I am not trying hard....

deliciosa

CAFCGirl wrote: »

OK have decided, Bluewater is the work of the devil!!!!

Got my shoes for the wedding so that was all good, and my dress for the reception, both cheaper than I had been anticipating....

But it took a LOT of self restraint not to continue spending money!
Although I did keep walking round picking up things and then saying to my cousin, but you could pick the same thing up in Primark for £3!

Ooooh tell us tell us! how much did you pay for shoes and dress? what colour.. how high heel... give us some crumbs, i havent been shopping since new years....

:j

ZTD

deliciosa wrote: »

Today I cycled in again. I have only spent £1.80 on travel since the 17th of February.

As I think you predicted.

deliciosa wrote: »

Un-bloody-believable.

No it isn't - you just needed to have some faith in yourself, and now that you have - it's working marvellously.

deliciosa wrote: »

So happy. I used to spend £92 a month on travelcard. At this rate my oyster card (£9 CR) will last for a month....

So what are the savings going on?

deliciosa wrote: »

Yesterday I have sinned with pretzels (£1.03 tesco and nicest thing in the worls) apples £1.29 for pack of 6, ate two and ..... jaffa cakes £1.15 a pack of 15, ate.. well... 12!!!!! :(:(:(:(:( that's all I ate all day tho but gosh, that;s why Im not losign weight.

Buy fruit. Loads of fruit...

deliciosa wrote: »

Well done also, for leaving the plastic behind. I don't have that willpower yet...

Confidence, not willpower. And you will get more confidence.

CAFCGirl

deliciosa wrote: »

Ooooh tell us tell us! how much did you pay for shoes and dress? what colour.. how high heel... give us some crumbs, i havent been shopping since new years....

:j

I paid £35 for my shoes and £45 for my dress....
Shoes are soft brown leather peep toes, about 3 1/2 inch heel :eek:
Am yet to decide how I'm gonna get round NY in those!

And dress is just yummy! really 50's style prom dress.... from Zara.. :T

Had the best day ever!

ltm07

deliciosa wrote: »

I realised something today. I have been telling myself for the last year that it's not fair that I am in debt, that I am trying so hard, that it's not working out, it's all other people's fault. Actually, who am I fooling.

I am not trying so hard. At least I wasn't , until very recently. Unlike most of this forum, my debt never gave me the sort of headache it gives to other people. I could always afford paying back the minimum etc. I thought of DWF-ing as a new fun hobby, intoxicated by success, then dissappointed by failure, it has never been a matter of life and death to me. Yes, true, I did all the Martin "cut back" etc, but I wasn't stretching myself. I wasn't trying so hard. That's why, after a year, I am still in debt! I am still as much in debt as I was before. I bought myself expensive holiday, and then I came here crying that I am in debt - well shame on me.

And as for it not being fair - it is fair. I could have bought budget airline ticket s instead of British Airways, even if the saving is only £20. I could have taken the tube to the Heathrow and not the paddington express. I could have bothered to buy diet cokes at tesco for £2.55 per six cans than a can for 80p at the corner shop, because that 30p DOES make a difference.

Over the last few days I have been reading the forum and other people's stories extensively. And even though I have been here for a year, I realised, I still had no clue about what a DWF is. I see people in broken homes, having sleepless nights and I am ashamed, ashamed that even though my debt is manageable, compared to them, I still can't get rid of it, even though I could have, over the last year. Yes, if I hadn't done the middle eastern holiday, the trip with my sister, and if only I had spent just £50 less a month than I did, and I could have, I would be debt free now! And here I am, with $4000 debt.

I don't want to be part of the "debt free wannabe-trend". I dont want to come here and celebrate my debt and pretend that I am miserable and trying too hard, when I am actually not, and loads of people here are. I want to be a real DFW. A real debt free wannabe. I want to see the number £4000 every tijme I open my purse to pay for something. I want to realise that every time I spend money, I am borrowing money, until that £4000 is paid back. I need to realise that if I want to be debt free, I have to pay back my debt, and that I can only do by not spending my money. This sounds simple, but for me it wasn't. My life was about allowing myself this, and that, and treating myself to this little thing, and that meal out... and then coming here and moaning about how unfair life is. (so if it happens again, someone pinch me, please!).

There are people here whose debt is unfair. Bank charges, circumstances, debt collection agencies, lost job, etc.... My debt is NOT unfair. I was spending beyond my means, I have spent every penny myself, I have enjoyed every single item I bought MYSELF. I am the one who brought it on me, and I am the one who needs to make it go away. It's not unfair, it's my doing, it's my fault. Finally I realise this. I a the one who was stupid and not my boss, my friends, or Martin, or you, here, in the forum!

I need to put an end to this. I need to pay back this £4000 that I owe and get my life back on the track. I am sick and tired of my own excuses, my own mistakes, and I am sick and tired of my ungratefulness that complete strangers here try to help me with their whole heart and I am letting them down, and letting myself down. I am tired of the feeling I get on payday when I distribute my money to my cards, paying back part of the debt, realising that I have not received any money at all, again, because it's not mine.. and then spending on those cards for a dvd, because that takes me out of the reality, or on food, because that gives me instant happiness, or expensive holidays,, to show to the world that I am fine. I am not fine, I am in debt, I have done this to myself and I will sort this out.

Just wanted to write this out of myself. Things will change from now on. I will show everyone here, that I can and will be debt free. This year. By September, preferably. don't know how - actually, I have a simple plan. I will only spend my money on what is cheap and essential. I will not moan about my debt but work on it so it dissappears. And I will constantly read other people's stories to remind myself how lucky I am that this forum and you lovely people found me in time, before things got really serious.

Thanks for reading it.

[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]

This is an excellent post & it is what coming on here is all about. Just last week OH & i(especialy me),nearly gave up our DF journey & consolidated the £32,000 that we owe onto our mortgage. OK we would have an extra £435 a month in our pockets but the interest over the 16 years would have been an extra £22,000! There are always little ways to make savings. We have started to shop at Aldi which we reckon will save us £80 a month,cancelled Sky saving another £37 & are both doing extra overtime which brings in an extra £400 or more a month. We paid nearly £1,000 off our debts in the short month of February & we haven't really gone without much. It made me think that if we can pay that amount off in one month including interest then once we're DF even if we only save £500 a month we will have a very comfortable lifestyle(it makes us wonder why we ever bothered with loans & credit cards in the first place)! The best advice i can give is no matter how much your debts get you down there is light at the end of the tunnel. Make sure you allow yourselves & your family(especially your kids) treats now & then & our DF journeys won't become an obsession & get us down when we have a bit of a sticking point. Always focus on the day that you will be debt free.

miggy

deliciosa wrote: »

Yesterday I have sinned with pretzels (£1.03 tesco and nicest thing in the worls) apples £1.29 for pack of 6, ate two and ..... jaffa cakes £1.15 a pack of 15, ate.. well... 12!!!!! :(:(:(:(:( that's all I ate all day tho but gosh, that;s why Im not losign weight.

Nothing wrong with eating pretzels - I was doing it myself this afternoon! Jaffa cakes now... why didn't you save us some?!

Now I did threaten to keep an eye on you and make sure you're eating properly and here I am . If you are going to have pretzels, could you leave half at home to make them last longer? Same for the jaffas? Better still, plan and eat a good meal and reward yourself after with just a few of them - surely you won't succumb to them as much if you feel full? If you are like me, the treats have a lot more power over me if I'm feeling a bit deprived.
I tell myself they are false friends .Those calories tell me what I want to hear ('We'll make you feel better!') but it ain't true! They are all set to move in on me permanently!
I think, allow yourself some treats, but try to outwit them by making sure you have decent food every day including protein (where was today's? ) - when your body knows it can rely on that, you may find it easier to lose weight.
WRT the weight loss, could it be all your marvellous cycling that's toning up your muscles? I think muscle weighs more than fat, doesn't it? So maybe you aren't losing weight but you are going to be soooo toned and healthy!
Anyway, keep up the good work WRT the cycling and I will cheer you on for the diet!

englishmac

MaggieBear wrote: »

It was delicious - I really ought to start baking more, I've recipes for lots of "loaf" style cakes that will freeze well in slices so I don't end up eating too much at once :rolleyes:

essentials are essentials - they're in your budget, right?

yes! You have to eat Do you have a menu in mind? How are you at cooking?

And today? My plastic is At Home! (I have lunch food in my drawer/the office fridge, my mobile and my travel card. I don't need no stinking plastic )

I have re-discovered my love of cooking/baking since I've been strapped. At first I returned to making my own out of necessity but it wasn't long before I realised I was really enjoying it. We use convenience stuff because we think it saves time but it doesn't really save as much time as you think - it just becomes an expensive habit.

More smart price essentials I remembered:
Shower gel - 23p a bottle; has a hook to hang conveniently on the shower tray (a must for me, I hate the ones that don't hang up!); doesn't smell fantastic but it is OK and lathers well.
Antiperspirant - 43p a can; pleasant mild smell but only OK if you don't mind white powder - lot of the leading brands are still white powder anyway.

Well done you for leaving the placcy at home! Can anyone remember life before plastic cards and mobile phones?? I think it was a lot less stressful then - not that I'm all that old lol; we just have to train ourselves to distinguish between want and need. Once we have that sussed, we can decide whether the wants are still worth it.

englishmac

ZTD wrote: »

Buy fruit. Loads of fruit...

Don't buy fruit at the supermarket. Buy it from the market stall. It is cheaper there and it usually lasts longer. Also, if you buy a lot at once they are usually pretty good with you and start to pop in an extra one or two of what you are buying for the same price.

Have you added your motivational blurbs to your food stores? Magnet for the fridge easy - plenty cheap ones available and will probably more than make up for their cost over time. Make up some blurbs for your other cupboards as well though.

Diane_239

what a great post. A friend recently told me to write my debt on a piece of paper and keep in my purse so that every time i went to spend money on something i didn't really need i would have a reminder of what money i owed I've been doing this for a few weeks now and its really helping I've started to think twice before buying that magazine or a impulse buy that will just sit in the cupboard and never get used.

deliciosa

Hi ZTD,

I am eating fruits too!

The savings, well they don't go anywhere as I don't have them, they just won't be spent on the credit card, which is good isn't it?

I am down about the gym payment they took yesterday (wrote it down in diary) - b****ds.

Tryign hard not to spend but ran out of money and must spend on CC or starve. One week to go till payday.

deliciosa

CAFCGirl wrote: »

I paid £35 for my shoes and £45 for my dress....
Shoes are soft brown leather peep toes, about 3 1/2 inch heel :eek:
Am yet to decide how I'm gonna get round NY in those!

And dress is just yummy! really 50's style prom dress.... from Zara.. :T

Had the best day ever!

:T :T :T Well done, mm I love high heels!!! Don't worry they will be fine as long as there is a strap - is there???

What a successful , budgeted, dfw shopping - proud of you!!!:beer: :j