WWYD? Request to loan in-laws money

IWasHereBefote

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81933152#Comment_81933152

sorry - I was trying to quote this post but it didn’t work.

sheramber

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81935434#Comment_81935434

No nothing to do with sibling.

You mentioned a charge on the new house for your money.

I was pointing out that if they did not pay anything back ( the track record for budgeting money is not good) then you wouldn’t get your money back until that house was sold, probably many years from now.

IWasHereBefote

I don’t know where the budgeting point comes from?

They’ve lived in the family house for over 50 years and had savings and investments which they have used to give large sums to 3/4 of their children over the years. Not being able to put a hand on £30-40k isn’t an indication they don’t budget. He has a gold plated public sector pension and they both get full state pensions on top. I’m not sure what the housing market is like around there, but I presume they expected to get enough from selling the family house to cover the cost of the new house plus stamp duty, but whatever has happened since with getting houses sorted out, they’ve decided to sell the less valuable one which means they won’t get as much cash and it will incur CGT which they won’t have factored in previously.

They’re exceptionally tight people. I would imagine there are still investments they don’t want to liquidate and see me and DH as the “easy option”, and if this is not sufficient reason to liquidate shares, a new boiler/roof wouldn’t be either, hence potential flakiness on repayment.

But DH seemed to be doing some research on CGT so I expect he has gone back to them pointing out that they would have fewer issues if they sold the family house rather than the inherited one, as originally planned. They have to complete in Sept so need to get a wiggle on. (And the family house is still very much a monument to the 1970s so potentially needs a fair bit of work to it to get it ready for sale.)

pollypenny

You can easily sus out what the local housing market is like by going on Right Move. Don't just look at asking prices for the area, but look at what similar houses went for.

IWasHereBefote

had a quick look but not much has sold around the family home.

I’d guess the new home is about £250/260k, family home around £230-240k and the inherited house around £110k.

NBLondon

Didn't you say your husband was self-employed? So that's an immediate reason for him not to loan out money e.g. if he breaks a leg and can't work for 3 months.

If they do have other investments but won't cash them in that's another huge red flag that they are taking husband for a ride.

IWasHereBefote

It’s all coming out now. Apparently DH told them months ago that he had money if they needed it before any of this came up, and despite telling me a fortnight ago that he was going to ask them why they had changed their minds and point out they wouldn’t need more money if they stuck with the original plan, he didn’t.

More than a bit furious.

Titus_Wadd

My first husband was employed by his father. When his dad's business started to fail my ex stopped drawing a wage to help out.i was working 12 hour shifts, all hours to keep us afloat.

The father wanted to retire so he let the business fold and they thought I was miserable for not coming outside to admire their new car 🤨. My ex was unemployed and we were struggling. The promised £££ in lieu of back pay never materialised, a new car did. We didn't have a car!

It was the beginning of the end for the marriage. I'm still sorry I didn't speak my mind to the in-laws at the time and that was 40 years ago! A short firm refusal now might head off a world of pain going forward when the repayments falter.

Maybe examination of your husband's feelings of guilt or responsibility towards his parents (not here on a public forum) might empower him to view the whole loan idea more objectively? My husband now is the self-sufficient sibling in his family and we too live furthest from his folks. We accepted that other siblings who were on hand had all the little hand outs because their parents perceived that we were doing well. We had no freebie ad hoc childcare but that was our problem.

Some folk find it harder to say no than others but I hope that's the decision your husband reaches himself, because the loan sounds like a bad idea separate from his feelings of obligation.

Titus_Wadd

I just wanted to add, for a probate house to have increased in value by ££££ in the period since inheriting it (is it around a year, sorry I lost track) seems a lot but I'll freely admit I don't know. Is the £40k fully accounted for or just a rounded up figure presented to your other half?

None of this diverts me from my initial reaction which is to politely but firmly decline. As the parent of adult kids making their own way in the world, I would sell my last asset rather than ask them for a loan, and your in-laws have another house they can sell to fund their life choices.

OP let us know how it all turns out?

IWasHereBefote

It has gotten so much worse since I last updated the thread.

Turns out they have been undertaking work to the new property and have moved some stuff into it, even though they don’t own it yet. They haven’t done anything to ready either of their houses for sale and are now 4 months from the completion date on the new house. The sellers are getting arsey and PIL seem not to have realised that the completion date is a legal requirement. 3 of the 4 siblings are now running around trying to resolve things, but PIL have only just been told that failure to complete means losing the deposit and probably being sued.

Despite this, they are saying that the inherited house can’t go on the market yet as it needs work doing to it, but the lawyers are saying they need to get it sold ASAP. There is someone that is interested in it but would be at 90% of the price they want for it.

Rightmove shows nothing is moving quickly in the area. They aren’t prepared to sell the family home.

So they will either sell at a lower price to have it complete in time to buy the other house, but have an additional shortfall, or be unable to buy the house at all and lose £25k deposit and risk legal action for the work undertaken.

DH is now talking about potentially having to buy the new house for his parents, possibly with the other earning sibling. I am on the warpath. I have told him clearly that any transaction has a potentially detrimental impact on me and DD and he is not free to make that decision alone.