Looking To The Future With Hope

RhiBi

Morning!

I had a nice surprise when I logged onto my Chase account, I scrolled down and noticed I had £18.72 in rewards, so that was swiftly moved to my emergency fund!

I’m back to work on Monday and back to full time, phased return and annual leave is over. I’m trying to look at it as another step back to normality, although I am apprehensive.

Today’s task is food shopping and some batch cooking. The weather is nice here so I’m hoping to sort the garden out too. I’m no gardener but I like nice plants, the problem is I have no idea what needs cutting back and what is dead after the winter, so google and chat gpt will hopefully be my friend!

RhiBi

Morning, the start of lighter evenings has been nice hasn’t it? I joined a new local running group last night. I used to do a lot of running years ago, but I hurt my leg in lockdown and never got back into it. A friend messaged me on the weekend asking if I wanted to go with her to a new group that was starting yesterday. My reply was “if it’s not raining!” Secretly I was hoping for rain. However, I went and I enjoyed. It was only 3K at a slow pace but it was good to get out again. I don’t think I’ll ever get back to the half marathon in 2 hours time of years back, but still, it got me out, it’s a chance to meet new people and to keep it MSE, it’s free!

I’ve got an appointment for an engineer to come to fit the water meter in 2 weeks. In the meantime, my bill has already been reduced from just under £70 a month to £41, so that’s a result in itself. I’m guessing the first few months will be trial and error. I am thinking of buying a water butt to collect rain water for the hopefully dry summer months.

I had a stressful time at work last week which meant I needed to phone 101 to report a threat (not towards me) so I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about continuing working with this person, so I need to talk talks with management today to see how this is going to work. I’m hoping that it can be done over teams. For today I’m working from home. Currently I’m in bed with my cuppa tea, my legs were aching when I got up to make it, so I can tell I definitely worked on that short run!

I’ve also started the book that was recommended y someone (sorry I forget who) on here ‘why does he do that’, it’s hard going, but also enlightening. I’m reading it in small chunks so that it doesn’t overwhelm me too much.

I also had my last session of talking therapy yesterday, I don’t always feel that I’ve moved forward much, but looking at the past 6 months, I can see that I have. There’s still a way to go, but it’s about looking forward, it might not be the future I thought it would be, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be a happy one.

ArtyJ931

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81943935#Comment_81943935

I am so glad you’ve got the book and hoping it will help in your recovery.

It might be worth contacting your local domestic violence support agencies to enquire about recovery courses they offer. They often have waiting lists so it’s worth joining one even if you are unsure. When a space becomes available you can then weigh it up.

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81944018#Comment_81944018

Thanks for that, because of the job I do, I could potentially be on a course with women I have worked with or could work with in the future. I have signed up to The Freedom Programme online though which I am working through.

RhiBi

I guess, because of my work, I knew the signs, I know the answers, yet I still let it happen. I need to understand why?!

ArtyJ931

I think the key thing there is that you 'let it happen' which shows you are still blaming yourself and hopefully using the book you can slowly remove the blame from yourself and putting it where it belongs - onto the perpetrator. They are skilled manipulators and they manipulate the very positive personal qualities which you naturally will obviously have - being caring, kind, supporting, empathetic, open, understanding. I would imagine that your job was used against you also in this scenario.

Be kind to yourself and in the future in your job you have a new level of understanding about how victims are manipulated by perpetrators xx

RhiBi

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81944060#Comment_81944060

You are exactly right there. When in the relationship, I made many attempts to make him see what he was doing, and ways to change. The reply I always got was “I’m not one of your cases” with a lot of expletives added in!

RhiBi

so my euphoria over the reduced water bill has been quashed by the council tax bill I’ve just received.

I applied for the single person discount in October last year and my bill reduced from £161 to £73 a month. Next years is £133 a month including the discount. I was expecting an increase, but didn’t expect that much!

ArtyJ931

they are nothing if not predictable these abusers!

weenancyinAmerica

I thought I read on some other threads that Councils were limited to raising bills by a certain percentage. Maybe you can check into it. There may be a thread on here that talks about it or you can go on a question thread and ask. The percentage they were talking about I thought was around 10% which would mean only raising it by 7 or 8 pounds.