We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

blue_monkey_2

Thanks A, yes I will. I am trying to think positive.

We are supposed to be gone today, Mum is getting the bailiff form filled out at the weekend so I guess we will have another 5 weeks. Fingers crossed the list is out tomorrow. I get feelings where I'll suddenly get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and feel like I'll top breathing but I am trying to not let these turn into panic attacks and think of other things. I need to see the doc so will mention these to her as well.

jillie1974

that rainbow was a sign...
hope the list is better this time for you.

floss2

Write a list of things to speak to the Doc about - you can guarantee that you won'r be able to remember everything when you get in there.

blue_monkey_2

Hi Floss, not a lot really, just have to go and get stocks of my asthma medicine and 'the pill' incase we are in the hostel. I have to have my BP checked as I have a lot of womens problems and this pill is the last thing before resulting in the dreaded hysterectomy. I keep on hoping for the menopause, mum was young too - 38, I am 37 this year - but that should sort this out, I don;t have time for a huge op like the big H so the M would be better (more problems I know but it would be nice to know that the 'end' is nearly here, LOL). But there is not a great deal, getting the medication and then I'll mention these panic type attacks, I think they are normal, they come on without me thinking about things but I think it is a combinations of all of this, knowing that the end is near and also I must have everything whirring around subconciously but I am too busy looking at everything else happening around me to want to think about it all the time.

I have found a friend who will take my washing machine & drier, I think it is just going to be a case of palming stuff off on people if we need to but I would rather be prepared (just in case). I laghed to hubby that we would have to keep a list as our stuff would be spread far and wide. What happens to the wardrobes worries me. I think that almost everything else is covered and we will find places to put them all or sell them but if we have to pay £160 a month to store some wardrobes then surely it would be better to flog them for £50 each and use them to buy more later on. I think that everything else we have storage for, bedstead is broken and we have a new one (£35 from Empire stores!!) boxed and waiting. The people storing my stock have told me I can have 2 more crates for £12.50 a week (total, not each) so all of our other boxes, mattresses can go in there and we also have the van for storing stuff that will not be affected by cold.

it probably sounds daft to have al these things planned already but this is my way of dealing with things and making sure that if we have nowhere to live then everything is covered.

I have been on MSE all morning so I must get on and do my ironing and tidying. Thanks for listening. Speak later. BM xx

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Read up to page 3 but haven't got the time to read everything, did you find out why your mother needed to sell the house?

If she was my mother, she'd have to give me a pretty good reason why she was making me and my family homeless.

Just to add kettle is invaluable, I remembered when I was in a hostel many moons ago, I used it cook!!, cook in the bag rice, sauces etc, boiled eggs!!!!!, saved my life especially with a babe in tow.


AMD

ampersand

Hope you find/make the time to follow what bm is having to live through.
You'll find the answer in other posts when you read on.
bm's mother's motives do not alter what is happening to bm, unbelievable though it may seem to you, to anyone, in this day and age.
Other Threads from other posters make this abundantly clear.
It takes time to read them.
I'm glad you came through your own time in a hostel and seem well on track as a dfw.

blue_monkey_2

Hi AMD,

No, still no clear cut reason.

I think one of 2 reasons to be honest, where she works now her supervisor keeps on telling her that he will get her sacked so his son can work there instead. Nice.

But also, she suffered a lot of abuse from her dad and then in turn met my dad and suffered mental, physical ad sexual abuse from my dad - all of which we was witness to but back then it was never something understood or talked about. She never left - he did in the end - but he did not pay any maintainance and instead said that she could have 'his share' of the house in exchange for not paying child support.

It was this house that we live in, I think it is the combination of needing the money so she can leave her job or not have the worry of getting sacked and also that she needs to get rid of the house to be able to move on. She suffers a lot of illness and depression, she is never comfortable in the house and if she comes round does not even take her coat off, just will come in, stay for 5 minutes max and then leave with some excuse.

I was really upset and angry to start with but I have started to get some things into perspective and I've realised that everything is for a reason. For me though, I am tired of the insecurity this brings to my own family but I feel better knowing that in a years time we should have a place that is our own and it will all be over. Where we are now people have keys and come in and out as they feel - it has never been somewhere we have felt secure in and we always worried if something happened tomum that my other brothers and sister would come in and take our stuff (yes, they are like this I am afraid), so it is the right time for us to move on. I wish we had done so before having the children and just left her to get on with it and got somewhere of our own, but you cannot turn back the clock and life is what it is.

It is the time for a new beginning and start for all of us. ronically the rest of the family are moving on too, my sister has left her husband and is moving out of the village this weekend, my brother has leftand my other sister is talking about leaving and mum is selling the house, I have no illusions that I will still live in this area as I know we will not be, it is more that I do not like knowing where I won't be (if that makes sense). Changes for everyone.

I am starting to get over the anger (I have my days) and upset of it all but at the same time have started to look at everything ina new and refreshed light. I would rather she be honest about it all but she isn't but maybe she is embarrassed over doing what she feels she needs to do. We have never been super close as a family to be able to tell each other things, understandable really though I guess. She made some comment the other day and I realised that she wants to get the most she can from it, maybe for all the suffering she endured at the handsof my father to get it. Right now, after all this time, I can totally understand this. This house was never 'ours' after all and we have been lucky to live in the same house for a long time and give the kids a good start. We have given my mum the reward of the house being in the condition it is, I would like to think that if she sells she maybe would give us enough money to carpet the house or something (does that sound greedy? Sorry, it is just all the money we had went on this for her so we have nothing left).

Yes, I know, I am making the best of things, more so that my son has been diagnosed with behaviour problems and being on the Autistic Spectrum, he does not like changes and his life wil be turned upside down. it is hard to explain if you do not know of someone with a child with autistic problems. I would have no problem if it was hubby, DD & I as we would al cope perfectly - but my son wouldn't and I am doing the fighting for him mainly (sorry DD), there are just a lot of aspects with hostel life that are not suitable for him, it is not about packing and going, he needs stability and day to day routines. As A says, there is a lot on the post about all of this, but he is not a baby, he is 4 now and has his set routines and needs structure to his day.

It is funny how far the post has come since I started this thread, my son had not even been diagnosed with problems back then so the posts now are far more relevant now, read the last 4 or 5 pages and they'll help more with the explaination.

PS. Still not started the ironing, LOL!!

blue_monkey_2

LOL, I just went back and read your post again as I misread the first time and I chuckled at the thought of you using the kettle to cook - I would never have thought of this in a million years. There are 4 of us and we do not eat rice, the thought of cramming the pasta in the kettle did make me laugh out loud as that is just genius!! Thank you

AMILLIONDOLLARS

Needs must in those days, the kitchen was disgusting and I couldn't bring myself to cook in it. Anyway good luck I hope everything works out for the future. I just hope for your mum's sake, she not jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, by the sounds of it, she hasn't had much luck with men!

AMD

vivatifosi

According to my husband, who works for an airline, some of the cabin crew wash their smalls in the kettle... Its amazing what you can do with a kettle, could be a thread all by itself! Would upset the Health and Safety numpties though...

I always wash the kettle and boil it several times whenever I stay somewhere new now!