Absolute Despair - Can you guide me?

Savvy_Sue

barbie, I don't know if this will help, but I live surrounded by men, and sometimes if I don't get a straight answer, I tell them what the default is, ie what I assume is going to happen unless they tell me otherwise.

This can be as simple as "The default is that you make me a cup of tea unless I've already got one" or "The default is that I won't cook for you unless you tell me you will be back by 6 pm."

Or as complicated as "I may be able to give you a lift to your activities tomorrow, but I cannot do this if you do not tell me where you need to be and when you need to be there. If you wait until I get home from work and then say that you need a lift, that may be too late because if you don't tell me the day before that you need a lift, I shall probably let your dad have the car and he'll be late home. Alternatively, if you would like a lift home, you need to talk to us about this because we can probably do this, but only if we know where you will be."

I wonder if he is unsure what his default position is, and it probably hasn't occurred to him that you might actually have a point beyond you won't be pushed or messed around.

So, what's your default? That you want him gone, or you want him to stay until after baby arrives? (Can't remember how soon that is, but if you have another couple of weeks at work that may be longer than you want.)

Maybe it goes something like this. "Unless you can promise me that you will be here to care for our daughter when the baby arrives, I would prefer to make other arrangements, and to avoid too much disruption for her, I would like you to move out by the end of this week."

Heard back from the church leader yet?

grey_lady

!!!!!!? tell him - that he's either in or out right now!
all this backwards and forwards for a month must be driving you insane.

Ellidee

Great post Savvy-Sue. Hope you are ok Barbiegirl. Thinking of you and sending ((((hugs))) and positive vibes. XX

haylibo

It's been a very exhausting day. My husband is still here and tonight I asked him to let me know where I stand? I thought it was a fair question to ask but he said I must tell him.
Sorry if I am way off beam here but having followed this thread it sounds like, possibly niether you nor your husband is 100% sure you want this relationship over. Is there still some doubt on his part do you think? Just wondering whether there is a glimmer of hope?
Hayles

minimoneysaver

Hey Barbiegirl, how are you doing today? Big hugs to you and your little girl. I am thinking about you! x

Careful_with_that_Axe

Still thinking about you and sending you sunny thoughts
x

Mandles

how's it going?

destiny_star2006

I went through the same situation without a daughter already and im a stronger person because of this!
If you dont mind me asking how can things have changed so much in a space of 9 months u dont have to answer that as its none of my business but maybe you two are just bored with eachother and maybe just need couple counselling???

belfastgirl23

just bumping a little bit ... hope things are okay

minimoneysaver

Still no news?