2026: time to face facts and plan for the hard times ahead

MayDogsandCoffee

I don't think your debt is all your own doing, your OH seems to spend without consequence.  Maybe time to stop subbing.

Blackcats

MissMoneyMishap said:

I'm not a fan of your ex other half, just saying for the record

I'm the same as MissMoneyMishap.  

I think you should use the scrap metal money to pay for the boys' haircuts.  That way it's benefitting the children and not divided £10 to you and £60 to your ex.  Use the remaining money to buy a hair cutter/trimmer so you can save on future haircut costs.  A small but fair win.

MissMoneyMishap

MayDogsandCoffee said:

I don't think your debt is all your own doing, your OH seems to spend without consequence.  Maybe time to stop subbing.

Agree! 100%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

MissMoneyMishap

Blackcats said:

MissMoneyMishap said:

I'm not a fan of your ex other half, just saying for the record

I'm the same as MissMoneyMishap.  

I think you should use the scrap metal money to pay for the boys' haircuts.  That way it's benefitting the children and not divided £10 to you and £60 to your ex.  Use the remaining money to buy a hair cutter/trimmer so you can save on future haircut costs.  A small but fair win.

100% agree with this too! "I'm really struggling with cashflow, so I'm using that money for the scrap for the boys haircuts." 

katsu

Rea the sofa sleeping... can you put a second bed in the bedroom and share the room? Just a single. 

Or if you still sleep in the front room,  can you go do cleaning in the kitchen etc instead of waiting in the room in the evening? Less stressful. 

SpireCaptain

katsu said:

Rea the sofa sleeping... can you put a second bed in the bedroom and share the room? Just a single. 

Or if you still sleep in the front room,  can you go do cleaning in the kitchen etc instead of waiting in the room in the evening? Less stressful. 

Morning Katsu, thank you for your reply. I do try and and make myself scarce either washing up/tidying going to Aldi or sitting in boys room til it's their bedtime. OH was in bed from 7 again last night. So I had front room to myself.

We've got a king size with storage underneath so she wouldn't want to swap for 2 singles as one of the cats sleeps with her. Plus I first came downstairs due to snoring.

Last night I tried to sleep the other way round on sofa as I feel the angle the cushions are at is affecting the.my right hip but if anything it made it feel worse so swapped round to the other end. It's like sleeping in a hammock quite comfy but only one way to sleep lol.

DS1 asked if was going to sleep on the chair bed we've got from their friends but I said I better not. 

SpireCaptain

MissMoneyMishap said:

Blackcats said:

MissMoneyMishap said:

I'm not a fan of your ex other half, just saying for the record

I'm the same as MissMoneyMishap.  

I think you should use the scrap metal money to pay for the boys' haircuts.  That way it's benefitting the children and not divided £10 to you and £60 to your ex.  Use the remaining money to buy a hair cutter/trimmer so you can save on future haircut costs.  A small but fair win.

100% agree with this too! "I'm really struggling with cashflow, so I'm using that money for the scrap for the boys haircuts." 

Yes you do make such a valid point. Plus she had £17 of wine from me and didn't offer me any money. She's not mentioned it yet and I didn't take them for a haircut as was getting the van. Tonight won't be able to as it's cricket nets so maybe tomorrow.

School dinners are in £36 arrears in total so need to pay with the £90 Barclaycard that's cleared today. 

joedenise

Does your ex OH actually spend any money on the boys?  It seems you do all the spending on them while she just spends on herself.

Can she not pay the school dinner arrears for example?  Doesn't seem fair that you need to use your CC to pay it off.

SpireCaptain

Hoping for a no spend day today. Although saying that for some reason the electric to my filtration system kept cutting out last night when filling the van so although I have the van back, there's no pure water. 

Luckily there's a pure water filling station in the next town so can fill up. It's 4.5p a litre and I'll need at least 500 litres for a days window cleaning so approx £30 to go on a credit card that I've paid already this month. 

Can work til 4.15pm when I'll pick DS1 from multi skills sports club after school. 

SpireCaptain

MayDogsandCoffee said:

I don't think your debt is all your own doing, your OH seems to spend without consequence.  Maybe time to stop subbing.

Yes I think you're right, need to be more forthright in just buying essentials for the house and the boys.