Abbey cocked up, leaving me with family problems!

spinningsheep

Matty999, I do feel for you in this situation, one thing that strikes me though is that your brother doesn't seem to want to even entertain the idea that the bank have made any kind of error,suggesting he kind of WANTS you to be in the wrong, after all, I would want and try every way to prove that a friend or family member was in no way guilty of any sort of fraud or illegal activity, rather than immediately deciding they are guilty as charged. As some others have said, at the end of all this, do you think you and your brother would have anything like the relationship you enjoyed prior to this all kicking off? I appreciate the issue is that you have been tarnished and banished from the family fold, and that issue would obviously be sorted if Abbey were found to be in the wrong at the end of all this, but you and your brother will still have this whole nasty episode hanging about like the elephant in the corner for ever more. I cant get my head round how any rational sane person could behave in that manner, but hey there are some mighty strange people out there. Have you tried talking to any other family members? If they see the whole story they may be able to make him see sense. Good luck. On a side note,as much as Abbey have screwed up bigtime, no amount of financial compensation would help you get to see your family, although a real letter of apology would be nice.

LuciferTDark

Why haven't you been in touch with the local press about this? I'd have it splashed across the front page of my local paper exactly what, how & why it happened.

Mikeyorks

matty999 wrote: »

Tell me, how the hell Abbey can open an account in someone elses details with MY documents sat in front of them.

That's exactly where I start to have a problem with your posts. But - I can just about get my head around the possibility it can happen. Where I really opt out is that - having done that - you then allege they wrote to your brother. Not only saying (and why would they do that if he was oblivious of the account?) an account had been opened ..... but breaking every confidentiality rule by stating the account was proper to you. Why would they do that - there is no rationale?

You then go on to say that he had to go in to close the account! I've seen lots of cases where things start out badly ... then get worse. But I'm afraid that stretches my credulity a little too far.

If you have evidence they wrote to your brother about your account - then put in a formal complaint on the basis of breach of confidentiality. But do it properly via their formal complaint route, this time. And do it now, in preference to constant references to 'not letting Abbey get away with it'!

MrSafeGaz

peter999 wrote: »

What a stupid reply, have you never seen what can happen in families !!

peter999

Right back at you, I suggest you cut down on the soap operas.

Of course things can happen in families but based on the information given, the brothers reaction is irrational. Basically, if the OP wants to sort things out with his brother I would suggest that the Abbey can't do much about it (given that they have already admitted the mistake to him) and that perhaps there is more to this falling out than meets the eye, maybe even things the OP is unaware of.

NinaSwiss

I do feel for you OP. Not on the topic matter but on the attack you are receiving. However i dont feel that you are helping by being extremely defensive and attacking everyone at the hint that they do not agree with you.

In a way I can see where some of the posters are coming from else is coming from as I have a relative that I could not trust with anything and if left to her vices, would steal me out of house and home and yet pretend to help me look for it. This same person stole over £4000 from my mum's account whilst living under her roof and has been caught on several occassions using genuine peoples names to run scams. we still interact with her because she is family. We both have the same initials and surname and were both registered at the same bank.... so i decided to cancel my account with the bank. When ever she visits me, I always ensure i have hidden away any valuable letters or documents round the house.

Imagine my panic when my flatmate mentioned that someone had tried to purchase something online using her account details a few days after this relative payed me a visit. First thing that came to mind was that.... it must have been her. I had a major argument with her about it ...and after i got more of the story, it turned out it could not have been her. The point is there was a history there that made me think the way i did. Now she could tell her friends i accused her of something i had no proof of...without mentioning why i was too easy to point the finger...hope you get my drift


However im not saying you have anything to hide but giving you my reason for agreeing with some of the posts here but then again life is not black and white.


Back to the topic in discussion,

Your main question was
"Where do i stand making a personal claim for damages against abbey, is there any point? Im so furious now and feel they should receive some sort of punishment for my pain!"

Most answers seem to indicate that you dont stand much of a chance and that your are better of using your energy to try to re-build the relationship with your brother. It seems you did not want the opinion but for people to agree with you(which is fair enough...and understandable) If you really want to purse it (even with the possibility that you will loose money) you would be better of getting some proper legal help.

You seem really emotional about it all. Yes Abbey was at fault but think about this....situations like this realy makes you wonder who you can trust these days. I mean if your brother can cut all relations with you just like that and be so easy to judge you when you have explained yourself... he might not be who you thought he was.

regards

exel1966

Definatlely more to this than meets the eye.

Abbey screwed up BIG TIME, they admitted it to him. Your brother refutes this, but why ? He obviously has a severe mistrust of you, but again why ? What is the underlying reason for that suspicion and mistrust of you ? Is it just his irrationality OR is there really something else driving the anymosity he has towards you ?

I think you've let this go on for far too long and that has squandered your chances of success in persuing Abbey for anything you may have wanted, but as has ben said before you have to follow official procedures to get them to possibly listen or seek legal advice but TBH I think you'll be wasting a lot of time and a lot more money.

Pound

What is it you'd like Abbey to do in order to resolve this?

dunstonh

probably appear on an episode of Jeremy Kyle with an Abbey representative, him and his brother. They can all talk rubbish and knock the hell out of each other and not resolve anything.

peter999

MrSafeGaz wrote: »

Right back at you, I suggest you cut down on the soap operas.

Of course things can happen in families but based on the information given, the brothers reaction is irrational. Basically, if the OP wants to sort things out with his brother I would suggest that the Abbey can't do much about it (given that they have already admitted the mistake to him) and that perhaps there is more to this falling out than meets the eye, maybe even things the OP is unaware of.

Yes, the brother's reaction may be irrational & paranoid, but what's new.

From the OP's original post, it does not sound like it was clear it was Abbey's mistake, simply an account had been wrongly opened, then naming the OP.

This could easily be misunderstood.

matty999 wrote: »

However my brother then got a letter through saying i had opened an account, which had subsequently been opened in his name and apologising, he took this as ME opening an account in his name, and a large family row erupted.

The brother has wrongly associated the two, that the OP somehow opened the account.

I agree that even a letter from Abbey may not fully resolve & there may be more to the brother's reaction that the OP is not aware of.

In this day & age, with distant family relationships, paranoia over ID fraud/money, I can understand why the brother could mistrust & think the OP had something to do with it.

peter999

jinkssick

Its Abbeys mistake.

They rectified their mistake.

Your brother should have taken your word for it.

Him being angry is something that you cannot help, so this is an internal problem. I wouldnt batter an eyelid at your bro.