Need Help. Very stressed.

dmg24

Fat_Fairy wrote: »

In my first post I was actually giving a suggestion - because I have found that everyone must help themselves somewhat, fair or unfair.

As for comparing it to my husband being unable to use the stairs - umm, he is PHYSICALLY disabled so it's a bit different.

I usually do like to help others, really - it just irritates me that people won't help themselves even just a tiny bit. Nothing comes to you in this life. Like I say, that may not be fair, but it's true.

BTW my husband does get himself to the doctor and to benefit checks with my help, even though he walks on sticks and takes painkillers every 4 hours, every day, and now who is being nasty, dmg?.

I gave the example of your husband to try to get you to understand how your posts would affect LM, I doubt anybody was actually thinking that he should be capable.

Just to reiterate what others have said, all because a person's condition is mental and not physical, it does not make it any easier to deal with. Indeed, without wishing to enter into a debate on the subject, it is often easier to get diagnosis and treatment of physical conditons than MH conditions.

LM, if you need any help with your letter, feel free to ask. If, once you have composed the letter you want to email it over to me, I would be happy to print it out and put it in the post for you x

Edit: Wrote this half an hour ago, so it will probably be out of step with the other posts (I've been eating my dinner)!

Fat_Fairy

poet123 wrote: »

I sympathise with the OP as I have a sil with mental issues but I also worked for the DWP and it is important for the smooth running of the system that if you cannot make an appointment you should find someway of notifying them. The OP must be in contact with her fiance by phone or text or have someone who she could contact in case of emergency. That would have been the way forward.

An appointment would be given some time in advance giving ample time to sort something out. IMO it is not helpful for everyone to remove all responsibility from those with mental health problems,nor say they do not have to at least try to help themselves. if the OP is not capable of this I would question whether she should be living alone. Sorry iof this sounds harsh, but I do speak from first hand experience. My SIL hs regresssed to an almost child like state since MIL took over her life,every aspect is done for her,she has no worries or responsibilty and consequently expects to do nothing but eat,sleep and watch TV. All this was done from the best of motives but according to her GP it has been counter productive.

Agreed - and how do I know this - well, because I was once in that situation and I learnt to be completely incapable. Nowadays I'm glad that someone was harsh enough to give me a push, and here I am caring for others and running a home, and doing charity work to boot.

I do wish that other people, who tell me off for judging, might realise that I speak from experience :cool: .
I'm genuinely sorry that this has turned a bit nasty though.

seven-day-weekend

I will also be willing to post a letter for the OP - with a covering note to explain why it has come from Spain!

OP, when I said write a letter , I never even thought that someone with agoraphobia would not be able to post it. Sorry.

alison99_2

dmg24 wrote: »

Please keep your nasty comments to yourself. They are not welcome on a forum where we are trying to help people.

The words, pot, kettle and black spring to mind.

Now for my opinion, LM, you really need to get some support to help you with your day to day living. Have you got a MH nurse who visits you? If not them maybe your O/H can help you sort one out when he gets back. I think it's rather unfair of him to leave you so often and for so long with no other support.
I hope you get the help you need and feel free to PM me anytime if you want a chat.

Fleago

Hi Lady Morticia,

Reading your posts it seems to me that you are extremely isolated indeed and don't have any sort of professional support whatsoever at the moment. I was wondering if you've ever had a CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) allocated to you? Your situation is the sort of thing a CPN could have helped you with.

Even if you've never had a CPN or contact with a Mental Health Team, it might be worth you getting in touch with your GP and asking for a referral or a re-referral if you've previously had involvement.

I know it would be hard for you to contact your GP, but perhaps you could speak with your fiance and ask them to contact your GP surgery, expain the situation and how bad you are feeling, unable to go out etc, and ask if the GP could make a home visit to you.

Alternatively, if you do manage to get to your drop in centre, perhaps someone there could help you liaise with your GP to access further professional support.

I wish you all the best and hope you can get things sorted out.

Fleago

PS,

Alison and I have just posted the same thing at the same time.

Fat_Fairy

I also wanted to suggest this, some posts ago...........but there should definitely be a CPN involved, maybe an occupational therapist, too, - there are forms of support out there that the GP should know about.

I'm sorry I also assumed there was going to be a wedding - that's kind of what 'fiance' implies.........it also implies someone who can be there in some capacity. Like I say, I do feel for LM if she is so isolated that she can't get any help and is incapable of going out atall, I can't see how anyone can manage to live like that.

Inactive

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Even if I did write a letter, how would I post it?
I don't live near a letterbox and I suffer from agoraphobia so leaving the house is horrendous to me.
I don't see any friends or anything so I couldn't get anyone to post it for me.

It seems strange that you can get a letter posted after your benefits have been stopped, but not before.

You seem able to go to a call in centre, yet cannot go past the front door?

Sorry, it doesn't add up to me.

I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but it looks to me as if you need to get your priorities right.

Sometimes a reality check helps.

LadyMorticia

I must admit, some of the posts did upset me. I'm a very sensitive person.

My fiancee went to Ireland to visit family for a holiday, then he said that he was going to stay a little longer because his mum was ill. Now he says that he hates England and isn't coming back and that he does love me, he just hates England.

I used to have a CPN but she changed jobs and I was never allocated a new one. My mental health problems have worsened since I last applied for Income Support.
I have an eating disorder, agoraphobia and BPD. All together they make me a wreck.

I have tried emailing Income Support in the past but never received a response about anything. I have a phobia of the phone so find it hard to phone anyone, even people I know.
I don't have family around. They hurt me a lot. I don't really want to go into detail about that. I don't have friends who are physically there. I have what people would call "online" friends.

I'm try to go to my GP but whenever I make an appointment I get scared and start panicking. I'm not sure if it's ok to phone my GP and because of my phobia of the phone, it's difficult.

I'm not making excuses for myself but sometimes I can go weeks without seeing someone. When my fiancee was here, he used to make sure I ate (even though I really didn't want to). In all honesty, I can't look after myself and I know I can't but because of my phobias, I find it hard to get the help I need.

Thank you to everyone who has been helpful.
xx

LadyMorticia

Inactive wrote: »

It seems strange that you can get a letter posted after your benefits have been stopped, but not before.

You seem able to go to a call in centre, yet cannot go past the front door?

Sorry, it doesn't add up to me.

I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but it looks to me as if you need to get your priorities right.

Sometimes a reality check helps.

I said try. That's all I do. All I ever do is try, and you know what, I probably won't be able to make it because that's what always happens.

I came here for help because I know how helpful some people can be here but now I just give up. I didn't come here to be scrutinised and ridiculed and questioned. I came here with a genuine problem.

I'm sorry to have bothered you all.

xx

Inactive

LadyMorticia wrote: »

I came here for help because I know how helpful some people can be here but now I just give up. I didn't come here to be scrutinised and ridiculed and questioned.

I wasn't trying to ridicule, scrutinise or question you, I was stating facts, as I saw them.

Sorry if that wasn't helpful in your opinion, but if you sweep stuff under the carpet, they will never go away.