NST February 2026 - You Are Enough

f0xh0les

Hugs Nancy, you are always safe here with your imaginary Turtles.

Maybe there is something in the water, or just normal Friday 13th vibes, either way, you don't deserve this level of nonsense. Glad you could escape into a book or five. Sometimes it is the only thing that keeps you sane.

The next full moon is not until 3rd, it is the Worm Moon, which nobody wants to even think about, worms on the moon, urgh!

grandmanerd

Hugs weenancy

I trashed my food budget target. The dopamine drop went into falling off a cliff and slowly realising I'd fallen in a well. I ordered (expensive) food - meal deals so I got the smallest quantities - a single drink and the smallest chocolate bar. Multi pack bars and drinks are cheaper but I would end up eating the lot and I intended getting right back to quitting after my lapse. I also ordered some things I've run out of - my favourite apples, 'butter' (mine was 'borrowed' ie disappeared), a small toast loaf and more baked potatoes and sandwich fillings because I have wraps left in the bread bin and there are more in the freezer.

My new plan is to write out a food order for Tuesday (free delivery) and think of as many simple easy healthy options (I've really enjoyed sweet potato falafels, 2 cut up apples with a small slice of cheese, baked potaoes, will get my favourite yoghurts to have with porridge oats).

I've tried to do things this week and I just seem to have made more mess. I have a list of things I was hoping to do so will try to work on them whilst adding in lots of fun. I'd love to go to Manchester for the Lunar Year celebrations but as I haven't been outside all week I think that's not realistic. I might enjoy watching a film and working my way through what is left in the salad drawer (then if I feel up to cooking I'll have ingredients ready to go). I know how to get myself out of this just have to relax into it and take the first steps (books, music, simple healthy food and lots of water, sit in the yard for sunshine etc)

Grateful for the book I'm reading (totally not something I would have chosen but very entertaining), for recognising the signs so I can take action (and money can be taken out of the impossible triangle of depression, trying to lose weight and being broke - I'm not rich but I have enough to buy healthy choices for a few weeks and it won't matter), determination (when I found my habit tracker in the old diary I was surprised that I'd done 6 days with no sodas and probably 10+ days without chocolate but had found other sweet and semi-sweet oddments). My second attempt will be longer.

grandmanerd

Saturday 14th February 2026

How Emotions Get Trapped In Your Body

Throat: When you don't speak your truth or suppress your emotions, the throat often carries that tension. You may experience tightness, sore throat or need to clear yor throat when speaking

Neck and Shoulders: Carrying the weight of the world? This is responsibility and stress from life, work or family usually settles

Chest/ Heart: Grief, heartache and deep sadness live here. Ever had a 'heavy heart', it's not just a metaphor.

(more later)

grandmanerd

Part 2

Stomach and Gut: Anxiety, fear and excessive worrying upset the digestive system. The gut even has it's own nervous system known as the second brain

Hips: this area holds trauma and fear, especially unprocessed emotional shocks from the past

Jaw: Clenching your jaw at night or grinding your teeth could mean you're holding in anger or words left unsaid

Lower back: Often associated with feelings of lack - financial instability, fear of failure or not feeling supported in life

Head: Overthinking, pressure to perform or mental stress lead to headaches or tension in the scalp

(sorry can't find the source to credit)

Shrewbie

Happy Sunday turtles. Hope everyone is well.

Totted up the totals and I went 20 euros over budget this week, but that's not too bad considering I was under budget the previous two. Managed to get out and socialise a bit this weekend and went on an interesting date last night.

The crescent moon was huge this morning outside my window against a pink sunrise. I spent the morning reading in bed, with the cat. Feeling very grateful for my life right now.

grandmanerd

A good first day. Subshine helped but I stayed in. I didn't put any pressure on myself but gathered up different categories of rubbish and recycling (more to do), loaded clothes into the WM (after asking at least 3 times for DS3 to move on their clothes - planned to do clothes Friday then found the machine full and set off on a cycle), moved pots and cutlery into the kitchen (planned to fill the DW and let the 'machines' do the work - found one single DW tablet -added to shopping list). I had soaked a couple of large bowls and added my cereal bowl to get rid of gubbins I don't want in the DW.

All food was from stores (mainly from the recent shopping binge) and most of the remainder is away in the fridge. I had finished the last of the boiled eggs so filled another panful to boil (not done yet - at least I'm reminded of the task every time I see the pan with the eggs in it). I brushed my teeth, had a shower and washed my hair - making myself get in the shower has been difficult all week. I had another go at a grooming task and put antiseptic cream on my big toe (may wrap a plaster round it to protect it whilst it heals). This is adding to my difficulties walking. Used a walking stick yesterday and managed to leave 2 at different places in the kitchen (more than once).

This all sounds very boring but lots of this is small signs I should have picked up on earlier. The stored tension post is interesting as I have some symptoms frequently and noticed the jaw clenching recently. I have identified a big issue (2 parts) that I need to vent on at some point but need to work through (possibly passive aggressively). At least I'm doing the first bit of some tasks which is better than nothing.

I have finally started to spend the 'house bonus' money, including the long awaited bedspread (silk/ velvet in a glorious peacock blue with quilting that looks like tiny stars). It was very expensive and I held back a day. The next day I had a 35% off offer so went for it (had to cancel the original basket and then put it back to access the offer). Yesterday I ordered 2 pairs of curtains (a subtler marine blue which will not dominate the room), 2 door curtain rails (the current curtains will move from the window to the doors) and more curtain rings. Today I'll go through the online charity sales for things I noticed but didn't get when I was looking for presents for other people (glasses cases and draft excluders). Several things were added to the charity bags. The t-shirt I wore yesterday will also go but will be washed first. One dress to be cut up for soft rags.

I've identified 2 'decluttering areas' to work on that won't mess up everywhere else (I hope). There are still lots of things I need to do including ones that will make my life easier/ simpler but trying not to stress and will get to them when I can. I did dust one item.

I finished the book and started a new one (I still have 3 of the 'read over Christmas' books as I was too ill to read them), watched a very good film (not done the veg chopping yet but did tackle the immediate chaos surrounding me). I did attempt to watch an historical saga (Vanessa Redgrave and Glenda Jackson as Mary Queen of Scots and Elizabeth I respectively) but it failed to load and wasn't on the list when I tried again later. I have stopped the 'not helping drinks' again - wanted them but recognised it was from boredom, not an actual craving. I also didn't order chips (giving myself a star for that one).

This is a thoroughly self-indulgent post but this is digging myself out of the pit and making progress. On a bad day, getting in the shower is an achievement. Any tiny progress needs noting. Baby steps, snail steps (glides?) but I'm not petrified, I'm taking action.

Grateful for the turtle gang, moving forward, good food and good entertainment.

beanielou

@grandmanerd You are a wee star. ⭐️

f0xh0les

Yesterday I went for a wander in the sunshine. It was a whole 3 degrees and the cars that were on the shaded side of the street kept the iceflowers on the bonnets all day. I went round the local charity shops but it was all overpriced for what it was so I bought my rye flour and my mushroom pate and came home. There is a local bakery, it is tiny, you can probably guess the name from that one, and there was a queue outside it over over 20 people on my way to the shopping street, and over 25 on the way home. It is just a bakery but the locals love it and it is lovely that it is so well frequented. I refuse to pay £3 for a flapjack, even if it is the size of my palm, when I have all the ingredients to make them in the pantry, so I don't often go in, but it always makes me smile that so many people obviously make it part of their weekend routine. Shop local folks! (if you are able), I am going to make a real effort not to be funding those multi-millionaire companies. It is now a year since DH decided to boycott the big river company. It was almost an addiction with him. He does not regret it but does whine constantly about delivery drivers who don't even bother knocking before running.

Made soup last night because it was freezing in the kitchen and I did not want to spend any more time in there than necessary. DH was up for a takeaway so nobody had to do kitchen duty. I was braver (= I am cheaper).

Today it is raining. Quelle surprise!…… nope. I am enjoying the 0lympics. I like the ski jumping (Ski Sunday anyone?) and the biathlon and the very strange team relay ice skating thing, and the long distance ski thing like the Penguin game, where the penguins climb up a hill, then slide down the other side, round a corner and have to climb up the hill again - whatever that on skis is called. It is an endurance sport, but then so was playing the Penguin game sometimes.

Lunch today was (homemade) hummus, and cheese, and (not) ham, and crackers, and rice cakes, and crumpets, and pickles, and the end of the bread and the last of last night's soup. The fridge is looking much tidier now. The bread bin is empty and all the crackers now fit in the cracker box. The pantry has been neatened. There is a dough rising in the fridge for baking later. Still not figured out the right time to be messing about with my sourdough for bread appearing at the 'right' time.

Had a really good idea about what DH can make for my FiL's birthday, he will be tickled pink! DH is very impressed by my idea, plus it gives him 8 weeks to do it. Bonus brownie points for me.

If you have rhubarb growing anywhere outside, put a bucket over it now to force some stems for eating. You're welcome! Eat local. If you don't have rhubarb growing, and you want some, ask around for someone with an allotment/healthy rhubarb plant! The gift that keeps on giving.

grandmanerd

Forgot that I'd ordered some ready meals. They are all protein rich, super healthy (no additives) and there was a half price offer which made them cheaper than SM ready meals. I am also going outside my comfort zone by picking things I've never tried and don't even know whose cuisine they are (Asian primarily). It will be an adventure.

The washing was done. Lots of crockery and cutlery was gathered. When DS3 came down to feed the chinchillas and make his own meal I asked him to carry my box of meals through. He did but when I went in the kitchen the DW was running and nearly all the pots were gone. There are a few oddments but they will be done easily (less than a bowlful). I was so happy I nearly cried.

I have been filling the fridge with bottles of tap water. I can't do lots but every time I run out of water I do a bottle for me and one for the fridge. More recycling gathered and I can see what's in the fridge. Not put an order in yet but have a running list. Working on my sore eyes and cracked lips

Grateful for relaxing, getting a few bits done, DS3's DW skills (I use it so rarely that I wonder if I've pressed the right buttons in the right order)

beanielou

@grandmanerd I find the dishwasher is so helpful. Even if I don’t empty it all at once at least the dishes are clean.
My pain levels are quite high today.