Need Help. Very stressed.

kelloggs36

Because it is always the wo is me type of attitude that makes this country so inadequate at the moment. THis person must have a neighbour or a member of the family to whom she can speak and get to post a letter on her behalf. Or send an e-mail - it isn't rocket science. She knows herself what her limitations are and should at least try and take some responsibility to prevent her circumstances from getting worse. She says that she worries that her money will be affected by telling them facts, well, sorry but so what? Tell the truth and if your money is affected it is because it is supposed to be!! Worrying about it doesn't make it okay to continue to claim what you are not entitled to - in fact that could be interpreted as a deliberate attempt to claim extra money because she had an inkling that it may be changed. She has a fiance and so he can act for her - she has access to a computer clearly as she wouldn't be on here complaining - put the computer to better use and do what you are supposed to do and stop moaning about it. You may be depressed but it doesn't stop you from doing some things - coming on here bemoaning the consequences of your actions is an example of that fact that you are quite capable of taking some responsibility. Sorry to be harsh, but you know exactly what you need to do - just making excuses not to do them.

Fat_Fairy

I wasn't be unkind in what I said - I look after someone who is chronically depressed, and have a child with Autism who is also prone to depression. I have also suffered myself, and I KNOW how hard things can be. I also KNOW that if someone is feeling well enough to apply for any kind of benefit, they are well enough to get a letter posted :rolleyes: . Keep stamps in the house, get the letter all ready, pass it to the postman when he calls and he will put it in the mail sack, it's that easy.

healy

LadyMorticia wrote: »

Long story short. I was meant to attend a medical interview but due to my mental health couldn't.

I received a letter asking why I hadn't attended. I phoned up and told them. The person I spoke to was very understanding and said she'd sort it out and arrange a home visit.

I received a letter today saying that they hadn't heard from me and that I am deemed eligible to work.

I have severe agoraphobia and BPD. I cannot go out the house, let alone hold down a job.

What are my rights on this?

This has made me so stressed.

xx

It sounds as though your benefit has been stopped now, but while you appeal you can claim reduced rate Income Support or Jobseekers Allowance at the full rate, this will not affect your appeal. As others have said you should have contacted them beforehand and said you would not be able to attend or got someone to do this for you as you would have been given at least 7 days notice of the medical and it would have said in the letter that non-attendance would lead to loss of benefit. I have read of one person who cancelled two medicals and it was only on the third when their benefit was stopped as they did not attend.

dmg24

Fat_Fairy wrote: »

I wasn't be unkind in what I said - I look after someone who is chronically depressed, and have a child with Autism who is also prone to depression. I have also suffered myself, and I KNOW how hard things can be. I also KNOW that if someone is feeling well enough to apply for any kind of benefit, they are well enough to get a letter posted :rolleyes: . Keep stamps in the house, get the letter all ready, pass it to the postman when he calls and he will put it in the mail sack, it's that easy.

You really do know nothing. Agoraphobia at its worst means you cannot even open the door, let alone have a quick chat with a neighbour, or the postman.

Everybody's circumstances are different. All because you/ your husband/ child are able to get to a postbox, not everyone is.

If you cannot post anything helpful to the OP, then don't post.

dmg24

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Because it is always the wo is me type of attitude that makes this country so inadequate at the moment. THis person must have a neighbour or a member of the family to whom she can speak and get to post a letter on her behalf. Or send an e-mail - it isn't rocket science. She knows herself what her limitations are and should at least try and take some responsibility to prevent her circumstances from getting worse. She says that she worries that her money will be affected by telling them facts, well, sorry but so what? Tell the truth and if your money is affected it is because it is supposed to be!! Worrying about it doesn't make it okay to continue to claim what you are not entitled to - in fact that could be interpreted as a deliberate attempt to claim extra money because she had an inkling that it may be changed. She has a fiance and so he can act for her - she has access to a computer clearly as she wouldn't be on here complaining - put the computer to better use and do what you are supposed to do and stop moaning about it. You may be depressed but it doesn't stop you from doing some things - coming on here bemoaning the consequences of your actions is an example of that fact that you are quite capable of taking some responsibility. Sorry to be harsh, but you know exactly what you need to do - just making excuses not to do them.

You really are horrible sometimes.

As I have said to Fat Fairy, mental health conditions affect everybody in different ways. Unless you have some ability to see into the mind of LM, then you know nothing about what they can or cannot do.

Not everyone has someone to help them. Some people with agoraphobia can go for weeks without seeing anyone. LM has said that her fiancee is not there. It is not for us to question why he is not helping.

Perhaps you should have some concern for the OP, not make such nasty sweeping statements.

jules_2

Hi LM
I am going through the very same thing myself - The illness I mean.
I had a letter through on Christmas Eve to say I had to attend a medical.
I know exactly how you feel and I rang them to say I could not attend and could I have a home visit,
They were very unhelpful but eventually said get you GP to write to us in the next 3 days to say why you cannot attend - they would not cancel or change my appointment to give me more time to get the doctor to do this - even though it was over the christmas / new year. I phoned my doctor and thankfully he agreed to do it. am now about to have a home visit medical.
Do you think you could in some way get in touch with your GP ( I know that is easier said than done) and get them to help you in this situation?
I really hope this sorts itself out for you asap.
Feeling for you - PM any time hon xx

Fat_Fairy

dmg24 wrote: »

You really do know nothing. Agoraphobia at its worst means you cannot even open the door, let alone have a quick chat with a neighbour, or the postman.

Everybody's circumstances are different. All because you/ your husband/ child are able to get to a postbox, not everyone is.

If you cannot post anything helpful to the OP, then don't post.

Nope, I know nothing :rolleyes: . I wonder how she's going to manage her wedding to aforementioned fiance.............................

kelloggs36

And Jules has just proven that it IS possible to sort it out without recourse to waiting until the benefit has stopped by calling in advance, or perhaps sending a message in some way to somebody who can sort it. It is funny how now that the benefit has stopped, the OP is now able to do something - even complaining! Don't complain, do what you need to do to get it sorted - contact your fiance or something - by text or e-mail, that way your agrophobia won't get in the way. I'm not suggesting that any of the conditions the OP has is not debilitating, but the problems are not insurmountable with some thought.

dmg24

Fat_Fairy wrote: »

Nope, I know nothing :rolleyes: . I wonder how she's going to manage her wedding to aforementioned fiance.............................

That is just outright nasty.

When you posted about your husband, how would you have felt if people had said he should just find a way up the stairs? After all, if they can do it, why shouldn't he be able to? No one said it because most people have more manners than to say such a thing.

Please keep your nasty comments to yourself. They are not welcome on a forum where we are trying to help people.

dmg24

kelloggs36 wrote: »

And Jules has just proven that it IS possible to sort it out without recourse to waiting until the benefit has stopped by calling in advance, or perhaps sending a message in some way to somebody who can sort it. It is funny how now that the benefit has stopped, the OP is now able to do something - even complaining! Don't complain, do what you need to do to get it sorted - contact your fiance or something - by text or e-mail, that way your agrophobia won't get in the way. I'm not suggesting that any of the conditions the OP has is not debilitating, but the problems are not insurmountable with some thought.

A much more diplomatic way of saying what you thought, and much more encouraging words to the OP! Thank you x