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Steadily climbing the mountain, enjoying the view along the way

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  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 101,176 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Mortgage-free Glee!

    PS. No one has legs like mine. Truly the stuff of nightmares.

    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.

    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** in ~~Japanese proverb.
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  • f0xh0les
    f0xh0les Posts: 7,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Mortgage-free Glee! Photogenic

    Kick the can. You are so wonderfully popular and good at your job, and have family commitments, and travelling, and on a spiritual retreat, that is is amazing how often you are not available for 'duty calls' to hypocritical w@@£@#s who no doubt want to sign you up for something.

    Really you are doing her a kindness, cos she wouldn't like it if you told her what you really think of her. She's not made of chocolate, whatever she's convinced herself she is.

    4/10/25Three Years Mortgage Free Yay!
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  • greenbee
    greenbee Posts: 19,706 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic

    While it would be lovely to tell her what you really think, she sounds like the type to use it against you, so don't. Ignore it for a bit, and if she chases 'terribly sorry, I meant to reply but I'm incredibly busy at the moment and it's all a bit hectic and stressful' which doesn't actually answer the question and gives you an opening to ignore further messages so puts off the putting off for a bit longer…

  • Brie
    Brie Posts: 17,701 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper

    Agree with kicking the can. She won't improve if you have a go at her as you would obviously be wrong while she is always right. Maybe have a word with the minister if she is a problem and he might find a way to chastise her while leaving you out of it. As in "I don't know what PC has said to people but Spaniel is a very nice person. Has someone been telling porkies about her?"

    p.s. when you were describing the situation and said Spaniel had moved in with her husband I initially thought that Spaniel had moved in with DC's hubby!!

    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe, Old Style Money Saving and Pensions boards.  If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.

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  • daisy_1571
    daisy_1571 Posts: 3,280 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    Some great ideas there, seconding them all

    Dxx

    22: 3🏅 4⭐ 23: 5🏅 6 ⭐ 24 1🏅 2⭐ 25 🏅 🥈2⭐ 26 🥈 Never save something for a special occasion. Every day is a special occasion. The diff between what you were yesterday and what you'll be tomorrow is what you do today Well organised clutter is still clutter - Joshua Becker If youre not already using a thing you won't start using it more by shoving it in a cupboard- AJMoney The barrier standing between you & what youre truly capable of isnt lack of info, ideas or techniques. The secret is 'do it'
  • PennysIntoPounds
    PennysIntoPounds Posts: 7,286 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Third Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper

    Just to stick my tuppence worth in, I think it depends on what feels in your soul most right for you. Imagine actually doing all these things and see which one feels most right, your heart and gut will physically tell you.

    I would be tempted to go for the coffee and say something (gently) along the lines of 'May I be frank with you as you always have been with me, I disagree with what seem to be your feelings towards Spaniel Neighbour and I feel sad that you feel that way and that the Minister also seems so share those views. Obviously not everyone is everyone's cup of tea and that's fair enough, but from my experience Spaniel Neighbour is a decent person who is trying to contribute to our lovely community, are there any ways we as a parish could be kinder and help resolve this?'

    But while it is sad and stressy, it is not your responsibility to resolve it so do what will least bug you, everyone involved is an adult who doesn't need safeguarding so if your peace is not engaging then that is also a completely fine choice.

    But also it is really sh*tty of the minister to be behaving like this and that is something that would really rankle with me. Really like @Brie's suggestion that Spaniel Neighbour could maybe be casually defended to minister

  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 101,176 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Mortgage-free Glee!

    I hope you never ever see my awful garden. The end.

    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.

    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** in ~~Japanese proverb.
    ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger.
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan. 13 months left.
  • ladybird1106
    ladybird1106 Posts: 1,416 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Second Anniversary Photogenic Name Dropper

    Parsley is the one plant I’m trying to crack this year. Never been very successful. My Italian neighbours have gave me lots of helpful advice🤞.
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  • SandyShores
    SandyShores Posts: 2,127 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper

    Agree with beanielou. I subscribe to Mel Robbins 'Let them theory', followed up by 'Let me'.

    "Think of many things, do one"
    DFW 2019: MFW now: end Sep £166k £310k 2020 (MFW end 2038 to 2031)
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