Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

debtfreewannabe321

Doing my budget this evening and trying to figure out how much I have to pay into places over 11 months now as Jan was a bust for anything other than just survival 🫣 I long for the day I sail through January's....
Anyway brain is like mush so couldn't concentrate much but tried to lump all yearly bills together including cars - insurance and tax and MOT etc and paid a small lump sum into savings. 
I contemplated using a snowball method for saving 🤔 thinking I could full load the EF first, then yearly savings account, and then move on to things like DIY and Christmas/ birthday fund because most of the birthdays in our little family are July-Nov. My one is next month but I never budget for that and besides we are going to Paris for half term so that's my treat 😃. So yeh. I'll give the snowball method a bit more thought. I just felt it might feel like I get somewhere quicker. And I could always borrow from EF if money is needed elsewhere and it's not yet ready? 🤔 Or is sticking to paying small amounts across each better. I dunno am too tired to think more. Off to read for a bit then meditate and sleep. Alarm is going on for 7 rather than 6:30 as starting a bit later tomorrow 😁!

debtfreewannabe321

Evening all,

Been a very busy day I should have had a bit of a lie in this morning but didn't sleep great last night 😴 as a result woke up exhausted.

Work was interesting as I was Shadowing today (well for half the day) so trying to take in lots of info at the same time as appearing to not do very much in meeting after meeting (5 in all.😳). I got to chat to the colleague I'll be working with the most today though and we actually had a lot in common outside of work. We popped to a cafe during meetings as were out and about which was nice. And I did think this doesn't feel half as bad as the work I've had to do over the last year or two. I think my colleague alienated herself from the noise of the main office a lot because of how little they've had in common and how exhausting it is to continually pretend to fit in 🫣🤣. I thought back to my thoughts last week that I do mask a lot at work to fit in and thought her way of just not going in to the office very much was probably the way forward to conserve my energy…she also said not to have / warned me of, the other lady in the office bossing me about and giving me her workload as this happened to the last two that had my position (and lasted three months!)...this has already happened a fair bit to me 🫣 and me being new I'm just doing as I'm told because I don't really know what's I can and can't say no to. I have more of an idea now of where I can go to work quietly, that I can dictate my own hours to suit the meetings/ classes I need to attend and around that I can start and finish when I want so long as my hours are done. This has made me feel a bit happier. She also didn't think the other new lady would last very long, and to think she was the best applicant out of all the applications and interviews (aside from me) is a bit worrying 🙈. I am obviously hoping the new lady will be okay this week and that last week was just nerves. I may suggest we go and work elsewhere together, perhaps somewhere quieter so we can chat and I can help her with anything (well I mean I'm only one step ahead at the moment but sometimes that's all it takes).

I really wish I could sort my low energy out though it's really not helping...I am absolutely shattered. Last night I went to bed at 9 and still didn't catch up.

DP is home this evening and I'm glad. I hope it's the last time he's away for a while now as I'm finding it hard to do all the housework, cooking, shopping as well as work. And I think I sleep better when he's here 💖. Okay I'm off to get hair washed, DW on, tidy up and see if I can stay awake long enough to collect DP at 10:30 - I said to him if I am not answering my phone I'm asleep, get a cab 🙈😆.

debtfreewannabe321

Hey all,

Hope everyone is well. I had two hours proper sleep last night, confirmed by F1tbit. My brain was agog with new information and I felt total overwhelm at the moment I should have been processing the days events and putting them to bed (nothing bad happened just A LOT happened). As a result of brain being on fire 🔥 I picked DP up at 10:30pm (ISH was probably after that actually). I've struggled through the day and had a meeting after work that I didn't think I'd have to attend - I was the only non tutor in there 🤔 so not completely convinced I should have gone but did as boss instructed. I knew everyone including the guy who was delivering it, so all good in that respect but I was knackered 🙈. So anyway I'm quietly logging the hours I'm doing so I can hopefully make an early escape on Friday.

The new lady was in again today, she was a little more chatty but I don't think she really wants the job 🤔 just a nagging intuition I have. She was distracted all day and when set a task didn't do it properly - but tried to make it look like it was done. There were 6 A4 side of paper with questions for the students on to do their progress review and she did the top page for all so it looked, on first glance, to be done. She had shadowed me in the first one of the day so she knew there were 6 pages of it. She slunk off early again at 2:30 after arriving at 8:30 and when she left I was asked to go through her ones and mine to pull out certain info.... well mine were done and hers were empty 🙈 I feel quite annoyed and anxious and overwhelmed with the fact she didn't do it but has sat there ALL day watching me work my butt off. I'm still learning too so I can't take her work on, and nor should I be expected to. She admitted to me she wanted extra days and I thought oo I could reduce by one and she could take it. So I said, what here? (Ever the hopeful) No, she said, laughing, no, somewhere else I work. I don't want to be here at all...... I spoke to my manager, and not sorry to be a grass, I was a grass. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm not doing someone else's work when they don't even want to be there. Not whilst they're sat there scrolling on their phone. No way.

I think they have already sussed she lied her way into the job although I'm not sure they know what game she's playing. I'm not sure but if I were to hazard a guess it will be, do bare minimum, show up enough to not get sacked, when someone challenges it, go off with mental health issues due to bullying. Seen it twice already in one year.....and it seems to be part of a playbook no one gave me 🤣.

💖Anyway, good things of the day 💖, DP was paid slightly more than we thought, he had cooked dinner when I got home, he listened to my ranting 🤣🙈🙈🙈 and is tidying the kitchen whilst I have a bath. And have another rant on here whilst listening to healing hz 🤣🤣🤣. I'm so tired I should sleep tonight. And my diet has been clean so far today - but I'm not going to beat myself up if I go downstairs and get some crisps 🤣...I am meditating a lot and feeling better for it and I'm hoping that when I have settled into new job, weaned successfully off hrt (look at that for manifesting - saying it likes it is done!) I think my eating habits can be looked at again and gym upped again and try to lose a bit of weight. My steps have upped naturally in this job and most days I'm hitting between 6-8k and a few over 10k. So getting exercise in anyway.

Right time for a bit of Miss Marple and a snuggle with DP, we both collapsed from exhaustion yesterday (him straight off to sleep me too but awoke shortly after with brain going mad)!

debtfreewannabe321

Ah 😇 I've had a much better night sleep after giving in at 9pm. And deciding to go in a bit later and stay later. I think 8:30 is a much more civilised time to go into work 🤣 so I've had a chance to sit and actually drink a tea this morning whilst it's hot. Although the milk had turned 😳 and I hadn't realised till it was gone. Hope my tummy doesn't pay for that now.

I'm treating myself to lunch at work so I don't need to do that either as I didn't prepare it last night. I'll also bring breakfast in with me so I can eat there slowly rather than rushing it down me. I think little tweaks like this are needed and necessary to stop me flighting off 🤣.

It is still only Thursday how is this possible 😬...roll on Fri afternoon.

KajiKita

I always eat breakfast in work, so my calorie consumption window is shorter (like you, I technically break my fast with a cuppa in the morning though).

When I had a long commute and an early start, that meant getting up at 5.30am. That was so hard in the winter … I wanted to move my bedtime earlier but Hubby staying up later disturbed me so I was permanently sleep deprived. I did ask him to go to bed earlier but he didn't like it, so wouldn't. Another good reason for leaving that job behind …

It will get easier - the loafer will get found out and performance managed, the days will get lighter, you will start to recover from the crazy job and you will find the job itself will get easier as it becomes more familiar 😊 Hang on in there.

KK

debtfreewannabe321

I think I follow too many diaries 🤣 I couldn't find mine...twas on the second page lol.

@KajiKita getting up at 5:30am for work should be illegal 😳. 6 is bad enough!

So the loafer with lazy-itius has got on my nerves again today. We were asked to go through an entire folder full of things (huge great big folder with lots of paperwork work in) and highlight certain bits. She has already turned up late stating traffic was bad and I thought, well, she's here now, let's try and be nice to her one last time....see if I can break that wall she has up. I offered a cup of tea or coffee - no. Okay no problems, shall we divide up these by the workload we will eventually get (so certain number of students work to her and to me depending on who's been allocated to who...and bear in mind I'm full time so I have the lions share anyway I thought this was more than fair) got a soft, yeh and shrug of shoulders. So I passed her one. She got it out, opened it, sat staring and then didn't do anything. I asked if she needed any help -i'm trying so hard not to 'manage' her as I am fully aware we are colleagues rather than me being her supervisor 🤣- and she said no I'm fine.

Then she got up, and walked out and into class to sit and listen, or so I assumed. I left her to it, whatever I'll do it all. Not bothered really, wasn't a hard task just tedious. Tutor comes in, where is LWL (loafer with lazy-itius 🤪😉) umm she's with you right ? In class? Ummm no, she says. Tutor found her in a dark corner off a sub classroom hiding 🤣. Busted. She was brought back in. And she did one piece of work out of 13. 🤔

Anyway I cracked on. Didn't really engage with her and she didn't with me. I was fed up giving my energy by this point as she was rebuffing every attempt at conversation (to do with work or not) or work she was given. I got up to do something out the room, was gone about ten minutes, came back to pitch black room as she'd switched light off. I said, I'm sorry but I need to put It back on. I can't read that paperwork in the dark. 😳 She got her notebook and laptop and walked out finding somewhere else to go. Tutor came in again, where is she now? Dunno? Found once again - she'd been 'checking emails' for half hour 🙈. She doesn't have many I'm assuming as she's new. I mean I don't - so assuming she doesn't. Tutor comes to me, she said the table you're working at is too disorganised. There were two folders out, one laptop and one notebook and a pencil case. It's a big table. So I tidied it and kept it tidy all day. Even though I was technically using everything on the table 🤦🏻‍♀️ and honestly by lunchtime I'd had enough of her. Came back from canteen with my lunch to a dark room once again and I didn't even ask this time. Switched light on and sat down. We are working in a kitchen - if for nothing else you need the lights on for everyone coming in and making drinks etc.

What a day. It went on and on like this btw till 4:30- I escaped and offered to go to a meeting at 3pm that I didn't need to attend to get away 🤣 and went to main office after. She turned up at 4:30 with her coat on. I said are you leaving? I was aware you said you were going at 5? Yeh right I am she says. Anyway I was leaving at that time and really didn't care either way as let's face it she'd just sit on her phone. So I left. She probably did too 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️. So tomorrow she's not in and I'm finishing early as already nearly done my hours for the week. I've got two meetings out of college booked so should be an easy one. ....I hope. Really am zapped from this stress.

Not a NSD got lunch out but it was yummy and well deserved I think 🤣.

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all,

It's Friday thank goodness 🙂 energy a bit low this morning but I've got a short day ahead and hope to be leaving by 3 at the latest today. So will push through and that is my first full time working week done since I was in my 30s...no one seems to count the 24/7 of motherhood 🤪 cos I did do that in between as well as being cook, Housemaid, personal shopper, taxi and pet sitter 🤣.

My cousin gifted me some notepads, to do lists, and weekly planner when I got my new job which was really sweet of her, they're coming in to work today. My brain would not switch off last night with jobs that have overspilled from Mon, Tues, Weds and Thurs, every time I was getting nearly finished on a task another would come in. Seemingly more important than the last. I am going to try and finish off all those today as I did manage to close off a few yesterday after class time. Some are top priority as I've got my first real job on Monday helping a student out and about outside of class. There seems to be folders and folders of forms for me to sift through (either online or in hard copy in the folder) and I'm not really sure why there are so many...so need to pull out what I think is needed and get It checked by someone else who will hopefully know. I much prefer to walk into a job where there is someone to actually hand over their work/ show me what to do. The tutor used to do my job but she's very busy with her own work and has already been very helpful so I don't want to keep asking questions 🫣.

I had another really early night last night, meditated before sleep and this morning before getting up. I didn't sleep too well but I'm getting better at shutting the brain off as it starts going into overwhelm meltdown and I had to do that at least a dozen times in the night. The bags under my eyes are getting bigger and bigger 🫩. F1tbit tracked six hours sleep even though I was in bed for 9 ..and only one hour deep sleep 💤. Need to catch up this weekend. As a result I've tried to not make plans anywhere and try to take it easy on myself as I go into the new job and hours. It's been a long time since I worked in the workplace for nearly 40 hours a week 🫩 and I had way more energy back then.

I've ordered the food shop for tomorrow morning so I don't need to go get it. Oh and we had a huge win- we had £160 left in our food budget this month!! I think I put £750 in so for a five week month I think we've done an amazing job and I've also used this for any takeaway we've got. I'll see if that extra is needed anywhere else but if not I'll leave it in the grocery fund for supplements that run out meaning I don't need to use my pocket money each month topping those up as they run out...which means I never have anything left for me 🙈. In fact talking of pocket money I've been on the R0man sale again 🫣 I'm loving wearing dresses more at the moment, they're not too tight and they fit nicely, glazing over the midriff 🤣 as well as looking professional enough for work or casual enough for every day. So got a couple of dresses and tops in the sale and put It on a pay in 3. So £32 will come out of this month's pocket money for that. Right I'll be off to have some breakfast and then get going I think.

Baldybear

Why is food so expensive, 750 for 3 adults seems silly but the norm these days, i spend nesrly 500 odd on 2 adults and a 4 yr old and she gets free school lunches so only breakfast and dinner for her and dh usually buys own lunch out of own money so why still so expensive, it nearly wipes out my own p/t work salary!

debtfreewannabe321

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81861215#Comment_81861215

I agree it was nearly all my old wages too. Well that and some pocket money leftover for me and that was about it. I usually put £600 in the food budget but Jan I was starting new job and thought I might be tempted more with takeout (I did have a few but we were actually pretty restrained) so I put lots in to foresee that problem. It turned out DP was away for a week and half too and he's the one who eats the most so we saved money instantly there 🤣. I've only put £600 in Febs food budget again and it's a shorter month however still four food shops so same as usual there.

debtfreewannabe321

Afternoon all, I'm done and home for the weekend 😃.

So my first full week done in new job. I've had a good week. Pros are- less student facing time, less students overall, more one to one where I get to see real growth in them and see them achieving and feeling proud of themselves. Being out of college nearly half the week this week and going forward probably quite a bit more. The manager came to find me and thank me and tell me she's had fab feedback already from other staff (assuming the two main ones I work with). Tutor also had a word with the other lady I work with and asked her politely to not give me any of her tasks 🙈 because I was getting overwhelmed with to-do lists. I'm paid more than the other job I left. And I got to leave early today 😃. Lots of pros.

Cons- the new colleague lil miss LWL ☹️ I have tried and tried to befriend her, find some sort of commonality and then resorting to just trying to collaborate with her (which is needed as part of our job) and she's just non-communicative, keeps switching all the lights off and tells the tutor I'm messy which had my tummy in knots of anxiety every time she walked in the room after that and she keeps skiving off, hiding and disappearing early and turning up late - like who does this in a new job 🤯. Other cons- All the paperwork 😵 so so much of it! The extra hours are having a detrimental effect on my energy and stress levels - but I am hoping this rights itself once I get used to more hours and the days become lighter.

~~

However I've been through all the paperwork today and sorted everything out. Put a folder together for on the go and have everything ready for Monday. I'm looking forward to it and I'm enjoying working one to one out of a classroom environment with students who are transitioning to life as a grown up! They're a really nice bunch and I don't have the issues I've had on the other job where I feel like I'm fearing for my safety some days.

So anyway, I'm home ☺️ I'm going to get a takeaway not because I CBA but because it's a celebration of me surviving 🤣 and for both DP and my new job.

Also need to - must do(!) the budget and move some money around before Monday as bills will be due out! Some of it is done but not all. Today I had three notifications of new letters from.CMS. but I am tempted to bin it off and just agree to payments until December. After my payment to ex was based on a job that I'd only done Nov-Apr so less than £4k hence why my payment was so small. So if they were to recalculate on full wages and new wages I think it would be much higher ...so I think to accept payment until Dec (when it should stop in Aug I think end of school year?) might be ok. I think I'll just see how much arrears he's amassed so far though and see if we can't agree to a bit more....might be pushing my luck with that though as he's a nightmare but so is CMS and I don't have the mental capacity to fight with them or their site anymore.

Hope everyone is ok. I want to catch up on diaries but with so many 9pm bedtimes and 6am starts I haven't had a chance yet. 💖

Edited to add- DP has been put forward for exceptional work bonus and will get 1.5 x 10% of his yearly salary (on new wages not old one!) so that extra 0.5 will mean that pays for most of the tax so he should get more than we were expecting! Hoping for £4.6k...this will pay for our summer hols and also one DIY job in the house we hope (or as close to paid for as possible).

Oh and LWL wasn't in today hence why my day was really good 🙂💖.