WWYD? Request to loan in-laws money

IWasHereBefote

It’s the bankrupt sibling that’s living rent free.

The charge would go on the new house.

sheramber

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81932506#Comment_81932506

When is that likely to be sold to reclaim your money, as their financial track record isn’t promising as far as repayment goes?

Point out to your husband what you will not be able to do without that money.

Is your husband prepared to go ahead and give the money away despite you not agreeing?

akm2018

They won’t use online banking so anticipate DH having to collect cash from them irregularly

People seem to be not mentioning this astonishing (to me anyway) facet. This isn't so much a red flag as a whole platoon of men walking along in front of a car waving anything red they can lay their hands on! What are they, drug dealers??

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81933843#Comment_81933843

"drug dealers"? Harsh!

Lots of people in their late 60s/70s don't do online banking (the OP's husband is in his early 50s so that will be the age of the parents).

It's certainly not an 'astonishing facet' (sic).

I'm a similar age and do online banking (as well as lots of other online stuff) but I have a finance/IT background but I do appreciate that other people in the same age bracket don't.

Your assumption that everyone - regardless of age - is up with technology is just as bad as those posters who think that everyone over 69 lacks IT/financial skills and sits in a bath chair wrapped in a fluffy bed jacket.

How old are you?

Sea_Shell

There's always phone banking, if they don't want to do internet.

My two pennies worth...just say no!!

Hopefully, you'll be on the same page and can present a united front, otherwise I fear for your relationship.

You might fall out with family, but better that than with your other half.

Who do you have to live with?!?

Happy Spouse, happy house.

akm2018

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81933981#Comment_81933981

So they don't like computers, fine. Do they not have a chequebook then? (I'm old enough to remember them!)

Borrowing "£30-40k" and saying you're going to pay it back in cash is, and I stand by it, astonishing.

Pollycat

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81934110#Comment_81934110

I have no idea if they have a cheque book or not.

I'm not the OP.

Even if they did have a cheque book, the OP's husband would still either have to call to collect the cheque or they wait until it turns up in the post.

I'm not disagreeing with you regarding repayment in cash.

It's your nasty slur regarding 'drug dealers' and your 'astonishment' regarding the OP's parents not doing online banking that I find distasteful.

MEM62

They’re £30-40k short and have asked DH to loan them this money and they will pay it back over 3-4 years.

Do not do this under any circumstances.

IWasHereBefote

Just to straighten a couple of things out, they’re not drug dealers and they’ve never sent a cheque here (was very common for my family to do so before internet banking became the norm). They haven’t expressly said that they would repay in cash, but that’s their usual approach. (My nan, who lived far away, once came downstairs with £5k in cash when our car broke down and my dad needed to buy a new one to get us home, so it’s not that long ago that this was standard practice.)

FIL is a bit of a conspiracy theorist so I suspect that has something to do with it, and MIL never worked so just went along with FIL, I think. They’re older than my parents who have mastered online banking without issue.

I don’t think there is a plan to sell the second property - they’ll be seeking to maintain long term housing for the one sibling whilst maximising potential future inheritance.

DH is away with work for a few days so I don’t expect to hear much back. I don’t think it is our issue to fix and there is just too much risk for us at this level of funding.

IWasHereBefote

I don’t understand this point? The sibling wouldn’t owe anything: DH’s parents would.

My main concern about payback is that they clearly have no contingency fund for any emergency works and that would lead to them being unable to make payments for a period of time. They will be further away from us in the new property so if they won’t make payments online we would be expected to collect envelopes of cash as our schedules allow (which isn’t that often). They haven’t come here for well over a decade.