Looking To The Future With Hope

RhiBi

so, I’ve set up 7 different savings accounts on my chase account for different pots. I’ve also got a notebook and have written down my bills for the month from my next pay date, and allocated money to the different pots.

Ive also applied for a water meter. My bill is currently £59.77 a month, and according to the website its set to rise by about 4.6% from April, so I’ve filled in the online form and now have to wait for a phone call. If I don’t see a saving I’ve got 2 years to opt to have it taken out, so I’ve got nothing to lose. I usually shower, although do like a bath occasionally. I have a dishwasher, and do water the garden in the summer, but I’m hoping to make some savings. I’m not really sure how they read the meter and if the bill will alter monthly or if it’ll be a set DD like other utilities, but I’m sure it’ll all become clear.

So I’ve done quite a few MSE things today, a lot of it is organisation rather than actually saving, but hopefully it’ll help to make things simpler.

daisy_1571

Sounds like you are getting very organised. Dont be afraid to tweak as you go along but the first, most important, step is to get something in place. Well done taking the time to do the hard work, your future self will thank you 👍

DDxx

honeybee1234

Hi @RhiBi, I think you're doing great! I got a water meter, and as someone who lives alone (except when the kids are here) and does a regular amount of showering/washing up/etc, I found it saved a fair bit monthly so it's a good shout on your part.

I also wanted to say the 'finding joy in each day' that you wrote about is something I also did when coming out of a particularly bad stretch. I found it a bit like an exercise that some days was difficult but those were the days I looked for something, anything that was positive, no matter how small or even personal and it really does become ingrained after a while. What you mentioned about the blue sky I totally appreciate - noticing the little things about the everyday are just as significant as big notable events and there's always something to notice 🙂

RhiBi

That’s a similar situation to me @honeybee1234 mostly here on my own, but daughter is here when not in uni.

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been through difficult times, but I’m glad that things are improving for you. Yesterday’s joy was found in a home cooked tea, with a glass of wine. I suspect today’s will be getting into a freshly made bed tonight. I’ve stripped the bed, but we’ll gloss over the battle with the duvet and look to get into bed tonight!

RhiBi

Good morning, I’m back from my week away and today it’ll all be about the washing! The downside to going away. When I got home my two dogs were very happy to see me, and I couldn’t wait to see them today, so yesterday evening was all about cuddles with them!

I’m unsure of how much to share about an incident that happened the day before I went away, I’ll add some things but for reason that will become clear I am not going to go into great detail.

My ex-husband (not in the eyes of the law) came to the house to collect some of his things the day before I was going away. He was aware I had decided to go on the “our holiday” with my sister in law. I was worried he would be angry, and I was right to be worried. He caused damage to things he believed he paid for, he smashed up my mobile phone when he realised that I was filming him, he pushed and shoved me around, I have photos of the bruises I sustained. I need to buy a new freesat box, a new television, and a new mobile phone. Suffice to say my emergency fund will take a hit! I intend to contact my IDVA and apply for an order to prevent him coming anywhere near me, my family or place of work.

I told my sister in law what had happened and she was amazing with me, and the week away was like therapy in some ways, with some cocktails and wine thrown in!

On coming home, I received a letter to say that my M&S loan with an outstanding balance of £4303 has been written off, so that’s a positive. I also received a default notice from Barclaycard, so I will need to start the DMP process with that one. They’ve not written to acknowledge any of the information with regard to a write off request though so I’m a bit unsure of how to go about that.

So, onwards and upwards I go again, I’ll keep looking to the future with hope!

Baldybear

De lurking to say sorry that your ex treated you like that, should you report to police espeically as already has a record with that, not just for you but dont want future peoplw being objected to the same. Cant get over why some people are so.horrible and petty.

On the other hand so pleased you had such a lovely timw away, onwards and upwards you are doing brilliantly.

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81926110#Comment_81926110

Thank you. Once I get a replacement phone I am going to speak to my IDVA for advice.

ArtyJ931

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81926123#Comment_81926123

RhiBi

You are doing amazing with everything you have on your plate. Every day is a new day - sometimes you’ll do things regarding your abuser that you will wonder why - treat yourself like a friend and forgive anything you see as a mistake. Future you is thanking you so much for doing all this hard work to provide her with a peaceful life.

I would massively recommend a book called Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft if you haven’t read it. It is fantastic and will help in your healing journey.

big hugs xx

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81926148#Comment_81926148

Thank you, your reply brought tears to my eyes, I am so grateful for the kindness shown.

I’ve heard of the book but not read it so will look it up on my kindle, thank you xx

ArtyJ931

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81926177#Comment_81926177

you deserve kindness. The book is fantastic and the best one I’ve ever read. It will help you hugely as you recover from this situation xx