2026: time to face facts and plan for the hard times ahead

SpireCaptain

Hello everyone,

I've been a long time lurker under a different alias but have now created a new moniker to be a bit more vague about name and area of UK as starting this journey and will be posting for my own sanity and all your support I've seen so much across the years. 

I'm in a deep pile of debt that I've been servicing for the past couple of years but has steadily grown since 2016. 2026 is the year when 0% deals end and minimum payments nearly triple by December so something has to happen. 

On top of that my relationship of 18 years is ending. I'm 38 and OH is 52. The best part of my adult life, financial life etc has been with the same person. We have 3 beautiful boys, a 10 year old and 9 year old twins but OH checked out of the relationship years ago 2017 I would say.  I've spent the past18 months on the sofa initially for my back ache on the mattress and her hot flashes in perimenopause but now it's just the norm and the boys accept it. 

Financially I had a sole mortgage 2012-2016 whilst she finished a CCJ. Then with inheritance she gained we got a joint mortgage, moved from a 3 bed semi to 4 bed detached in a neighbouring town at her behest. January 2020 we were back in the original village at her behest, and with an extra £50k mortgage to renovate the house we moved into.

COVID struck, my dad passed away. 2015 I had 3k of debt. 2020 somehow we managed to port the mortgage with £27k of debt and now it stands at £56k approx. 

I will upload my SOA tomorrow after transferring it from the citizens advice meeting I had a couple of weeks ago. 

I pay mortgage, utilities, essential bill, insurance, food and boys activities. I'm self employed. I'm not sure what OH spends her money on. When I told my sister she was aghast that she doesn't share any of the bills but I said it's been like that since 2012 when we stopped renting. 

Just in a pickle really. We need to sell the house but it needs work doing that we should've done in 2020-21 when prices were low but one thing after another and 5 years later we've finally replaced 2 windows and new cladding on the back. 

OH is applying for 3 bed social housing but not near the top of the list. She works 3.5 days a week and might get a mortgage but social housing may be her only choice on the new build estate in the village.

My predicament is if I default on CCs, I'll have proceeds of sale from the house but no chance of mortgage for 6 years so will need to find somewhere to rent. I would offer a years rent up front. But if defaults aren't issued for 6-18 months after stopping payments do I risk stopping payments for a while in June and see if house sells before defaults register. 

Or shall I try and muddle through this year til house is sold and pay debts but then may only have £40k for a deposit on a house but credit report not trashed. 

I'll give more details tomorrow. Just wanted to get a post on the board and say hi. I've already got Starling personal and business accounts open. A Halifax current account with Halifax mortgage. But most of my 20 years banking has been with Barclays with 2 business accounts, stocks and shares ISA, bounce back loan and 2 currents accounts and 2 Barclaycards. A bit of a Barclays Fanboy. Not looking forward to losing all that but needs must. Will have to pass on new bank details to 400 customers as well. 

The meeting with CA didn't really help as it's dependent on house sale. And advisor didn't really understand the 6 year drop off of defaults I was talking about with F&F offers. She just mentioned 19 years to stay in a DMP with my £220 spare every month and trashed file for all those years. 

If you've read this far thank you, hopefully with this forums support I'll come through this in a few years time with more enjoyment of life and my boys. As have been walking round in constant anxiety for as long as I remember. 

SpireCaptain

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 3

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 2050

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2050[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 860

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 174

Electricity............................. 70

Gas..................................... 70

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 65

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 16

TV Licence.............................. 0

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 62

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 130

Clothing................................ 20

Petrol/diesel........................... 80

Road tax................................ 32

Car Insurance........................... 30

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 100

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 20

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0

Buildings insurance..................... 10

Contents insurance...................... 6

Life assurance ......................... 13

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50

Haircuts................................ 15

Entertainment........................... 20

Holiday................................. 20

Emergency fund.......................... 20[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1913[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 400000

Shares and bonds........................ 250

Car(s).................................. 3000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 403250[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 188000...(860)......4[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 188000....-.........- [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Tesco CC.......................13730.....141.......24.94

PayPal ........................900.......80........23.9

Lloyds.........................2300......60........18.65

Bounce Back Loan...............5000......109.......2.5

Barclaycard 2..................11434.....145.......23.1

Barclaycard 1..................8397......85........29.3

MBNA 2.........................600.......60........17.94

MBNA 1.........................16297.....270.......29.62

NewDay Pulse...................4454......64.78.....25.72[b]

Total unsecured debts..........63112.....1014.78...- [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,050

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,913

Available for debt repayments........... 137

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,014.78[b]

Amount short for making debt repayments. -877.78[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 403,250

Total HP & Secured debt................. -188,000

Total Unsecured debt.................... -63,112[b]

Net Assets.............................. 152,138[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

SpireCaptain

A few things to clarify on the SOA. (These are figures I worked through with a Citizen's Advice advisor before Christmas)

The minimum payments on the CC are for the promotional balances as they are now. These will gradually fall off this year I til October when the debt repayments on the current balances would double to £1600 approx. 

My ex/partner owns 2 cars but I pay the road tax for them. She pays the insurance for them. 
She also pays the TV licence. 

The mortgage payment is for the property we jointly own together and a buy to let property that's on an interest only mortgage currently. 

Home address mortgage is £580
Rental Mortgage is £280 on a rental income of £500

I've included the money from rental income in the income. That income is my income after business expenses and tax have been accounted. I'm self employed and bad weather/van issues can affect my earnings. 

The £3000 vehicle is my work vehicle. 

SpireCaptain

My ex said she could afford to pay the bills in the house when she claims UC etc but we would have a legal document drawn up whereby she would stay in the house til our youngest sons are 18. So that they maintain continuity and less disruption and my stake in the house is maintained. 

However she's re run the maths and she's unsure she could afford the utilities in a 4 bed detached. So currently the plan is still to sell as soon as practicable. 

I would just like to know if any self employed people have gone onto a self managed DMP and how it's worked for them.

If stop all payments and build an emergency fund whilst still living in this property perhaps defaults might appear within a year so 6 years of renting a place with my Mum as guarantor and then look to get mortgage after 6 years. 

Or sell the rental property to release £30-37,000 equity to reduce debts. I'm loathe to as the tenant has been in since 2015 with family opposite. Ideally I'd sell to them but not sure if her finances.

I'm sorry for rambling my head is just bamboozled what to do. Bite the bullet and DMP. 

I don't think I can manage more than 6 months this year as Tesco repayments jump to £490 next month.


I have bounce back loan, 2 business accounts and 2 personal accounts with Barclays. Plus the barclaycards and the Tesco is now owned by Barclays. 

SpireCaptain

Current card balances, interest rates and payments.

PayPal 23.9%

£1000 Limit

£850 Balance

£80 per month (£36 minimum)

Pulse 25.72%

£6000 Limit

£4395 Balance

0% until 20/03/2026

£80 per month then £140

Lloyds 18.65%

£2500 limit

£2300 Balance

£80 per month

Tesco 24.94%

£15000 Limit

£13280 Balance

£390 

(was 0% for 13.months just finished paying £150 a month)

Barclaycard 29.3%

£9000 Limit

£8314 Balance 

0% until 01/09/2026

£90 per month then £241

Barclaycard 23.1%

£13000 Limit

£11903 Balance

0% until 01/07/2026

£150 per month then £300

MBNA 29.62%

£18000 Limit

£16328 Balance

6.9% until 01/11/2026

£270 per month then £503

MBNA 17.94%

£10000 Limit

£600 Balance 

£50 per month

1stTimer

Hello SpireCaptain

I am so sorry you are going through this but you are in the right place.

Unfortunately I am not best placed to answer your questions and you may get a response to those on the debt free wannabe board but please keep posting your diary here, I will be following and wishing you luck on your journey :-) 

SpireCaptain

1stTimer said:

Hello SpireCaptain

I am so sorry you are going through this but you are in the right place.

Unfortunately I am not best placed to answer your questions and you may get a response to those on the debt free wannabe board but please keep posting your diary here, I will be following and wishing you luck on your journey :-) 

Hello 1stTimer

Thank you for your reply. I didn't know where to post to start with but after I started here I realised I could start a thread on DFW board and have had a few replies already. 

I find these diaries are interesting and inspiring to read. They're what gave me the confidence to write down my thoughts and worries. I like to see how people are coping and dealing with things as they crop up. Some go silent for a few years but pop along still in DMP but living more happily and within their budgets. Or discharged from bankruptcy and life is usually better. 

I will follow your story, I hope you are dealing with any money worries and the forum is a great resource. 

If my 18 year relationship was in a good place I'd fix the mortgage for 10 years and enter DMP in a heartbeat. But as the debt has strained the relationship (my mental health is in bits with the constant stress cloying up my day to day demeanor, and my partner is on medication and counselling for depression) that DMP isn't an option yet til my housing situation can be figured out. 

I feel if I rent for the foreseeable I could hold onto some or most of the deposit from the sale of this house and in 6 years time get back on the housing ladder. Even if it's part buy part rent. 

Blackcats

Hello - welcome and a big well done for posting.

this is a friendly, helpful, supportive and absolutely non judgemental place.  Try to post regularly to keep you motivated and feeling supported.

you have a few credit cards currently with 0% interest and I wonder if, just for now you put them to one side and look at the ones where you are paying the high interest rates.  If it were me, I'd chose to throw everything I could at the PayPal card - it will feel great to have one less card to juggle and you can move the monthly amount you pay from that card to your next priority.  This is what I would do but others will have different, equally valid points of view.

@Scott_Weiland_2  has great suggestions for bringing in extra £'s and I wonder if you might be able to sell some things and throw any extra money at the PayPal card.

I found focussing on one card and making myself a chart where I coloured in a square for every 1% you payoff. £8.50 sized chunks might seem more achievable than a £850 sized lump.  Pay the money off as often as possible rather than wait for payment due date.  The interest will reduce a little bit each time you make a payment.

Good luck!

SpireCaptain

Blackcats said:

Hello - welcome and a big well done for posting.

this is a friendly, helpful, supportive and absolutely non judgemental place.  Try to post regularly to keep you motivated and feeling supported.

you have a few credit cards currently with 0% interest and I wonder if, just for now you put them to one side and look at the ones where you are paying the high interest rates.  If it were me, I'd chose to throw everything I could at the PayPal card - it will feel great to have one less card to juggle and you can move the monthly amount you pay from that card to your next priority.  This is what I would do but others will have different, equally valid points of view.

@Scott_Weiland_2  has great suggestions for bringing in extra £'s and I wonder if you might be able to sell some things and throw any extra money at the PayPal card.

I found focussing on one card and making myself a chart where I coloured in a square for every 1% you payoff. £8.50 sized chunks might seem more achievable than a £850 sized lump.  Pay the money off as often as possible rather than wait for payment due date.  The interest will reduce a little bit each time you make a payment.

Good luck!

Hi Blackcats,

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and taking the time to message. This always has seemed the friendliest and most nonjudgmental forum that I've frequented over the years. It seems there's no agenda and people have been there, done that and got the t-shirt many times over. 

I've played the 0% juggling act for about 8 years now but feel like I've run out of moves. Shifting the bulk of Tesco onto mbna until Tesco offers another 0% deal was the last chance but I don't think they'll let me as all offers have disappeared from MBNA app. 

I'd love to clear PayPal as it would be a nice win but whatever I pay off I tend to use for fuel for the work van. The minimum is £36 so I could just reduced to £40 and pay fuel with debit card but that just gives me anxiety.

 Same when I go to Aldi and have to decide what card to use on the Curve App to pay with depending on when I've paid that month. Walked round Aldi in a daze crying and having a panic attack before Christmas and rang 111 who were really good out of hours mental health triage. Just talking to someone really helped. My anxiety mounts every time I walk through the door and only eases when my partner is in bed or at work and I'm down sleeping on the sofa or with the boys out somewhere. It's affecting my work motivation, I feel helpless against this tide of debt and sometimes park van in a layby unable to focus or work. The headaches are intense and panic sets in.

Just couldn't deal with this debt and relationship much longer. I've told my sister but didn't want to tell Mum about end of relationship as it was her birthday in November and then Christmas. I need to tell her properly. I told her 2 years ago partner wanted to end it Nd Mum was going to help look at houses with me but we sort of patched things together for 6 months til we couldn't any longer. I think Mum has an inkling what's on the cards.

I've had a disheartening day today as the work van that broke down on NYE, couldn't be fixed at my house with the £24 part I bought. It's got to go into the garage for a full clutch on Friday and might not be ready til Monday. I've not been able to work at all this week. Some clients have paid me for previous work but that totals £150. The clutch will probably be £350 I'd imagine at least and the garage I use only takes cash so I'm scuppered. 

Last year it was a turbo for the van that cost £1500 in cash and I had to hire a van on credit card to carry on working for 2 weeks. 

Then today my accountant says I'm ready for the paperwork for tax return so that's more money at the end of the month. I maybe able to pay tax spread out over the year like I did 1 years ago but teh accountant only takes BACS not card so that's £130 to find. I can still use one more 6 months interest only payment on the bounce back loan scheme which will free up £90 a month. 

The twins have a school trip to pay by end of January so £166 X2. My Mum who lives 120 miles away has said she'd pay for that but I can pay that on credit card and use her cash for the van clutch. 

Only shining light today was playing a new board game the eldest son got for Christmas called Hues and Clues. Happy to take my mind off for 30 mins. 

Working_Mum

Hello SpireCaptain,
I felt compelled to post as I can feel the desperation you are feeling through your posts.

You are not alone and a lot of people on this Forum will have walked in your shoes and will support you.

I think you have more choices than you think - some of them may be a bit uncomfortable for you to consider at the moment but I think you need to get into a space where you can consider all of your options safely and clearly.

What are you doing to help with your mental health?? You have been living with the stress of your situation for a very long time now and are overwhelmed. There may be free therapy you can access which will help you navigate the coming months and years.

Can you give some thought to some long term goals which you can work towards. Top of your list I think will be staying connected to your children, You are already doing this in a very real way and it is apparent the  joy they bring you. Once you have some goals in place you can start to benchmark any actions you are about to take against these goals - ask yourself is what I am about to do going to take me towards my goals or away from them??

You have an option to start a new life by moving into your rental property. This may sound harsh but you should prioritise YOU at this point as you are no good to anyone if you can't work because you're not rested properly. I'd give very serious thought to giving your tenants notice and moving in there yourself - yes there will be some extra miles to cover to see you kids and there will be some changes you'd need to make to your mortgage BUT it would give you a clear space which is yours for you to be able to think clearly, heal from the breakdown of your relationship and start a new life - it'll also give you ex a chance to see whether she can afford to stay where she is and then make some decisions about what her options are. This may then mean you have a clear way ahead about selling the current family home and can plan accordingly.

As far as getting your van sorted is concerned - can you take it to a different garage which DOES take cards?? This may be quicker route for you.

I want through a nasty nasty break up and divorce from 2009 with 2 kids, big mortgage, small / variable self employed income and an ex who didn't pay his way for many years. It was super super hard but my goals were:-
1. keep my kids in their home
2. keep my kids connected to their extended family
3. pay off my debts
4. be mortgage free (took me 11 years but I did it!!)
5. not be angry or bitter towards my ex
6. grow through the challenge and be a better person
7. behave with kindness and integrity at all times (but don't be a pushover)

You are clearly a kind and loving Dad SpireCaptain and you still young enough to build a fabulous life for you and your kids - you've simply got a couple of big decisions to make now which will unlock your future. What I feel is that your current living situations feel unsustainable for you and you deserve so much more.

Keep posting and I feel sure you'll find a way ahead.

Big hugs,

((WM))

Blackcats

What @Working_Mum says!  And her 7 goals are amazing.

i hope you find a time and a way to talk with your mum.