boring surveys which nets me about £500 to spend each year.

    But I am not sure I am right for this topic because I don't want to change my ways :O I find good ways of making the money go further Ty Girlz dolls from USA etc at a fraction of the price but I don't want to stop what I get them just change the sources lol!
  • Rayday that's cool, just share the secret!!!
    LBM: 14.01.08 - Debt at 25.04.08: £7420.9
    25.06.10: 3200.00 :T I'm over half way there!!! :j
    'Spendaholics Anonymous' Thread Member No 1
    DMP Mutual Support Thread Member No 113
  • Compulsive spending/eating/gambling/drinking/drug taking etc has, in my opinion a common psychological root cause. I believe that we are 'feeding' something that I think we believe we are lacking. Confronting that 'lack' and looking for ways to fulfil it that don't cause any more harm or stress is the goal here. I have been a compulsive spender and eater at different points in my life and for me it stems from approval and learnt behaviours (sometimes rebelling from parental behaviours). My mother spent and still spends like water because her parents were tight-fisted and she hated that. I mimicked my mother for a time until I realised it was killing me. Now I hope I have found a middle ground. Shopping is not a leisure activity, I am always looking for other things to do that don't involve retail therapy. That's not to say that I don't enjoy a good browse or a purchase but I would like to think that I understand myself better and can clarify why I need to shop (the urge is always there) and can distract myself. I guess my point here in this rambling post is that if shopping is fulfilling a need in your life and is hurting your peace of mind when the bill rolls in you need to start examining what is motivating you. Self awareness is the key and by admitting that your attitude to shapping isn't always healthy then you have done the first, hard part. GM
    THE LONG AND THE SLOW ROAD SEEM TO APPLY TO DEBTS AND DIETS... THE TWO THINGS I WANT TO SEE THE BACK OF...:D
  • I love buying anything- things from the pound shop are great, all sorts of things, 8 rolls of sellotape for £1 that sort of thing.
    I love the feeling of being weighed down by bags.
    Ps You can subscribe to a thread?? So you don't have to keep searching every time you make a comment and leave the thread?!
    Compulsive Spendaholic #15
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