MOT and twins - Start of our new life!

mumoftwins

No not in bye byes yet A, but won't be long. Actually came to look at cinema times for tomorrow as I-T has suggested visit to cinema tomorrow night:D as twins are with their father this weekend.

Thank you A and Locutus for supportive posts they are much aneeded and appreciated. A, I will speak it out loud in the car as possibly better out than in my head and will endeavour to speak it out loud wherever possible - watch out for St Albans Review heading "Mad delirious woman found wandering around streets of St Albans berating her past":rolleyes: .

Anyway enough excitement for now and A, the thought of moving to the MIdlands again now seems ridiculous but thats mood swings for you isn't it ? I guess I must have my 'normal me' head on again

Nite nite all xx

ampersand

Good girl, damadicorte[you must ring i-t;) and ask him], a.k.a. mot.
Just checking up on how you are.
################
Yes, it's certainly better spoken out, rather than held in head.
Reduces it all to mere words, verbiage, breath expended and done.
Think about it, the bad stuff has only that fixed sphere to race about in,
chasing its own tail, catching up with itself, feeding upon itself.
Name something, especially a fear, and it loses much of its power.
Also - don't dismiss this either - you can always sing it away, or simply sing along with BIIIIG music, as small people I knew once called it, for Classical.
May I recommend you ALWAYS have Vivaldi's Gloria on standby in car AND in house?
It's easily learnt, wonderful to be part of, even when you're alone.
The only agonising is over how to sing all the parts at once.
In fact, I may find libretto and attach to e-m over the weekend.
Big Bonjour to F & A, please -think about what we shall cook next time...
You know what your new house is like, mot, returning to Title(we'll call it 'home' :j when you move in).
Be thinking about what you'd like to see there and also look at Lidl's garden specials, link here:
http://www.lidl.co.uk/uk/home.nsf/pages/c.o.20080306.index.ar3?OpenDocument&id=397&country=GB&zipcode=PE19+1&city=St.+Neots&city2=&street=Cambridge+Street++45&ar=3&nf=True
Or, think about going to a carboot early tomorrow morning?
When times like yesterday come, 'take' yourself to the view from a window in new house that you already know will become your private vista. Is there a window-ledge? Is something growing there? Bulbs? Are there herbs, even in a jamjar? Try to always have something, even wintry twigs and a trail or two of ivy at that window. Envisage yourself rubbing your fingers on rosemary, thyme, mint, lemon balm.
Let yourself into that world. It's yours, capable of infinite variety and solace with something green, growing or living in it.
Now is also the time to take a couple of budding twigs and stalks from trees and shrubs as you walk. In water, they'll burst into leaf.
We can all stay alive in small ways.

Wol2

Morning MOT, morning Ampersand, Morning everyone!!!!

Just back on line after 3 days away with no internet connection and felt I had to post and say

First of all MOT....

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

You are doing really really well!!


If you think about how you feel now compared to say 3 or 4 months ago....well, dear lovely lady....what tremendous progress!!:T

When I think back to how I was feeling 3 months ago......a small blip would have sunk without trace given the big black pit I was in most of the time. Now I have started to move forwards...I have much more time when I feel good and upbeat...and thus when some event or thought prods me....and a blip happens...even if it is a small one and fleeting...it feels really big and I get very cross and frustrated with myself (after I've spent some time feeling really despondent that..."here I am again...is it ever going to go away or get any better"!!.) And i do find that talking about it to a supportive someone helps me to regain a rational perspective...

And I also find now that it doesn't last half as long as it used to..and it may take 24 hours or so to get my focus back and build myself back up to my previous upbeat level....but I do get back up...give myself a big hug..do something nice/enjoyable for me as a reward.... and put my best foot forwards.

And I then say to myself...well done girl...even though at the time it felt pretty rough....you actually dealt with that one much better (less emotional intensity, less panicky behaviour/actions/thoughts as a result....quicker time to restore balance etc) than you did last week, even better than you used to do last month and compared to 3 months ago , it was a real doddle!!

So to give and example....today, I am back up after a rather gruelling 3 day training course that involved a lot of personal stuff...and caused a tremendous blip on thursday. But driving back yesterday evening I thought....hey...3 months ago I would not have been strong enough to even go on a course like that..so what an achievement..first to actually go and secondly that I saw it through to the end!! ....(treated myself to a long soak with special bubble bath last night!!)

So MOT.....Today is the start of new day...and it will be better than yesterday!! (for a start..there is no school run!!) Please pat yourself on the back...big time. You have come through another week of limbo..with associated and completely normal emotional blips when you felt a bit vulnerable.....but you have worked your way through them rationally, put them back into perspective and worked out some new strategies to deal with them in future in a more positive way.:j

And of course we are alll still here...and willing you on..epecially in those blippy moments. You ARE getting there ....and we all admire and support your tremendous courage tenacity and spirit......and rest assured there will be fewer and weaker blips as time goes on!

Loads more hugs
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Love
Wol2
xxx

ampersand

Oh, so good to see you back and know you're o.k. wol2.
Have tried to 'phone and email - daemon mailer rtn'd.
Just a note - not school run maybe, but run for twins>papa is another sort of fraught.

mumoftwins

Morning Ampersand, Wol2 and everyone,

Loved your messages they are a great source of comfort, and yes Papa run was fraught - getting twins ready then having to sit waiting for him to arrive and to have small exchange of words with him 'who is bringing them back, what time time and I'll meet you here again' Handed over a letter to him with a change of dates for the twins in April and May and giving him suggested new dates which will enable twins to see him as much but means that he will have to make journeys for 2 consecutive weekends twice which won;t please him:rolleyes: , and also asking for his part of tremendous payment for School Journey in June and enclosing a list of items they will need for same having highlighted the items I will get or already have. I asked for his response by return - very much doubt it will be forthcoming so that will be another thing to chase up :mad: .

On a more pleasant note I-T has said that after my having such a bad yesterday, and on other occasions this week, he wants to take me into London today (leaving at 11.10am) to go for a snacky lunch and to a show this afternoon so will be out of my usual routine which I hope will be the 'blast' I need to pick myself up....for now.

Have a lovely day all of you xx

locutus2003

:T I-T :T What a great idea! I hope you had a lovely lunch and enjoyed the show ... what did you go and see? Oooh ... I'm all excited for you and I hope you had a great time.

xx

Mollymop5

Hope you've had a lovely day and been givien the boost you needed

beanielou

HOpe things are brighter today MOT
It seems a lot of peeps are really struggling at the mo~is it the time of year.
Im also finding it really hard to cope with even the smallest blip at the mo, and there seems to be alot of blips at the mo!
Anyway have a great Weekend hun

mumoftwins

locutus2003 wrote: »

:T I-T :T What a great idea! I hope you had a lovely lunch and enjoyed the show ... what did you go and see? Oooh ... I'm all excited for you and I hope you had a great time.

xx

Well, we went into London to Leicester Square and bought tickets at a ticket booth for Hairspray. Then went and had a light lunch and walked to Shaftesbury Ave to see the show and what a disappointment it was!!! The reviews said it was 'side splittingly funny' and 'uplifting' - now I-T and I have a very good sense of humour but the storyline was weak and the few jokes there were were not very funny! It was such a shame as Michael Ball played the 'Mother' and was made up in a costume not unlike that of Mrs Doubtfire but why????? A large woman could have played the same part. The story briefly touched on the integration of blacks and whites and also on large women being as good for society as thin but on the whole it was nowhere near as good as its reviews made it out to be.

I'm dragging I-T back after Easter to see Dirty Dancing which I am sure will be full of good music, fabulous dancing and love although another I'd like to see is The Phanthom of the Opera.

But we had a nice day and had good conversations with 3 total strangers on the train and tube :rotfl: and it was nice to be out and doing something different :j .

Today is a relaxing day with the papers I think before I collect the twins at 5pm.

Have a lovely day everyone xx

jillie1974

glad you had a great day out.
im hairspray the 'mother' is traditionally played by a male actor for some reason. i think john travolta played the same role in the recent film. tho must admit i would have preferred to see dirty dancing!!
any plans for today??